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[i习作temp] 【Big Fish】03月16日Issue207--By FF [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-16 22:37:18 |显示全部楼层
题目:ISSUE207 - "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."


When I was a student in a middle school, at the beginning of a new term, there would perform a ceremony at which the principal would formally announce the list of students who had an excellent performance in the final exam of the last term. Anyone who was in the list would have a sense of honor. That is a culture of middle-school students. From my perspective, to some extent, rituals and ceremonies have an impulse to define a culture of a sense of societies or groups for people.

To begin with, it seems to be worthy of discussing the concept of rituals and ceremonies. A famous sociologist, Robert Bella, once said:"Rituals, in my view, are a series of actions, performing as a ceremony according to a prescribed order, and always thought to have symbolic value of a religion or Church, while ceremonies are a set of acts performed according to a traditional or prescribed form." No matter what they are according to, there is no doubt that rituals and ceremonies have an important effect on people who take part in them, and that they help form a culture of something in the upper ten or what else. As such a form, rituals and ceremonies play an positive role in defining a culture.

Since humans are gregarious groups in society, rituals and ceremonies provide them an approach to the individual dimensions of worship and reverence and to self-affirmation. As my experience referred at the beginning of this article, students become more and more positive on their study in order to get such an honor in such a glittering ceremony. For adults, different from students, ceremonies are such a place or form that the existence and value of one's individual self would be recognized and asserted by others, which is a symbol of honor, while, for one who has a religion, rituals are a sort of sacred ceremonies. For example, during the middle century in Europe, all cavaliers should be named only after some ceremonies, which has become a kind of culture called the spirit of cavaliers. Thus, whoever they are, rituals or ceremonies help set a culture of their worship. Aside from a sense of honor, it is a way to communicate, express, and reinforce the shared values and beliefs of a society. Especially in the upper social classes, it is a proper occasion to have various conversations with people in diverse fields.

I concede that lacking rituals and ceremonies which help define a culture, a sense of who one is would gradually diminish to some extent. Admittedly, there are various other forms to establish a sense of societies or groups for people. Rituals and ceremonies are not the only way for people to form such a sense. On the contrary, helping preserving cultural identity is not the only purpose of rituals and ceremonies.

In summary, I agree with the speaker's assertion that rituals and ceremonies contribute to the definition of a culture, while it is not the only choice for both two.

PS:结尾实在是枯竭了,拍文的童鞋有什么好建议,欢迎交流哈^_^

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发表于 2010-3-17 23:52:23 |显示全部楼层
题目:ISSUE207 - "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."


When I was a student in a middle school, at the beginning of a new term, there would perform a ceremony at which the principal would formally announce the list of students who had an excellent performance in the final exam of the last term. Anyone who was in the list would have a sense of honor. That is a culture of middle-school students.(从这句转下去有些生硬) From my perspective, to some extent, rituals and ceremonies have an impulse to define a culture of a sense of societies or groups for people.

To begin with, it seems to be worthy of discussing the concept of rituals and ceremonies. A famous sociologist, Robert Bella, once said:"Rituals, in my view, are a series of actions, performing as a ceremony according to a prescribed order, and always thought to have symbolic value of a religion or Church, while ceremonies are a set of acts performed according to a traditional or prescribed form." No matter what they are according to, there is no doubt that rituals and ceremonies have an important effect on people who take part in them, and that they help form a culture of something in the upper ten or what else. As such a form, rituals and ceremonies play an positive role in defining a culture.

Since humans are gregarious groups in society, rituals and ceremonies provide them an approach to the individual dimensions of worship and reverence and to self-affirmation. As my experience referred at the beginning of this article, students become more and more positive on their study in order to get such an honor in such a glittering ceremony. For adults, different from students, ceremonies are such a place or form that the existence and value of one's individual self would be recognized and asserted by others, which is a symbol of honor, while, for one who has a religion, (前面逗号太多了点,while--->however)rituals are a sort of sacred ceremonies. For example, during the middle century in Europe, all cavaliers should be named only after some ceremonies, which has become a kind of culture called the spirit of cavaliers.(这个例子不错~~) Thus, whoever they are, rituals or ceremonies help set a culture of their worship. Aside from a sense of honor, it is a way to communicate, express, and reinforce the shared values and beliefs of a society. Especially in the upper social classes, it is a proper occasion to have various conversations with people in diverse fields.

