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[活动] 3.1作文互改 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-1 17:16:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 melo 于 2010-3-1 18:00 编辑

It is since ancient time women have been driven crazy by fancy decorations and flourishing clothes. They are even more affected by the surrounding opinion than ever before that boomed face surgery. To my point of view, it is a huge waste of resource and time to chase such illusionary dreams over realistic thinking of good ideas to achieve goals.

To start with, good ideas are more logical than outlooks. To be successful in some area, one should be much more intelligent than only be aware of the fashion. For an instance, when
a department of a school want a secretary, it will first to be the skills that they are looking for, let say typing or writing, to achieve the job, but for the faces that makes the boss pleasant everyday. When thinking about famous person like Einstein , he is famous for his unique smartness and elaborate hard working, which is only be remembered by his enormous hair cut.

   

Another reason is that good ideas composed the fundamental thing of our civilization. Human-beings have been dramatically developed in the 20th century because of the inventions in computer science, biology, engineering etc.. Which means may be hundreds of good ideas improved the current theories or technologies a little bit. Although pyramids are fantastic views of ancient Egypt, it had cost more than millions of people 's lives and crazy ideas to be build up. So the good ideas are the foundation of us.

Although better looks and dresses help people to be more confident and rememberable in work. It is rarely required by the companies. In most of the areas it is even sound ridiculous to attract boss or co-workers by one's face.

After all, good ideas is more likely to be the key of succeed at most scenes. No one could say it is a good idea to not be sharp-headed but only be tasteful in appearance.

谢谢了
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IBT Zeal

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发表于 2010-3-1 23:06:16 |只看该作者
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发表于 2010-3-2 18:00:24 |只看该作者
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发表于 2010-3-11 13:36:13 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 melo 于 2010-3-11 13:41 编辑

3.11 作文互改 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.

People has been talking about new ways to live our lives since recent years. They are starting to consider more leisure activities than any time before. There are so many tourist communities on the internet too. To my inclination, I may choose to be one of the tourist rather than staying at home watching old TV programs to save money.

At the first place,in consideration of the mental health, we should give ourselves a break in vocation. In the nowaday's pace competition in work, most of the office staffs or even the entrepreneurs have to contribute much more than they do before to have a luxury and elegant life in big cities. So they are in tremendous pressure inprecedentedly. Consequently individuals should have entertainment rarely be able to do before, like traveling. Going to a totally exotic world or wild forrest may drag out of the tedious incidents in your familiar environment and free the body and mind. Especially this may result in a fresh mood to continue doing your work.

On the other hand, economically saving money is not really a good habit anyway. Our cities have not been changing so dramatically before, the cost of living in such big city goes with it. Last year there was an apartment worth about 800,000 RMB in Shanghai, several days before when I walk over and glanced the same one, it went right up to over 110,00 RMB now. Saving money means you spend more on the current life quality for the less in future.

Admittedly, contaminous is a good habit for us even today. In china, we have to reconsider about the medication fee, house holding fee etc. when we get old. However by improving the government welfare policies this problem may be better figured out. For a instance, people may never be able to save exactly the same amount of money he/she maight use in the future, so there is always some money wasted or left individually. The goverment can help us manage this money to keep sure we all get exactly how much we need.

To reach a conclution from all the above issues, enjoying the current life by travelling seem a much better solution on increasing the total benefits we may get than saving money.

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发表于 2010-3-12 08:45:52 |只看该作者
People has(have) been talking about new ways to live our lives since recent years. They are starting to consider more leisure activities than any time before. There are so many tourist communities on the internet too. To my inclination, I may choose to be one of the tourist rather than staying at home watching old TV programs to save money.

At the first place,in consideration of the mental health, we should give ourselves a break in vocation. In the nowaday's pace competition in work, most of the office staffs or even the entrepreneurs have to contribute much more than they do before to have a luxury and elegant life in big cities. So they are in tremendous pressure inprecedentedly. Consequently individuals should have entertainment rarely be able to do before,(感觉这句不是很顺,我觉得这样写较好,参考一下:Consequently individuals should have entertainment which they can rarely enjoy before. ) like traveling. Going to a totally exotic world or wild forrest may drag out of the tedious incidents in your familiar environment and free the body and mind. Especially this may result in a fresh mood to continue doing your work.

On the other hand, economically saving money is not really a good habit anyway. Our cities have not been changing so dramatically before, the cost of living in such big city goes with it. Last year there was an apartment worth about 800,000 RMB in Shanghai, several days before when I walk(ed) over and glanced the same one, it went right up to over 110,00 RMB now. Saving money means you spend more on the current life quality for the less in future.

Admittedly, contaminous(这个词啥意思?拼错了吧?) is a good habit for us even today. In china, we have to reconsider about the medication fee, house holding fee etc. when we get old. However by improving the government welfare policies this problem may be better figured out. For a instance, people may never be able to save exactly the same amount of money he/she maight(might) use in the future, so there is always some money wasted or left individually. The goverment can help us manage this(these) money to keep sure we all get exactly how much we need.(要表达的意思没看明白)

TO reach a conclution from all the above issues, enjoying the current life by travelling seem(s) a much better solution on increasing the total benefits we may get than saving money.

整体不错,注意一下小错误~

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发表于 2010-3-24 19:43:11 |只看该作者
3.24 permanent VS temporary

It has been well known that urbanization is a solution for the people in the country to live better, and for the government to administrate them conviniently. However, some people rejected to following such policy with the idea that, they have all their stuff and relationships in where they live now, and moving may lead to lost of their heritages. This sounds ridiculous that no matter when, their ancestors must had moved to the current place where they are living. And the property they currently have may put sand in the wheels of their future life.

