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monicaycyUID: 2714770

People can benefit more from traveling in their owncountry than traveling to foreign countries.

As faras I know, large amount of people go abroad for travelling today since thetransportation become more efficient and convenient. For travelling abroad,people can not only experience the different culture about their styles ofclothing or cooking, but can also find chances for business by the differentmethod. Those advantages above can not appear by travelling in one’s owncountry, so I can hardly agree with the mind in topic.

Tobegin with, people can know the foreign country precisely only by travellingthere themselves. Because the medias in your own country are limited and eventhe internet search energy, google, may not let people feel as they were righton the scene. Just like most of the people in the world, I always interested intasting a culture which is totally different from mine. When I’m a juniorschool student, I learned that fish and chip is the most famous snack in Britain.But even now I can not imagine how can these simple food so popular in theircountry? Because these two things seems not match in my country. Maybe the onlyway that I can find the answer is go there by myself one day.

Secondly,people like me who may in the faculty of business can benefit a lot bytravelling to foreign countries. I know so many young millionaires who absorbnew special idea from the foreign company and found their own business in theirown country. Like BaiDu, copy Google’s mode, being the dominate search energyin China. It’s a kind of half-breed, mix in the native customs which becomesuitable to the native users. So, unless we travel abroad, we can never learnnew technics and managing ways indeed.

Nevertheless,some people may doubt what I am talking above. Because travel is travel, it isjust a way to release oneself away from the noisy society. It’s no connect withthe distance or the cost. But those people fail to realized that you havealready spend the same money and time, why don’t let it gains its best value?(没有想到更好的理由说明travel is travel, it is just a way to release oneself away from thenoisy society.这句话不全面)

Insum, even most of the information I have about foreign countries has been frommagazines and TV programs. I really hope to travel abroad one day and I believethis can enrich my knowledge and helps me find a new world outside.

宇宙婴儿UID: 2631584

People can benefit more from traveling in their owncountry than traveling to foreign countries./ p& s1 i& K$ T( x) C
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As faras I know, large amount of people go abroad for travelling today since thetransportation become（becomes） more efficient and convenient. For travelling abroad,people can not only experience the different culture about their styles ofclothing or cooking, but can also find chances for business by the differentmethod（这种说法有点费解）. Those advantages above can not appear by（when） travelling in one’s owncountry, so I can hardly agree with the mind in topic.（感觉这种说法也有点奇怪）*（） L8 H2 b0 Z4 o  o: Z# D: C
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Tobegin with, people can know the foreign country precisely only by travellingthere themselves. Because the medias in your own country are limited and eventhe internet search energy, google, may not let people feel as they were righton the scene. Just like most of the people in the world, I am always interested intasting a culture which is totally different from mine. When I’m a juniorschool student, I learned that fish and chip（potato chips。Chip可以使很多种片，更多指芯片） is the most famous snack in Britain.But even now I can not imagine how can these simple food so popular in theircountry? Because these two things seems not match in my country. Maybe the onlyway that I can find the answer is go there by myself one day.+ n4 w" B- t4 X+ V7 P
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Secondly,people like me who may in the faculty of business can benefit a lot bytravelling to foreign countries. I know so many young millionaires who absorbnew special idea from the foreign company and found their own business in theirown country. Like BaiDu, copy（copying） Google’s mode, being（became） the dominate search energyin China. It’s a kind of half-breed, mix in the native customs which becomesuitable to the native users. So, unless we travel abroad, we can never learnnew technics and managing ways indeed.! q1 P% d8 ?, h5 c9 a$ F) [

& l) ~+ J' j2 u6 M9 S( r6 JNevertheless,some people may doubt what I am talking above. Because travel is travel, it isjust a way to release oneself away from the noisy society. It’s no connect withthe distance or the cost. But those people fail to realized that you havealready spend the same money and time, why don’t let it gains its best value?(没有想到更好的理由说明travel is travel, it is just a way to release oneself away from thenoisy society.这句话不全面)  W# c0 b" x4 F1 e! y5 ]9 \! s4 ^
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Insum, even most of the information I have about foreign countries has been frommagazines and TV programs. I really hope to travel abroad one day and I believethis can enrich my knowledge and helps me find a new world outside.

意思可以看懂，条理还算可以，但是总觉得语言有点Chinglish，建议多读一些原版的英语文章，培养一下语感。
另外，总觉得最后一段没有概括全面，似乎只总结了第一个论点。