[Big Fish]2月26日Issue048by—BobbieZZ

BobbieZZUID: 2756583

ISSUE 48
"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
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The author claims that the person who significant events and trends in history were the groups of people that have already forgotten, not the celebrated individuals. I disagree with this statement with one or more respects. The groups of people have make contribution to history. However, from ancient times to the present, most people serve outstanding individual as a model and learn from them, even individual lead the groups of people to create and change history. Moreover, human being’s long history could show how important status the key historical figures they had.

As a threshold matter, in certain respects distinct groups of people are play indelible roles in history and even make contribution to human being’s development. For instance, the pyramids of Egypt
which is constitute one of the most potent and enduring symbols of Ancient Egyptian civilization was constructed by large numbers of faceless and nameless groups. Most of the groups sacrificed during building pyramid, however, no one could remember them, but only record the pyramid’s owner in history. As a result, the groups of people who had been forgotten had make something even significant event, however, what they did is anyone could replaced.

However, something anyone could replace in human-being’s historical. The individuals have altered people’s life, they won’t be able to sacrifice themselves but make excellent contribution to history. Admittedly, Henry Ford was the American founder of the Ford Motor Company and father of modern assembly lines used in mass production. Because of his invention, motor industry could transform tremendous and more people could possess their own automobile. However, most present person only could record Ford instead of the groups of people who made automobiles in those days in the motor industry. Generally speaking, the individual who made significant events and excellent invention could record in history.

The individuals who had remembered by history could also influence present groups of people, their spirit and legend could be acquainted with by most of majority. In addition, a new outstanding person would appear in next period. One could be exceptional characteristic is extensive learning and will to comprehend the tale about great names in history. However, the groups of people don’t care the history about individual, so they could learn from them by their spirit so that the nameless always do the general and been forgotten by history by tick away.

In sum up, history could only record and research the person who had made significant event and concernful invention instead of the groups of people who were faceless and nameless though they had sacrifice their lives when they made some contribution. Because what they did anyone could replace them. As a result, history emphasis on individuals is nothing to argue.



  

dgxy08UID: 2599486

The author claims that the person (who significant events and trends in history)(怎么没有谓语动词？) were the groups of people that have already forgotten, not the celebrated individuals. I disagree with this statement with one or more respects. The groups of people have make contribution to history. However, from ancient times to (the) present (the可以省略吧？), most people serve outstanding individual as a model and learn from them, even individual lead the groups of people to create and change history. Moreover, human being’s long history could show how important status the key historical figures they had.？？这个从句不太理解，从句中的谓语动词？

As a threshold matter, in certain respects distinct groups of people are play indelible roles in history and even make contribution to human being’s development. For instance, the pyramids of Egypt
which is constitute one of the most potent and enduring symbols of Ancient Egyptian
civilization was constructed by large numbers of faceless and nameless groups. Most of the groups sacrificed during building pyramid, however, no one could remember them, but only record the pyramid’s owner in history. As a result, the groups of people who had been forgotten had make something even significant event, however, what they did is anyone could replaced.

However, something anyone(??)
could replace in human-being’s historical. The individuals have altered people’s life, they won’t be able to sacrifice themselves but make excellent contribution to history. Admittedly, Henry Ford was the American founder of the Ford Motor Company and father of modern assembly lines used in mass production. Because of his invention, motor industry could transform tremendous and more people could possess their own automobile. However, most present person only could record Ford instead of the groups of people who made automobiles in those days in the motor industry. Generally speaking, the individual who made significant events and excellent invention could record in history.

The individuals (who had)(删除) remembered by history could also influence present groups of people, since,their spirit and legend could be acquainted with by most of majority. In addition, a new outstanding person would appear in next period. One could be exceptional characteristic is extensive learning and will to comprehend the tale about great names in history.(主谓？？？) However, the groups of people don’t care the history about individual(你想说人民群众不关心名声？), so（therefore） they could learn from them by their spirit（指代不清） so that the nameless always do the general and been forgotten by history by tick away.

In sum up, history could only record and research the person who had made significant event and concernful invention instead of the groups of people who were faceless and nameless though they had sacrifice their lives when they made some contribution. Because what they did anyone could replace them.（Because what they did could be done by others） As a result, history emphasis on individuals is nothing to argue.

本文最大的问题，语言上句子有些不通顺！ 整篇逻辑还算清楚。但是语法错误有点错。有些句子表达的有点中国话。但是举例论证做的好，例子切合论点。