Issue221——小谦

谦行天下UID: 2797557

221"The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."

提纲：认为历史的作用不在于告诉人们：人类是不变的。人类的生活方式和观念一直在改变
1.心理历史学家从心理学的角度分析历史是不变的
2、但是，心理历史学家忽略了除人以外的影响历史的因素，如人类生活方式的改变
3、除了生活方式以外，人的观念也在发生着变化
4、即使是生活在一个时期的人们，不同国家的人们之间依然存在着变化
总结：不存在这个illusion

To reviser，不知道我有没有跑题~~可能又一点额~~~没有着重在历史的作用去写！

History which is regarded as the teacher of human lives and politics is always emphasized. Traditional historians narrate history answering these questions: 'what happened', "how did it happen " and "why did it happen？”. These questions which differ from event to event emphasize changes and development. But in the early of 19th centuries, there is a new branch of history called psychohistory, which answers the question "why did it happened" using psychological method. The method assimilates all the events, past and present to a signal law in psychology.

Psychohistorians who are committed to Freudian psychoanalysis focus on the individuals who made the history. They abandon all the other factors contributed to history, but using this or that incidence in a historic person's childhood to analyze history. Psychohistory simplify the complex individual events to human's signal determinism that is presumed to be true in all times and in all circumstances. Thus, it proves that people in one period of time are no different from people who lived at any other time in history.

However, it is partial to view history as psychohistorians do because a myriad of other factors contribute to the history, which makes people changes. After the invention of computer, the internet appeared and has dramatically changed our life style. The cavemen worn animal skin, wandered around to predate an animal to survive. People aggregated to form a city, lived in firm house safely. Nowadays people order food, date woman and work through internet that they do not even need walk out there home. These life style changes certainly changes the psycho world of human which shake the psychohistory.

Moreover, from the psychological insight, the faith and value in people's mind is changing, too. Due to the hard working of the churchman, the Christianism has spread from the western countries to China. It is not surprise to find a lot of Christians in Beijing, but now in those undeveloped small town I found a lot of farmers are loyal to the God. It is not hard to imagine the utter changes in people's mind. Take another example, the feminism which aimed at greater right and legal protection for women has proceed for more than one hundred years and has changed women's society status significantly. Thus, these examples show that people's thought are changing.

Not to mention people living in different time, their thought and live styles are changing. Even in the same period, people think and behave differently because of different culture. Chinese respect elder citizens but this respect is not obvious in western world. While people in USA promote the personal achievement, the Chinese use the Mean of Confucian as the criterion.

From all the analysis above, we can conclude that people are different in the history, in their live style and in their thought. The study of psychohistory which assimilates people in history to a simple mode by the Freudian psychohistory is untenable. The history is hardly to repeat.

一木菩提UID: 2390164

Issue221——小谦
本帖最后由 谦行天下 于 2010-8-7 13:07 编辑

221"The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."

提纲：认为历史的作用不在于告诉人们：人类是不变的。人类的生活方式和观念一直在改变
1.心理历史学家从心理学的角度分析历史是不变的
2、但是，心理历史学家忽略了除人以外的影响历史的因素，如人类生活方式的改变
3、除了生活方式以外，人的观念也在发生着变化
4、即使是生活在一个时期的人们，不同国家的人们之间依然存在着变化
总结：不存在这个illusion

To reviser，不知道我有没有跑题~~可能又一点额~~~没有着重在历史的作用去写！

History which is regarded as the teacher of human lives and politics->, regarded as the teacher of human lives and politics, is always emphasized by whom? . Traditional historians narrate history answering these questions: 'what happened', "how did it happen " and "why did it happen？”. These questions which differ from event to event emphasize changes and development. But in the early of 19th centuries, there is a new branch of history called psychohistory, which answers the question "why did it happened" using psychological method. The method assimilates all the events, past and present to a signal law in psychology.
这里你introduce 了一个概念，心理历史学家，首先顺着你的思路来。我觉得有2点要完善：
1在引入概念之前，就是these questions differ from event那句前后，最好把题目的讨论范围引出来：即通过历史研究，人到底变不变这个辩题要提出来。这样才能叫引入了问题。
2引入心理历史学家这个概念之后，需要明确提出你的总观点比较好，因为这毕竟是首段，而不是body。我比较欣赏开门见山，希望ETS也是如此，哈哈。