Most of the people live constantly in certain place has smaller mind than the people who move a lot. Before the revolution of information industry when we built computers and internet, we barely know any thing about the world outside. So does the outsiders if they do not come to our place. Even like today, when we have the computer which provide a medium for this bounch of residants with images and sound to know the famous place, it is totally different with having a real experience of living the live in other place to feel what they really feel, see what they really see.

Another point is that more than half of the citizens in most of the country live in the county side. They receive relatively less education than the ones who live in metropolitans. The best schools of a country are built in capital city or economically developed cities. So to them, move to such cities, mean a better chance to reach the upper class of the society, get a better salary. Also, big city has large library, shopping malls and fundamental frastructure that supply a convenient life for their citizens. When ever you need some salt or landrary, you do not really need to take a bus which might cost you a hole day.

To be more specific, I was born in a relatively small city, and lived in the same place since i went to college. It was really a shock to me a little teenager at that time to see a tremendously developed place then instead of the other classmates who decided to live and work in this city, I choose to go around the world to have a look at what is more out there that I may have not seen before.

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发表于 2010-3-25 18:48:02 |只看该作者
3.24 permanent VS temporary
It has been well known that urbanization is a solution for the people in the country to live better, and for(这个and 可以去掉吧) the government to administrate them conviniently(convenniently). However, some people rejected to following such policy with the idea that, they have all their stuff and relationships in where they live now, and moving may lead to lost of their heritages. This sounds ridiculous that no matter when, their ancestors must had(have??) moved to the current place where they are living. And the property they currently have may put sand in the wheels of their future life./ A8 Z6 U- g# H$ r- Z

Most of the people live constantly in certain place has smaller mind(mind 能small?narrower ) than the people who move a lot. Before the revolution of information industry when we built (produce)computers and(develop) internet, we barely know any thinganything aboutconcerning the world outside. So does the outsiders if they do not come to our place. Even like(太CHINGLISH 了) today, when we have the computer which provide a medium for this bounch of residants with images and sound to know the famous place(such as louvre museum, the statu of liberty and so on), it is totally different with having a real experience of living the live in other place to feel what they really feel, see what they really see(这句话写的,没看懂。。尤其是前面的什么living the live). 2 t) O5 i* K" I' c7 G" z1 h) c
+ n  B/ m' }' u$ ]) u2 f
Another point is that more than half of the citizens in most of the country live in the country side. They receive relatively less education than the ones who live in metropolitans. The best schools of a country are built in capital city or economically developed cities. So to them, move(moving) to such cities, mean a better chance to reach the upper class of the society, get a better salary. Also, big city has large library, shopping malls and fundamental frastructure that supply a convenient life for their citizens. When ever you need some salt or landrary, you do not really need to take a bus which might cost you a hole day.
^; L+ s) ?1 M' ?8 l
To be more specific, I was born in a relatively small city, and lived in the same place since i went to college. It was really a shock to me a little teenager at that time to see a tremendously developed place then instead of the other classmates who decided to live and work in this city, I choose to go around the world to have a look at what is more out there that I may have not seen before(不对啊。。你写的也不是24号的作文,虽然说题目对了,但是。。。。你是不是写跑题了,如果说你前面的还在题上,那后两段完全就跟题目没有关系了).

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发表于 2010-3-25 21:08:08 |只看该作者
It has been well known that urbanization is a solution for the people in the country to live better, and for the government to administrate them conviniently (conveniently). However, some people rejected to following such policy with the idea that, they have all their stuff and relationships in where they live now, and moving may lead to lost of their heritages. This sounds ridiculous that no matter when, their ancestors must had moved to the current place where they are living(为什么用no matter when呀,不太明白). And the property they currently have may put sand(put sand是什么意思呢,可以改成be buried吧?) in (under) the wheels of their future life.

Most of the people live constantly in certain place has smaller mind than the people who move a lot. Before the revolution of information industry when we built (invented) computers and internet, we barely know anything about the world outside (without traveling). So does (do) the outsiders (foreigners), if they do not come to our place. Even like today, when we have the computer which provide a medium for this bounch of residants(conservative residents) with images and sound to know the famous place, it is totally different with having a real experience of living in other place to feel what they really feel, see what they really see.

Another point is that more than half of the citizens(civilians) in most of the country live in the county side. They receive relatively less education than the ones who live in metropolitans. The best schools of a country are built in capital city or economically developed cities. So to them, move to such cities, mean a better chance to reach the upper class of the society, get a better salary. Also, big city has large library, shopping malls and fundamental frastructure that supply a convenient life for their citizens. Whenever you need some salt or landrary, you do not really need to take a bus which might cost you a hole day.((这段怎么像是些城市化的好处呢,有点跑题吧~).

To be more specific, I was born in a relatively small city, and lived in the same place since(until) i went to college. It was really a shock to me a little teenager at that time to see a tremendously developed place then instead of the other classmates who decided to live and work in this city, I choose to go around the world to have a look at what is more out there that I may have not seen before.(这段看着没有收尾的意思呀,有点不符合托福作文的套路诶,其实最初把题目立意定在写城市和乡村就有点曲解题目的意思了,呵呵,所以LZ再理下思路比较好~)

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RE: 3.1作文互改 [修改]

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