2.24作文求拍~~~谢谢大虾

yuxiao518UID: 2527170

So reluctant to write and this is my secend esseay, so slowly, 347/2 hour.:dizzy: 无模板

To be well-informed people should get information from many different information sources.- d



In the 21st century, every thing in our beautiful planet has been pushed into a fast track, called" information age". We should keep pace with this overwhelming change in our life by exploiting enough available around us and be armed with varies information sources from outside media. In fact, well-informed people recognize this earlier as well as do it better.

By grasping information from newspapers, magazines, televisions, and radios, one could enhance confidence when communicating with others. As few know, the fresh information of daily life is a treasure asset for a well-educated person expressing their point and showing their well quality. “Toyata make a big apologize for its acceleration unconscious problem, do you know what has happened?” “Yes, I know.” After a surely answer, the following will probably be a description and a statement. Without the controversial information thronged into our mind, we could never have easily smiles to confront others’ doubts and questions.

However, Internet is an open window listening one’s voice concerning a particular events and feeling one’s heart, while television are often served as political tough and entertainment tool. So do the newspaper and magazine. Indeed, well-informed people are not necessarily need information covering all sources.


Books, yet, as I'm a bookworm, could also cover all the materials for those stand in the top of the scholar and knowledge tower. Essays, papers, charters, or visual materials are all swarmed in the college libraries, attracting professors to search and explore. And a further point must be unveiled that books have their own history: information included in are raw materials, which are more visible and believable than those appeared from other sources. As a consequence, people circled in the college would prefer to the only one most trustful information source-book.

No matter the insider and outsider of colleges, employed or unemployed workers, children and adults, information are touchable and available everywhere and every minute. We should not need to intentionally get information, but all information tide from different sources has been surging upon us. But well-informed people just choose the best suitable and efficient sources.

john_332UID: 2741978

个人修改意见如下：

In the 21st century, every thing in our beautiful planet has been pushed into a fast track, called" information age". We should keep pace with (应该是stay pace with/ keep up with ？ ) this overwhelming change in our life by exploiting enough (sources/information) available around us and be armed with varies (various) information sources from outside media. In fact, well-informed people recognize this earlier as well as do it better.(感觉最后这一句怪怪的)

By grasping (grasp用得不好,个人觉得access/acquire)information from newspapers, magazines, televisions, and radios, one could enhance confidence when communicating with others. As few know, the fresh information of daily life is a treasure asset for a well-educated person expressing their point and showing their well quality. “Toyata make(makes/has made) a big apologize(apology) for its acceleration unconscious problem (potential acceleration issues), do you know what has happened?” “Yes, I know.” After a surely(confident) answer, the following will probably be a description and a statement. Without the controversial information thronged into our mind, we could never have easily smiles to confront others’ doubts and questions.(个人觉得这句很confusion)

However, Internet is an open window(which) listening (welcome) one’s voice concerning a particular events and feeling one’s heart(influence one's feelings), while television are often served as political tough (tough ?)and entertainment tool. (前面这句不错)So do (does) the newspaper and magazine (应该用复数). Indeed, well-informed people are not necessarily need information covering all sources.(....necessarily have to cover all informations)

Books, yet, as I'm a bookworm, could also cover all the materials for those stand in the top of the scholar and knowledge tower (world / Ivory tower). Essays, papers, charters, or visual materials are all swarmed in(into,但是这里用swarm不太合适，swarm一般指人，动物等) the college libraries, attracting professors (experts)to search and explore. And a further point must be unveiled that books have their own history: information included in (the contents inside) are raw materials, which are more visible and believable (reliable) than those (感觉这里缺一个which)appeared from other sources. As a consequence, (as a consequence of it)people (缺一个who)circled in(circle in ? 用得不好)the college would prefer to (去掉to)the only one most trustful information source-book.

No matter the insider and outsider of colleges (inside or outside the acdemic circle), employed or unemployed workers, children and adults, information are touchable (tangible)and available everywhere and every minute. We should not need to intentionally get information(we don't have to get information purposely), but(because) all information tide from different sources has been(用现在时更生动，are) surging upon us. But (觉得用so更流畅) well-informed people just choose the best suitable and efficient sources.

小心littleheartUID: 2726034

In the 21st century, every thing in our beautiful planet has been pushed into a fast track, called" information age".（第一句话与主题无关，不建议这样，最好开门见山，） We should keep pace with this overwhelming（dramatic） change in our life by exploiting enough (information) available around us and be armed with varies (various) information sources from outside media. In fact, well-informed people recognize this earlier as well as do it better.(这一段读完后都不知道你要表达什么？你的主题是什么呢？你的观点呢？)

By grasping information from newspapers, magazines, televisions, and radios, one could enhance confidence when communicating with others. （这句话为了表达什么？）As few know, the fresh information of daily life is a treasure asset for a well-educated person expressing their point and showing their well quality. “Toyata makes a big apologize(apology) for its acceleration unconscious problem (potential acceleration issues), do you know what has happened?” “Yes, I know.” After a surely answer, the following will probably be a description and a statement. Without the controversial information thronged into our mind, we could never have easily smiles to confront others’ doubts and questions.(lz的这段，我觉得是严重的跑题，你叙述丰田的例子为了证明你的什么观点呢？而且在论述时句与句链接不紧密，总感觉下一句来的很突然)

However, Internet is an open window listening one’s voice concerning a particular events and feeling one’s heart（不明白这句话要表达什么意思？）, while television are often served as political tough (啥意思？)and entertainment tool. So do the newspaper and magazine (最好用复数). Indeed, well-informed people are not necessarily（necessary） need information covering all sources.(终于看到你的观点了~汗~~)

Books, yet, as I'm a bookworm, could also cover all the materials for those stand in the top of the scholar and knowledge tower (world). Essays, papers, charters, or visual materials are all swarmed in the college libraries, attracting professors to search and explore（要表达什么呢？）. And a further point must be unveiled that books have their own history: information included in（in什么？） are raw materials, which are more visible and believable than those appeared from other sources. As a consequence, people (who)circled in the college would prefer to (去掉to)the only one most trustful information source-book.

No matter the insider and outsider of colleges, （whether）employed or unemployed workers, children and adults, information are touchable and available everywhere and every minute. We should not need to intentionally get information（intentionally最后放后面）, but all information tide from different sources has been(are) surging upon us. But (这里没有转折) well-informed people just choose the best suitable and efficient sources.

总结，楼主存在很多语法错误，导致有些句子我没读懂，我没文化。觉得楼主用词有点生僻啊~所以有些词不晓得用的是否合适~~主要是这篇读完后，都不明白楼主的观点啊~~难道是我对主题理解错了~？