12.9号作文一篇，第一次发帖，请多多指教~~~(已更新12.10作文求拍！！)

leave3644UID: 2663507

Do you agree or disagree teacher who is a serious and strict person more effective than a teacher is humor and is easygoing person?

Nowadays there is an increasing discuss about what kind of teacher is the best suitable for students. Some people believed that as a teacher need use rigid attitude to students which can make students more tame and hardworking in the class. However, another part of people claimed that teacher should be temperature or more touchable with students which can build excellcent circumste(a)nce. As much as I prospective, warmly teacher can be more effective to student's work.
At first, if teachers are easygoing that more and more students are willing communicate with them. Communicate is a best way to improve students and teacher relationship. If teachers want to the advance student grade, they should talking with the student as much as they can. Through the chatting they can discover what the shortcoming in the student and what does he has some potential skills. Temper teachers might be more patient to heard students problems and help them to solve. I still remember that Helen Keller has a mild and sooth teacher--Mrs.Shaliwen. She was so patient and kindly that make Helen who was born to blind and peevish girl became to a graceful women. Mr.s Shaliwen used her humorous quality let everything(s) change to visualize that can made little Helen was likely to told her own questions which let Mr.Shaliwen much availability know what the point that Helen hadn't got it. This kind of teacher is best tool to give students effectively help. Teacher and students are not only have(having) the workship(fellowship) relative but also have deeply friendship.
Moreover, if teachers are easygoing that them self can readily expand teaching plans and get some experiences from students. There are so many modern things in the 21st century and students as young pioneers can straightforward received new things. If teachers are humor, they can get some different things through the students answers or from ordinary talking. They can know what the students best favor stars, movies, music or even the cloths. From that, teachers can have younger hearts to know what the children’s life is. These experiences can make them quickly leave the stressful work or complex society. Humorous and easygoing might also help teachers
prolong their life. Although we do not know assure that these qualities can help people avoid aging, we can affirm that these characters can make one people much happier to their life and work.
Definitely, humorous and easygoing strategies can be critical to the teacher's work. Basically, the effective is prerequisite for every step for the teacher's progress and the origin of every other good qualities of an excellent teacher. Therefore, as a teacher ambitious to lead the students to an highly grade and benign circumste(a)nce strict and serious may never walk into class.


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请大家重批！谢谢了！！20号考试。最后一次考了。我是10年的本申，到现在还被折磨在托福战线上，往广大哥哥姐姐同僚们狠狠批斗我，一定要把作文弄到25分！！
必当重谢！！我一定会每天超额完成任务，烦请各位了~~谢谢

ps>.红的是我自己小改的一点拼写错误~
请大家给我多点建议~谢谢

SilentScorpiusUID: 2686998

( F, J) \- a7 e8 s& V, cNowadaysthere is an increasing discuss about what kind of teacher is the best(改为more)suitable for students. Some people believed that as(删去) a teacher need(to) userigid attitude to students which can make students more tame(用词太狠...米国人不会明白的...) andhardworking in the class. However, another part of people claimed thatteacher should be temperature(kind?) or more touchable with students which canbuild excellcent circumste(a)nce. As much as I prospective(换个词？), warmly teacher can be more effective to student's work.1 N) I! _& B8 p9 j
    At first, ifteachers are easygoing that more and more students are willing (to)communicate with them. Communicate(communication) is a(the) best way to improve studentsand teacher('s) relationship. If teachers want to the advance(increase?) studentgrade, they should talking withthe student as much as they can. Through the chatting they can discoverwhat the shortcoming in the student and what does he has some potentialskills. Temper teachers might be more patient to heard studentsproblems and help them to solve. I still remember that Helen Keller hasa mild and sooth teacher--Mrs.Shaliwen. She was so patient and kindlythat make Helen who was born to blind and peevish girl(结构不平行) became to agraceful women. Mr.s Shaliwen used her humorous quality leteverything(s) change to visualize that can made little Helen was likelyto told her own questions which let Mr.Shaliwen much availability knowwhat the point that Helen hadn't got it. This kind of teacher is besttool to give students effectively help. (这个例子不错)Teacher and students are notonly have(having) the workship(fellowship) relative but also have deeply friendship. : I3 ^3 f' E/ n* }$ o8 f
    Moreover, ifteachers are easygoing that them self can readily expand(improve?) teaching plansand get some experiences from students. There are so many modern thingsin the 21st century and students as young pioneers can straightforwardreceived new things. If teachers are humor, they can get some differentthings through the students answers or from ordinary talking. They canknow what the students best favor stars, movies, music or even thecloths. From that, teachers can have younger hearts to know what thechildren’s life is. These experiences can make them quickly leave thestressful work or complex society(没有接上主题句). Humorous and easygoing might alsohelp teachers
: M* r4 A( p5 ~6 t- J) _0 a6 kprolongtheir life. Although we do not know assure that these qualities canhelp people avoid aging, we can affirm that these characters can makeone people much happier to their life and work(这里跑题了，说的是effective,与寿命无关...).$ H7 E7 I8 F2 f6 s
    Definitely,humorous and easygoing strategies can be critical to the teacher'swork. Basically, the effective is prerequisite for every step for theteacher's progress(qualification) and the origin of every other good qualities of anexcellent teacher. Therefore, as a teacher ambitious to lead thestudents to an highly grade and benign circumste(a)nce(断句？) strict and serious may never walk into class.

