12.11 你认为获得真实新闻应从报纸还是电视？

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

12.11
你认为获得真实新闻应从报纸还是电视？

A heated debate that whether the newspaper or television can provide more authentic news for public is under way. Considering the merits brought by television, a prevailing media in our society, are preponderate over those brought by newspaper, I prefer the statement that people can attain more authentic news from television than newspaper.

To begin with, it is undeniable that TV news program can bring us more authentic news than newspaper, for the reason that we can get the first-hand material including some fresh videos photo in the scene of this news from TV. While, the newspaper can at most provide us some photographs with comments to read. Those photos pictured by different reporters, to some extent, may distort the authenticity of the news. Take a true incidence for example. Once I saw a photo about a film star with a predominant headline in the entertainment newspaper, saying that this film star was pregnant for four month. Of cause, I was surprised by this news. But from this picture, it seemed that this film star was getting fatter and more awkward than ever before. Incidentally, I saw the same news in the television. In a live show this film star was doing a risk sport to raise charitable fund for the needy students. During the interview by TV reporter, I finally realized that it was a gossip in that newspaper. Hence, the report in that newspaper couldn't stand.

Furthermore, though newspaper can provide news faster than TV, it is undisputable that TV can make public understood the news more explicit. Take my experience for instance. as we know, the SARS virus were prevailing all over the world in the 2003 year. Though we could get all kinds of news about this deadly disease from newspaper everyday at that time,
this paper news could only provide us ruthless figure depicting that how many people were dead due to this virus. In contrast, it is the television that provided us more explicit and vivid pictures that how the patients were attracted by SARS. It is the television that gave us more information about how the doctors and nurse struggled with this disease. Meanwhile the video pictured by reporter gave me a deeply impression about this terrible disease.

Judging from evidences I offered, not only can TV provide more authentic news to public, but also it can take us to the first places where news occur. Therefore, if I were given the choice, I would choose TV as a vehicle to get more authentic news, rather than the newspaper.


写的不是一般的差，是非常差 完全没有思路的举例子，改的同学指点指点我吧

sosodiuUID: 2731702

12.11
你认为获得真实新闻应从报纸还是电视？

A heated debate that whether the newspaper or television can provide more authentic news for public is under way.（第一句whether …more 是不是有一点问题） Considering the merits brought by television, a prevailing media in our society, are preponderate over those brought by newspaper, I prefer the statement that people can attain more authentic news from television than newspaper.

To begin with, it is undeniable that TV news program can bring us more authentic news than newspaper, for the reason that we can get the first-hand material including some fresh videos and photos in the scene of this news from TV. While, the newspaper can at most provide us some photographs with comments to read. Those photos pictured (picture作动词很不错~ 但查了一下似乎没有拍照的意思 尽量保险一些) by different reporters, to some extent, may distort the authenticity of the news. Take a true incidence for example. Once I saw a photo about a film star with a predominant headline in the entertainment newspaper, saying that this film star was pregnant for four month. Of cause（course 这个词组使用时稍微注意 比较口语化 certainly surely）, I was surprised by this news. But from this picture, it seemed that this film star was getting fatter and more awkward than ever before. Incidentally, I saw the same news in the television. In a live show this film star was doing a risk sport to raise charitable fund for the needy students. During the interview by TV reporter, I finally realized that it was a gossip in that newspaper. Hence, the report in that newspaper couldn't stand.
（例子蛮好 但前面的观点阐述最好稍加调整一下 例子就可以更好的为你想表达的意思服务了。。。比如图片更容易作假阿 之类 突出以下first-hand material 例子引入应该会更自然点）

Furthermore, though newspaper can provide news faster than TV, it is undisputable that TV can make public understood the news more explicit. Take my experience for instance，as we know, the SARS virus were prevailing all over the world in the 2003 year.(建议直接用时间状语作分句切入用逗点句把背景都囊括了 因为下面大多是短句 整个例子看起来会精简有力些Though we could get all kinds of news about this deadly disease from newspaper everyday at that time, this(these) paper news could only provide us ruthless figure depicting that how many people were dead due to this virus. In contrast, it is the television that provided us more explicit and vivid pictures that how the patients were attracted (affeted) by SARS. It is the television that gave us more information about how the doctors and nurse struggled with this disease. Meanwhile the video pictured by reporter gave me a deeply (deep) impression about this terrible disease.

Judging from evidences I offered, not only can TV provide more authentic news to public, but also it can take us to the first places where news occur. Therefore, if I were given the choice, I would choose TV as a vehicle to get more authentic news, rather than the newspaper.


词汇 句子 连贯性都不错， 也许是题目的关系， 一篇用了两个personal experience，这样的布局就要多多注意例子内语言的运用，因为观点阐述就相对少了，要文章饱满一些例子内的语言水准就比较受关注。个人拙见。。。 字数 词汇量。。。好羡慕你

bixueer111UID: 2697942

A heated debate that whether the newspaper or television can provide more authentic news for public is under way. Considering the merits brought by television, a prevailing media in our society, are preponderate（这里用preponderant, adj.） over those brought by newspaper, I prefer the statement that people can attain more authentic news from television than newspaper.: E7 J& `* |( U; c. ^; q* z' d
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To begin with, it is undeniable that TV news program can bring us more authentic news than newspaper, for the reason that we can get the first-hand material including some fresh videos and photos in the scene of this news from TV. While, the newspaper can at most provide us some photographs with comments to read. Those photos pictured (picture我查的有拍照的意思，不过要用被动语态诶) by different reporters, to some extent, may distort the authenticity of the news. Take a true incidence for example. Once I saw a photo about a film star with a predominant headline in the entertainment newspaper, saying that this film star was pregnant for four month. Of cause（意见同上certainly surely ）, I was surprised by this news. But from this picture, it seemed that this film star was getting fatter and more awkward than ever before. Incidentally, I saw the same news in the television. In a live show this film star was doing a risk sport to raise charitable fund for the needy students. During the interview by TV reporter, I finally realized that it was a gossip in that newspaper. Hence, the report in that newspaper couldn't stand.
确实例子好好诶，我都没想到~
. @3 |: g8 }8 ~4 R4 b
Furthermore, though newspaper can provide news faster than TV, it is undisputable that TV can make public understood the news more explicit. Take my experience for instance，感觉接下来的不是你自己的例子诶，所以~~as we know, the SARS virus were prevailing all over the world in the 2003 year. Though we could get all kinds of news about this deadly disease from newspaper everyday at that time, this(these) paper news could only provide us ruthless figure depicting that how many people were dead due to this virus. In？ By contrast, it is the television that provided us more explicit and vivid pictures that how the patients were attracted (affected) by SARS. It is the television that gave us more information about how the doctors and nurse struggled with this disease. Meanwhile the video pictured by reporter gave me a deeply (deep) impression about this terrible disease.
& p) r) @# ?; g7 q0 s) R; l
Judging from evidences I offered, not only can TV provide more authentic news to public, but also it can take us to the first places where news occur. Therefore, if I were（可以省略I were） given the choice, I would choose TV as a vehicle to get more authentic news, rather than the newspaper.
羡慕词汇量啊~~~羡慕ing~~~唉~~结构很好~很清楚的观点例子~向你学习~
我终于知道为什么我作文得17分了~~汗，差距真大~