至于心理历史学家这个概念值不值得引入，文末我再分析，这里如果反对了你的整个论证就断了。

Psychohistorians who are committed to Freudian psychoanalysis focus on the 去掉好些 individuals who made the history. They abandon all the other factors contributed to history such as? 这里all other factors不明确, but using（use）   this or that incidence in a historic person's childhood to analyze history. Psychohistory simplify the complex individual events to human's signal determinism that is presumed to be true in all times and in all circumstances. Thus, it proves that people in one period of time are no different from people who lived at any other time in history. 这一段内部的问题是缺乏top sentence, 相信你不是想做科普说历史心理学家是什么。所以我建议你在本段首句前加一句你提纲里的那句话“心理历史学家从心理学的角度分析历史是不变的”

However, it is partial to view history as psychohistorians do because a myriad of other factors contribute to the history, which makes people changes. After the invention of computer, the internet appeared and has dramatically changed our life style. The cavemen worn animal skin, wandered around to predate an animal to survive. People aggregated to form a city, lived in firm house safely. Nowadays people order food, date woman and work through internet that they do not even need walk out there home. These life style changes certainly changes the psycho world of human which shake the psychohistory.

Moreover, from the psychological insight, the faith and value in people's mind is changing, too. Due to the hard working of the churchman, the Christianism has spread from the western countries to China. It is not surprise to find a lot of Christians in Beijing, but now in those undeveloped small town I found a lot of farmers are loyal to the God.这里只说明了有很多教堂，不过离你论证的思想变迁还是差一小步，可以加上一句，现在很多人虔诚地相信基督教和上帝，而很多年以前，他们却以为西方是一个野蛮的未开化的地带。这些年来，思想已经发生了巨大的变化云云。 It is not hard to imagine the utter changes in people's mind. Take another example, the feminism which aimed at greater right and legal protection for women has proceed for more than one hundred years and has changed women's society status significantly. Thus, these examples show that people's thought are changing.
  这一段你说明了people's thought are changing，要注意例证完了最好把例子和你的论点衔接起来，用一两局话套上去。即段中我提到的蓝色部分。

Not to mention people living in different time, their thought and live styles are changing. Even in the same period, people think and behave differently because of different culture. Chinese respect elder citizens but this respect is not obvious in western world. While people in USA promote the personal achievement, the Chinese use the Mean of Confucian as the criterion.

From all the analysis above, we can conclude that people are different in the history, in their live style and in their thought. The study of psychohistory which assimilates people in history to a simple mode by the Freudian psychohistory is untenable. The history is hardly to repeat.
  
  OK,顺着你的思路把文章扫了一遍。段内论证的小问题还是衔接: 1 首段最好摆出自己的观点 2 top sentence要直接表明意图，不要跳跃，到差一步的地方就不说了（body1）。3段内例子摆完了要分析，套到top sentence上去。不要简单的陈述一个例子+restate conclusion（body2）。这个你以后注意下。
   
下面我来谈谈全篇的布局。老实说我感觉你偏题了。
221"The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
一般一个issue题目，你可以理解成如下的形式 范围+attitude： 一个讨论的主体/范围/对象 加上题目本身对此的一个态度。
这里的范围就是"study of history"， 题目的attitude则是“people are the same during all historical period”
你在写的时候，态度可以随意，完全同意/完全反对/部分同意/分情况讨论/ 都行。
但是范畴不要超出它给定的，要从历史研究这个方向去展开--即我们研究历史的时候，得到的结论人在各个时期是否是一样的呢？这是我的看法。

其二，你引入心理历史学家的位置，我觉得有点突兀。原题的立场ppl are all alike in different historical periods并没有特指一群人。你引入这个概念 hmmm让我觉得有点白马非马的意思... 黑马是马 马是黑马 然后白马就不是马~
即故意把论断缩小到某一个范围，这样做不是不可以，偷换概念就是这样的，但是太明显了就会生硬。
或者你可以试着这么入题:
人们在各个历史时期是否是一样的呢？ 有些历史学家通过什么手法，利用什么技术，忽略了哪些因素，单纯从童年和心理角度去分析历史人物（把对心理历史学家的描述直接用上，而不直接引入这么个名词）最终得出了这样的结论。
不可否认这样的分析在其给定的前提下是合理的，然后他们却忽略了方面1，方面2（把你body3，4的point用上）；这两个因素导致事实上他们的结论不成立。人们在不同时期变化很大。balabalabala....