LZ第一个例子举得不错，但是需要特别注意语法问题和用词。
, s/ w. X( |/ n3 e9 _

shirley072UID: 2712200

Nowadays there is an increasingdiscuss about what kind of teacher is the best suitable
(best和suitable最好只用一个，否则不太通顺) for students. Some people believed(用现在时态啦，下面一句也是) that as a teacher need use
(这句话不太对，as a teacher和need use之间应该有主语出现) rigid attitude to (use attitude to?不对吧) students which can make students more tame and hardworking inthe class. However, another part of people claimed that teacher should betemperature or more touchable with students which can build excellcentcircumste(a)nce (我觉得这个excellcent用得不对，并且这个话感觉说得很含糊，建立一个很好的环境干啥？前后文没有提让我觉得很迷惑). As much as I prospective, warmlyteacher can be more effective to student's work.


At first, if teachers are easygoingthat more and more students are willing (to) communicate with them. Communicate is a best way to improvestudents and teacher(‘s) relationship.If teachers want to the (the去掉) advancestudent grade, they should talking with the student as much as they can.Through the chatting they can discover what the shortcoming in the student
(what后面跟了一个名词？) andwhat does he has
(又是does又是has，楼主要注意语法啊) some potential skills. Temperteachers might be more patient to heard (hear) students(‘) problems andhelp them to solve. I still remember that Helen Keller has a mild and soothteacher--Mrs.Shaliwen. She was so patient and kindly that make Helen who wasborn to blind and peevish girl became to a graceful women. Mr.s Shaliwenused her humorous quality let everything(s) change to visualize that can madelittle Helen was likely to told her own questions which let Mr.Shaliwen muchavailability know what the point that Helen hadn't got it.
(如果这是一句话，那建议改成几句吧，这里的关系太混乱了，并且 let everything(s) change to visualize这个我完全看不懂是什么意思) This kind of teacher is best tool (teacher不能是工具吧) to givestudents effectively help. Teacher and students are not only have(having) theworkship(fellowship) relative but also have deeply friendship.
Moreover, if teachers are easygoingthat them self
(they) canreadily expand teaching plans (扩大plan？楼主想说什么？) and get some experiences from students. There are so many modernthings in the 21st century and students as young pioneers can straightforwardreceived new things. If teachers are humor, they can get some different thingsthrough the students answers or from ordinary talking. They can know what thestudents best favor stars, movies, music or even the cloths. From that,teachers can have younger hearts to know what the children’s life is. Theseexperiences can make them quickly leave the stressful work or complex society.Humorous and easygoing might also help teachers prolong their life. Although wedo not know assure that these qualities can help people avoid aging, we canaffirm that these characters can make one people much happier to their life andwork. (要注意题目是问easygoing or strict的teacher是否更加effective，而不是easygoing给老师带来的好处，好处可以写，但是最后要回到题目，比如说老师的心态年轻了，能更好的了解现在的年轻人因此会改变教学方案之类的而更加effective)


Definitely, humorous and easygoingstrategies can be critical to the teacher's work. Basically, the effective isprerequisite for every step for the teacher's progress and the origin of everyother good qualities of an excellent teacher. Therefore, as a teacher ambitiousto lead the students to an highly grade and benign circumste(a)nce strict andserious may never walk into class.


最后我再说一句话吧，楼主要好好注意一下遣词造句呢，语法，句式以及词语搭配的准确应用~~~
个人意见啦，供参考，改得不好莫怪


加油~~~~~

leave3644UID: 2663507

题目：孩子是学习和游戏好还是做家务好

With the skyrocketing development of the modern society, 21st century need people who can have multiple direction to improve him/her self. While some parents strongly believed children should dedicated in school works and childhood, others claimed the children should share some housework from their parents. In fact, from my perspective, whether should the children be study or work for family depends on different circumstances for the family or time.
For the family, massed with money and meanwhile, well-developed, they should let the children to know how the work is not easy to do. Just make them do some basic jobs like washing the dishes, cleaning the floor or cooking by them self. These work not only bother the children study time but also teach them how living is not an easily thing. I still remember the richest person in the world Bill Gates donated his whole money to enhance the poverty country's children life environment and build a lot of hoping school that can make increasing little children have a educate right. However, he just let his son find a part time job in the weekends and orders them need to do their housework everyday but never give them pocket money. He told his children to use their own hands to create their life empire. He let the children know property of living is not from parents but from their own hands.
Sometimes we might be complain how boring the housework they are. And parent may also don't want to see children loose their score or childhood during the housework. In the children's times, study and play as the two essential elements in their recollection could not absence. Although study some housework is a good job, if let the heavy housework make the children get hurt or make them feel stress out, the house work should cut down. In the student’s time, we can have enough time to enjoy pure friendship or honest relationship. And moreover, we have the best recollected brain to study the knowledge such like physic or language. We should not waste the time do other things which could not give some help in the future.
According to the statements mentioned above, without neglecting the critical part of housework or ignoring the support of the play or study. Both of views are in different time to hold on.