【Flyer杀G作文组】Jun 24th-Issue130-By CC

师大菜菜UID: 2838404

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 683
TIME: ….
DATE: 2010-6-24 下午 04:29:48

How to raise children and make them social, this is an important issue which should be concerned not only by teachers but also by parents even the whole society. I agree with the speaker's opinion that we have not found a definite answer to this question. However, we should be positive at it because the progress of society has never stopped as yet.

To begin with, socialization defined as converting and meeting the social needs, plays an important role in modern life. With the development of society, more and more projects need to be finished by a great of people who should cooperate with each other. Children are the masters of the world in the future. After graduating, they will have to work and live directly with other social members. If they are not socialized enough they may find it is difficult to live and work in the society. At present, the word "OTAKU" is very popular, which represents a group of people who don't like take any social activity, but just stay at home to play video games, watching animation and so on. Those people are a reverse example illustrates that how socialization of children is important for our society. Therefore, how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society indeed.

However, raising children to bring about a better society is a complicated problem for the reason that the perfect society is so abstract that we ourselves cannot draw a clear picture of it. What we know is just some individual features about it such as democracy, justice, open etc. But how can we combine them effectively? The principles we think meaningful are still in the future? Take using Internet for example, at beginning, children were told by parents and teachers that surfing the net is just wasting time. However, the truth proves that today Internet is one of the fastest approaches to get information, using it to get information effectively is a fundamental skill at present. This is a simple example, but we can replace the attitude we hold to Internet by other principles we advocate today, can we make sure that the principle we teach our children are right and suitable in the future. Even we cannot have a thorough understanding about the society, how can we educate our children facing such a complicated problem.

In addition, unlike math physics or literature, the course named socialization cannot be learned by writing the principle on the notebook and taking some exercises. Raising children's socialization is a long process, which need not only the influence of teacher and parents but also the practices of children in the society. The necessary way to be socialized for children is enter society and encounter to all kinds of persons and things, good or bad. Then they will lay their own outlook of the value and the world. But meanwhile, this is not a way follow traditional education's control. So we cannot have a definite scheme to treat it.


Although the task of making children social seems beyond our ability as present above, we should stay positive toward it. Firstly, we can teach them some fundamental rules to help them construct social responsibility. For examples, tell them not to destroy the public properties, tell them if they don't want to do something never force others to do. Even if some special situation of future is never met by us, those fundamental rules still make sense. Secondly, children never live in a separated environment. They live with other contemporaries at school, as well live with their parents with their parents. They can learn how to communicate with others and gaining sense of cooperation unconsciously. Therefore, we don't too pessimistic about the future.


To sum up, socialization is a determining factor for children who will build out world in the future. It's hard to give a definite scheme to raise children to be socialized. But we should believe that just as we can build a society which is better than our predecessors, our children will also be able to do it, while we should do our best to help them.


心得：

50分钟写了，339个字，后面写得就比较慢了。
   还是坚持背范文，列提纲，找例子。例子多了，就一切都好说。
   争取吧，下一篇issue 争取1:00小时完成。
   有些论证感觉好牵强，现在还停留在语言改善阶段。

柏拉图的世界UID: 2581296

1# 师大菜菜
TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 683
TIME: ….
DATE: 2010-6-24 下午 04:29:48

How to raise children and make them social, this is an important issue which should be concerned not only by teachers but also by parents [and] even the whole society. I agree with the speaker's opinion that we have not found a definite answer to this question. However, we should be positive at it because the progress of society has never stopped as yet.

To begin with, socialization defined as converting and meeting the social needs, plays an important role in modern life. With the development of society, more and more projects need to be finished by a great of people who should cooperate with each other. Children are the masters of the world in the future. After graduating, they will have to work and live directly with other social members. If they are not socialized enough they may find it <is> difficult to live and work in the society. At present, the word "OTAKU" is very popular, which represents a group of people who don't like take any social activity, but just stay at home to play video games, <watching>[watch] animation and so on. Those people are a reverse example <illustrates>[illustrating] <that> how socialization of children is important for our society. Therefore, how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society indeed. [这个例子是不太好。首先，没能说明OTAKU不与社会接触的具体恶果，仅仅是在家打游戏看动画似乎不够。其次，最后一句说determines社会的命运，显得有点大了，例子没能反映出这么严重的问题。]

However, raising children to bring about a better society is a complicated problem for the reason that the perfect society is so abstract that we ourselves cannot draw a clear picture of it. What we know is just some individual features about it such as democracy, justice, open etc. But how can we combine them effectively? The principles we think meaningful are still in the future? Take using Internet for example, at beginning, children were told by parents and teachers that surfing the net is just wasting time. However, the truth proves that today Internet is one of the fastest approaches to get information, using it to get information effectively is a fundamental skill at present. This is a simple example, but we can replace the attitude we hold to Internet by other principles we advocate today, can we make sure that the principle we teach our children are right and suitable in the future. Even we cannot have a thorough understanding about the society, how can we educate our children facing such a complicated problem.

In addition, unlike math[s,] physics or literature, the course named socialization cannot be learned by writing the principle on the notebook and taking some exercises. Raising children's socialization is a long process, which need not only the influence of teacher and parents but also the practices of children in the society. The necessary way to be socialized for children is enter society and encounter to all kinds of persons and things, good or bad. Then they will lay their own outlook of the value and the world. But meanwhile, this is not a way follow traditional education's control. So we cannot have a definite scheme to treat it. [这两段好。一个从better world本身的不确定，一个从儿童社会化教育的复杂性来说明实现儿童社会化的有效途径是困难的。]

Although the task of making children social seems beyond our ability as present above, we should stay positive toward it. Firstly, we can teach them some fundamental rules to help them construct social responsibility. For examples, tell them not to destroy the public properties, tell them if they don't want to do something never force others to do. Even if some special situation of future is never met by us, those fundamental rules still make sense. Secondly, children never live in a separated environment. They live with other contemporaries at school, as well live with their parents with their parents. They can learn how to communicate with others and gaining sense of cooperation unconsciously. Therefore, we don't too pessimistic about the future.


To sum up, socialization is a determining factor for children who will build out world in the future. It's hard to give a definite scheme to raise children to be socialized. But we should believe that just as we can build a society which is better than our predecessors, our children will also be able to do it, while we should do our best to help them. [我个人建议，不要在最后一段提出新的观点。比如说"as we can build a society which is better than our predecessors, our children will also be able to do it"，在前文并没有对这一判定进行什么论证。]

To conclude,
写的挺好，值得我门学习和借鉴。
论证的逻辑蛮清晰的，观点支撑也比较充分。
只是例子略显单薄和牵强。

师大菜菜UID: 2838404

2# 柏拉图的世界
非常感谢，我会重新整理我的例子。
Ps: math 与 maths都可以