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[a习作temp] [big fish] 3月10日 ARGUMENT188 by wowoyuweiwei [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-10 11:44:00 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
The author suggests that doctors should take it into considerations for the differences between men and women from a survey. In this survey, the researchers used a certain kind of painkiller treating who were just having their wisdom teeth extracted. The women in it said they did not feel that hurt like men and it took less time to ease the pain. Therefore, the kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever they feel painful. Considering men, it is better for them to change for a another kind. Furthermore, researchers should reevaluate all medications' effects. At the first glance, it seems well-reasoned. However, when I thought about it twice, I found it was not logical at all.
Firstly, these 28 men and 20 women may not be representitive. They were all probably the old persons. For this reason, the result from this survey failed to convince us. For example, the author said that the women felt less pain than  men. But what if the heallth conditions were not same at the beginning? All of the male are old and weak, whose body were very weak compared with the females' whose are stronger and healther. Therefore, definately, the women did not hurt badly. The time to recover was also unwarrented like the feelings.
Secondly, even if kappa opioids treat women well, it still should not be taken in  every situation. In our common sense, no medication can cure all the illness or decrease all kinds of the pain. So, it is not reasonable to use it widely. Perhaps there is another kind pain which can not be cure by kappa opioids and  the health condition of patients may get worse by the negative effect.
Thirdly, in my perspective, it is not necessary for researchers to examine the effects of all medicine. Maybe the situation in this survey is a special one as we can see it is for the teeth extraction. In other fields, this difference might be not serious or even there is nothing different between two sexes.
In summary, to bolster the idea, the writer should give evidence to show that the survey demonstrate above can represent the whole conditions of the respondents like different ages and different live environments. Then, he or she needs to convince readers why it is better to use the kappa opioids in every situation for women and change to different kinds of medicine for men. To the best, it is still necessary to demonstrate the reason for the entire examination of the effects of all medications on men versus women.
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发表于 2010-3-12 01:05:55 |只看该作者
1# wowoyuweiwei
The author suggests that doctors should take it into considerations for the differences between men and women from a survey. In this survey, the researchers used a certain kind of painkiller treating who were just having their wisdom teeth extracted. The women in it said they did not feel that hurt like men and it took less time to ease the pain. Therefore, the kappa opioids should be prescribed for women whenever they feel painful. Considering men, it is better for them to change for a(a删掉) another kind. Furthermore, researchers should reevaluate all medications' effects. At the first glance, it seems well-reasoned. However, when I thought about it twice, I found it was not logical at all.
对于题目的复述过多,简单把前提和谬误提一下就好


Firstly, these 28 men and 20 women may not be representitive
representative)这句话太生硬太简单了吧. They were all probably the old persons. For this reason, the result from this survey failed to convince us. For example, the author said that the women felt less pain than men. But what if the heallthhealth conditions were not same at the beginning? All of the male are old and weak, whose body were very weak compared with the females' whose are stronger and healther(healthier). Therefore, definately(definitely), the women did not hurt badly. The time to recover was also unwarrented(unwarranted) like the feelings.

Secondly, even if kappa opioids treat women well, it still should not be taken in every situation. In our common sense, no medication can cure all the illness or decrease all kinds of the pain. So, it is not reasonable to use it widely. Perhaps there is another kind pain which can not be cure by kappa opioids and the health condition of patients may get worse by the negative effect.
这段太少了吧。。。

Thirdly, in my perspective, it is not necessary for researchers to examine the effects of all medicine. Maybe the situation in this survey is a special one as we can see it is for the teeth extraction. In other fields, this difference might be not serious or even there is nothing different between two sexes.
这段也有些少了吧。。。

In summary, to bolster the idea, the writer should give evidences to show that the survey demonstrate above can represent the whole conditions of the respondents like different ages and different live environments. Then, he or she needs to convince readers why it is better to use the kappa opioids in every situation for women and change to different kinds of medicine for men. To the best, it is still necessary to demonstrate the reason for the entire examination of the effects of all medications on men versus women.

每段直接空一行(在练习和考试中都是)
应该中间的部分多一些,开头结尾简单清晰就好。你开头和结尾比正文部分还多,不太好吧

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RE: [big fish] 3月10日 ARGUMENT188 by wowoyuweiwei [修改]

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[big fish] 3月10日 ARGUMENT188 by wowoyuweiwei
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1069326-1-1.html
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