作文12.14

qhyqhy88UID: 2632963

12.14 Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas. Agree or disagree. ”，

I don’t agree with this opinion. It is said that the different between human beings and animals is thinking. That is why human is human, Good looks and dresses can leave others a good impression, but that can not always make sense.

First, We live in a world that the weak falling victim to the strong. This is the whole truth since our ancestor exist in the world. In that just good ideas can make them found more food. For example, after the one who found the bronze. Their efficiency of hunting has a huge improvement, what’s more, they chances of surviving are higher. And many years later, with many good ideas from our ancestor we get the position of nature today with so many continents.

Also, some one will say that there are so many persons get success by Good looks and dresses what others have to work hard through his or her whole life. Recently, some gays through TV show become famous, like a girl who named Zenyike in a famous TV show get high points from judges but be not accepted in audiences. I think the idea of this TV show is successes. But Zen just becomes famous and will leave nothing in audiences’ memory. So in the long-run good looks and dresses have no difference.

In the end, I must say that good ideas make our live easier. Like Edison who created hundred and thousand things in his whole life. So he deserved his great famous and appreciate. We can say that he made the social a tremendous progress by his good ideas and his intelligent brain.
没时间……

shiwei83UID: 2680950

I don’t agree with this opinion.（最好能把题目用自己的话复述一下） It is said that the different between human beings and animals is thinking. That is why human is human, Good looks and dresses can leave others a good impression, but that can not always make sense."

First, We live in a world that the weak falling victim to the strong. This is the whole truth since our ancestor exist in the world. In that just good ideas can make them found more food. For example, after the one who found the bronze. Their efficiency of hunting has a huge improvement, what’s more, they（their） chances of surviving are higher. And many years later, with many good ideas from our ancestor we get the position of nature today with so many continents.（这句的意思有点问题？）

Also, some one will say that there are so many persons get success by Good looks and dresses what others have to work hard through his or her whole life. Recently, some gays through TV show become famous, like a girl who named Zenyike in a famous TV show get high points from judges but be not accepted in audiences. I think the idea of this TV show is successes. But Zen just becomes famous and will leave nothing in audiences’ memory. So in the long-run good looks and dresses have no difference （用词有问题吧。。。缺少比较的对象）.

In the end, I must say that good ideas make our live easier. Like Edison who created hundred and thousand things in his whole life. So he deserved his great famous and appreciate. We can say that he made the social a tremendous progress by his good ideas and his intelligent brain.
没时间……（很可惜，最后一点没时间展开。要注意时间的把握）
总体上来说，你的文章结构不错，要注意句式变化以及准确用词。