【Flyer杀G作文组】7月2日Argument110-By candygege

candygegeUID: 2792059

110. The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.
"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."
难度：★★★★

WORDS: 417          TIME: 01:10:00          DATE: 2010/7/2 18:19:25

The argument contains several facets that are questionable. First, the argument assumes a correlation amounts to a causal relationship. In addition, the stated study is just a special example that cannot result in the general conclusion fitting for other schools. As follows, I will discuss these facets in turn.
   The argument assumes that the correlation between the lighting and the falling attendance rates, the decrease of the average daily class participation, the declined grades and the increased teacher resignations means that lack of lighting causes the facts we have mentioned above. But the argument fails to examine alternative explanations and provide sufficient evidence to support this conclusion. For example, the period of time is special. During December and January, there are many festivals, like Christmas and New Year, and students probably pay less attention on their study. All of them plan for the impending vacation, as a result, the attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. In addition, this period is also an end of the semester, which is a good time for teachers to thoroughly consider about their own careers. Thus, the increase of teachers resignations is not surprised to us. Futhermore, the cold weather will also influence the attendance, and the more difficult in examinations leads a less marks. Even the social situation, like the economy crisis, will effects the teachers decision about their job.
   In evaluating the evidence of the study, one must consider the particular sample. These two schools states in different situations. Students in the Tundra Vocational School, which experience entire seasons with little daylight, are excited and easily promoted by the Day Glow light bulbs lighting. Contrarily, the students in Sherwood which only have two months from December to January lack of enough sunlight, their desires for light is not as strong as the Tundra Vovational School ones, then, the results may be overthrowed entirely. What's more, the study does not contain any evidence for the reflection about teachers. And then, the conclusion that improving teachers' morale lacks of a so-called support.
   To sum up, the light probably make people happy after a long time dark or rainy, but this argument, while it seems logical at first, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by excluding other influencing evidences as we have mentioned above that the correlation is indeed a causal relationship, or improving more proofs to support the conclusion that the using lighting can improving the student academic performance and teacher morale.

红绡UID: 2839171

1# candygege
The argument contains several facets that are questionable. First, the argument assumes a correlation amounts to a causal relationship. In addition, the stated study is just a special example that cannot result in the general conclusion fitting for other schools. As follows, I will discuss these facets in turn.
   The argument assumes that the correlation between the lighting and the falling attendance rates, the decrease of the average daily class participation, the declined grades and the increased teacher resignations means that lack of lighting causes the facts we have mentioned above.（句子杂糅）But the argument fails to examine alternative explanations and provide sufficient evidence to support this conclusion. For example, the period of time is special（the period / the season）. During December and January, there are many festivals, like Christmas and New Year, and students probably pay less attention on their study. All of them plan for the impending vacation, as a result, the attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. In addition, this period is also an end of the semester, which is a good time for teachers to thoroughly consider about their own careers. Thus, the increase of teachers resignations is not surprised to us. Furthermore, the cold weather (不用特指)will also influence the attendance, and the more difficult(difficulty) in examinations leads
a less marks. Even the social situation, like the economy crisis, will affect the teachers’ decision about their job.
   In evaluating the evidence of the study, one must consider the particular sample (the particularity of the samples). These two schools states in different situations. Students in the Tundra Vocational School, which experience entire seasons with little daylight, are excited and easily promoted by the Day Glow light bulbs lighting. Contrarily, the students in Sherwood which only have two months from December to January lack of enough sunlight, their desires for light is not as strong as the Tundra Vovational School ones, then, the results may be overthrown entirely. What's more, the study does not contain any evidence for the reflection about teachers. And then, the conclusion that improving teachers' morale lacks of a so-called support.(the conclusion about improving teachers’ morale…)
   To sum up, the light probably make people happy after a long time dark or rainy, but this argument, while it seems logical at first(说反了吧？while it seems lack of logic at first), has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by excluding other influencing evidences as we have mentioned above that the correlation is indeed a causal relationship, or improving （providing）more proofs to support the conclusion that the (无需特指)using lighting can improving （动词原形：improve）the student academic performance and teacher morale.
注意语法。