【Flyer杀G作文组】7.10-Argument109-By CC

师大菜菜UID: 2838404

TOPIC: ARGUMENT109 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Maple City newspaper.

"Twenty years ago Pine City established strict laws designed to limit the number of new buildings that could be constructed in the city. Since that time the average housing prices in Pine City have increased considerably. Chestnut City, which is about the same size as Pine City, has over the past twenty years experienced an increase in average housing prices similar to Pine City, but Chestnut City never established any laws that limit new building construction. So it is clear that laws limiting new construction have no effect on average housing prices. So if Maple City were to establish strict laws that limit new building construction, these laws will have no effect on average housing prices."
WORDS:504
TIME: ….
DATE: 2010/7/10 16:25:29

The speaker concludes that laws limiting new building construction will have no effect on average housing prices in Maple City (MC).
To support the conclusion, the argument cites a survey about the average housing prices of Pine City (PC) and Chestnut City (CC) over the past twenty years. However, after carefully analyzing the argument, I find it suffers many logical fallacies which I will discuss as follow.

To begin with, it is arbitrary to conclude that laws limiting construction have no effect on average housing prices according to comparison between the average housing prices of PC and CC. The comparison between the average housing prices of PC and CC cannot lend any support to the conclusion. It is possible that the increase of average housing prices in PC dues to the carrying on the laws, but it is because of other factors such as economic development. As a result, the two cities have similar situations. In this case, how can the author conclude that laws limiting construction have no effect on average housing prices? The situation of PC is just an exception. The author fails to take into account the possibility, so his conclusion is unconvincing.

What’s more, even if I accept that laws limiting construction have no effect on average housing prices in PC and CC, but it is unpersuasive that the rule holds true in all cities because the conclusion is broadly about thousands of cities but only based on the survey of two cities. It is possible that the economy of the two cities is undeveloped. There are little people constructing new buildings in the two cities. However, the situations will not take place in other cities. The author fails to rule out the possibility, his conclusion is unpersuasive.

At last, even if it makes sense about the situation of twenty year ago that laws limiting construction have no effect on average housing prices, but author cannot ensure that it can be applied to MC today. With the time flies, the situation of society will be changed. No one can ensure the conclusion which is based on the survey about the average housing prices of twenty years ago can be applied in today. It is possible that the population is small twenty years ago, and little people built new constructions. Therefore twenty years ago the laws limiting construction have no effect on average housing prices. But the population has grown for a long time and more and more people want to build new construction, so today the laws will influence the average housing prices. The only time author can claim that the conclusion still holds true when he or she proves that the situation twenty years ago is similar to it today.

In conclusion, the argument is not unexceptional and convincing one. To strengthen it, the arguer should provide more evidence to prove that laws limiting new construction have no effect on average housing prices, and the arguer also need to prove it makes senses in MC and makes sense today.

第二段,第三段结尾语言是不是太像了,哪位同学能提点建议么 ?

旭日冰峰UID: 162275

你知道的单词很多，语法也不错，
我不知道你是不是参加过什么培训，但是有些表述感觉不是很自然，建议你多看看美国的报纸，比如NYtimes，CNN，Wall Street Journal，等等，你对美国人怎么表述会有个大概的了解
比如“However, after carefully analyzing the argument, I find it suffers many logical fallacies which I will discuss as follow.”你可以直接说成，this conclusion suffers many logical fallacies as analyzed below.
The author fails to take into account the possibility, so his conclusion is unconvincing.这句话应该把你要表述的结论性观点放在前面，this conclusion is unconvincing as the author fails to ...
It is possible that the increase of average housing prices in PC dues to the carrying on the laws, but it is because of other factors such as economic development. 这是个病句。
其实这篇文章开篇，你应该先分析导致房价的因素有哪些，再分析上述观点的局限性。另外还要说明，在其他参数不变的时候，上述表达也是正确的。
表达时，尽量多用动词，the increase of the average hoursing price was caused by...
写这些文章千万别凑字数，很好的组织你的分析理由才是的得高分的方法。