zhouchlcy的作文贴，作文不好，痛下决心改正，欢迎拍砖~

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

8.31 Writing 作业

09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

I have heard of many stories of talents. The most obvious commonplace is that they all own a free childrenhood. Needless to say, the creativity of hunman being comes from discovery to surrounding environments. My points of contention is that heavy budern on education is a constrain to younger school children.
A proverb is always heard that interesting is the best guider. Even the outstanding teacher is obliged to give a way to the children's nature of curiosity. Newton and Einsten both are the scientific gaint. However, they were considered as failers in school. As a child, the young Newton was addicted to construct wooden model.Just seeing his model, all people cannot predict his achievement in days. After all, a teacher only be able to teach a child something already exists. The turely infinite possibility is created by childern's imagination. At the same, the rigidly conventional recognations to reality unify children and sharp them to be standardize component of society.
Another problem cannot ignored is that competition will be involued in the so early phrase of children. It results from parents' attitude hoping their own child to approch success more early. This attitude gives no cause for much criticism. However, it is the attitude that becomes a obstacle which prevent children to freely express themselves. Needless to say, competition discourage kids to understand what the merits of them is. The shallow of failure may be accompanied with them all life, especially when they lack of sufficient preparations.
In sum up, owning relax children, we all may present an unpredicable potential. As it truns out, I strongly believe that not to be required to study so much subjects is suitable for school children. A better way is to guide them as the respects what they really are good at.

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

oooooo我的作文没人看

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

09.06.12NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.
For those college students, their indentification is not only a student, but also a adult who has the responsibility to afford their own life. Compared to those people who graduate from high school and directly approach to the society, university students like birds living in the cage still have a distance with the true independent life. Therefore, part-timme job is no doubtful a valueless opportunity to camulate the experience and learn more about future career. Indeed, I strongly believe that part-time job is necessary for college students.
Firstly, facing the decision to chose a life-long career, we all may feel confusion. whether the white-collar rountine is suitable for me? How to deal with the relationship with colleague? All those questions have to be find an answer in the practical part-time jobs. Needless to say, students can illustrate the imagination about their inclination of career, comparing with the threotical recognation in the context. Closely communication with senior employers provides with rules doesn't written in literature. Meanwhile, to recieve basic skill training will promote the competitivity of inexperience students. In this way, they can avoid to be considered as candidates who only have threoy knownlege but can not handle the practical works. The most important is that excellent undergraduates may obtain futher opportunity to be hired by recognazing the ability to their boss.
Secondly, in the phase of univerity, all of us may have implus to discover wilder territory. However, the prerequsition is indispensable funding. As a adult, it is an embrassed to ask for help of parents. Therefore, the salary of part-time job is allowance to our adventure trip. Through endevour by themselves, college students have less mental burden. Instead of it, the pride of achievement to indenpent live ocupies their mind.
In sum up, the merits of part-time jobs are manifest. Though some people may agrue that the job will distract students' attention to study, the deficiency is able to be made up by study more in leisure time. Compared to beneficence for future career, this tiny disadvanage can be ignored.

dailiangzhenUID: 2679058

I have heard of many stories of talents. The most obvious commonplace is that they all own a free childrenhood. Needless to say, the creativity of hunman being comes from discovery to surrounding environments. My points of contention is that heavy budern on education is a constrain to younger school children.
A proverb is always heard that interesting is the best guider. Even the outstanding teacher is obliged to give a way to the children's nature of curiosity. Newton and Einsten both are the scientific gaint. However, they were considered as failers in school. As a child, the young Newton was addicted to construct wooden model.Just seeing his model, all people cannot predict his achievement in days. After all, a teacher only be able to teach a child something already exists. The turely infinite possibility is created by childern's imagination. At the same, the rigidly conventional recognations to reality unify children and sharp them to be standardize component of society.
Another problem cannot ignored is that competition will be involued in the so early phrase of children. It results from parents' attitude hoping their own child to approch success more early. This attitude gives no cause for much criticism. However, it is the attitude that becomes a obstacle which prevent children to freely express themselves. Needless to say, competition discourage kids to understand what the merits of them is. The shallow of failure may be accompanied with them all life, especially when they lack of sufficient preparations.4 D" u) O  |& ]  c5 b
In sum up, owning relax children, we all may present an unpredicable potential. As it truns out, I strongly believe that not to be required to study so much subjects is suitable for school children. A better way is to guide them as the respects what they really are good at.

通篇看下来作者的主题很是新颖，思路也是明确的。
但是Supporting 能再扩展一点就更好。具体的语法恕我改不来。祝楼主，更上一层楼。

melodyfeelingsUID: 2855338

9.2
有一些笔误咯~ 架构不错~ 但是个别处用词有问题哇~比如 part-timme job is no doubtful a valueless opportunity to camulate the experience and learn more about future career。。。 这个valueless意思不大对哇。。还有一些形容词我觉得用的有点别扭哦~

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life
Regardless whether you agree, the reality is that a person's accomplishments has to be confirmed by other people. No matter who cannot live only by himself in nowadays. Recognation from other people especially influential people is no doubtful to be considered as a easy way to approch the success. Indeed, I strongly believe that, in some extention,the recognation from others is equvilent to successful life.
Firstly, for those people who makes a fame by themselves, it is indispensable to own an experience to appreciate by a figure. For instance, Jack Cheng is a movie star known by household. In TV problem, he recalled that he once stand out for long time at outside of a organization to greet a figure to obtain his recommandation. The strong willingness shocks the figure and finally Jack get the opportunity. The figure can pick him up from thounsands of unnoticeable actors for his special feature. It is the feature that dooms the Jack will differentiate from comtempory colleague and become outstanding one. In other word, the recognation is not given by the fortune,but by the endouver. What's more, the chance provided by the figure is a propulsion to the Jack's glory.
Secondly, the world is moving on. In fact, the media is a more accessible stage to ordinary people. Those people who never expect to be such a influential figure as Jack may present their ability through technical advance. Recently, the problems like American idol have been trend in China. In fact, it is a method to make ordinary people's dream come ture by introduce them to all the people. The success of those problems also prove that the connection between recognation from others and the successful life, though recognation is not from influential people. Their names are heard when you handed out. In region, those people may be as famous as some international star.
In sum up, we have to say that there is strong link between recognation and success. To know by others is necessary step to approach the success. Although some may agrue that it is not ture success, we cannot live in a tiny room constructed by ourselves.The pride of compliment brings us undescribable happiness.

nishuowosheiUID: 2843451

改好了~谢谢你的订正

dadafanUID: 2659273

查收

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

恩，两位改的作文，我都看了
多谢你们提的意见~
关于nishuowoshei提的意见，下回我会先自己修改后提交的

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

9.7 作业
里面有句话： Originating to care the happiness of children, parents also eager to make the choices for their children.
本意是：出于对。。。的关心，父母也热衷于。。。。
望指正

JeannenestaUID: 2456704

改好了，关于你自己解释的那句“Originating...”我没见过这种表达，也不代表没有，所以没有修改意见。

楼主加油~~~

zhouchlcyUID: 2847817

9.9 作业 by zhouchlcy

风起云落UID: 2833888

拼写错误我没改，要不然有点乱~
注意拼写啊~

风起云落UID: 2833888

发现了~
题目是 it is worth doing
你文章里worth 是用作形容词的 不一样
所以要用worthy

miaodiUID: 2613113

为成为寄托新兵而努力奋斗