I concede that lacking rituals and ceremonies which help define a culture, a sense of who one is would gradually diminish to some extent. Admittedly, there are various other forms to establish a sense of societies or groups for people. Rituals and ceremonies are not the only way for people to form such a sense.(在这个后面可以来个例子~,要不然dimished sense论据不够) On the contrary, helping preserving cultural identity is not the only purpose of rituals and ceremonies.

In summary, I agree with the speaker's assertion that rituals and ceremonies contribute to the definition of a culture, while it is not the only choice for both two.



总的来说写的不错啊,就是为什么会有diminished sense 再多论证论证~

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发表于 2010-3-17 23:56:29 |显示全部楼层
In summary, I agree with the speaker's assertion that rituals and ceremonies contribute to the definition of a culture, while it is not the only choice.  Without ceremonies, people probably  cannot obtain a sense of honor and may have less opptunities to communicate with others, thus, causing dimished sense of who they are

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发表于 2010-3-17 23:56:56 |显示全部楼层
个人一点拙见

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发表于 2010-3-18 17:45:29 |显示全部楼层
题目:ISSUE207 - "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."


When I was a student in a middle school, at the beginning of a new term, there would perform a ceremony at which the principal would formally announce the list of students who had an excellent performance in the final exam of the last term. Anyone who was in the list would have a sense of honor. That is a culture of middle-school students. From my perspective, to some extent, rituals and ceremonies have an impulse to define a culture of a sense of societies or groups for people.
开头段首先介绍背景知识,有自己的特点;但在叙述自己观点时可以再详尽些。

To begin with, it seems to be worthy of discussing the concept of rituals and ceremonies. A famous sociologist, Robert Bella, once said: "Rituals, in my view, are a series of actions, performing as a ceremony according to a prescribed order, and always thought to have symbolic value of a religion or Church, while ceremonies are a set of acts performed according to a traditional or prescribed form." No matter what they are according to, there is no doubt that rituals and ceremonies have an important effect on people who take part in them, and that they help form a culture of something in the upper ten or what else. As such a form, rituals and ceremonies play a positive role in defining a culture.
这段可以论证再充分些,虽然引证了名句,但还是要阐述清楚为什么礼节是重要的?多问自己几个为什么,so-why.

Since humans are gregarious groups in society, rituals and ceremonies provide them an approach to the individual dimensions of worship and reverence and to self-affirmation. As my experience referred at the beginning of this article, students become more and more positive on their study in order to get such an honor in such a glittering ceremony. For adults, different from students, ceremonies are such a place or form that the existence and value of one's individual self would be recognized and asserted by others, which is a symbol of honor, while, for one who has a religion, rituals are a sort of sacred ceremonies. For example, during the middle century in Europe, all cavaliers should be named only after some ceremonies, which have become a kind of culture called the spirit of cavaliers. Thus, whoever they are, rituals or ceremonies help set a culture of their worship. Aside from a sense of honor, it is a way to communicate, express, and reinforce the shared values and beliefs of a society. Especially in the upper social classes, it is a proper occasion to have various conversations with people in diverse fields.
这段很不错啊

I concede that lacking rituals and ceremonies which help define a culture, a sense of who one is would gradually diminish to some extent. Admittedly, there are various other forms to establish a sense of societies or groups for people. Rituals and ceremonies are not the only way for people to form such a sense.
还有哪些具体的途径呢??可以简单描述下On the contrary, helping preserving cultural identity is not the only purpose of rituals and ceremonies.

In summary, I agree with the speaker's assertion that rituals and ceremonies contribute to the definition of a culture, while it is not the only choice for both two.
最后一段主要是总结全文,再次点明自己观点。再总结下自己的论据。Tip: 逆否结尾很不错哦,可以试试。

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发表于 2010-3-18 19:42:21 |显示全部楼层
What is the relationship between Paragraph 1 and Paragraph 2?
The relationship between paragraphs seems too weak. You should think about it.
The third paragraph teaches me a lot. Thanks.

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RE: 【Big Fish】03月16日Issue207--By FF [修改]

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