我的托福作文。。欢迎大家狠批！！

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

09.05.30NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language


Everytime looking outside the windows of my dorm, I always see many students who are major in art writing rapidly and checking every page of their textbooks. At the same time, I wondered why they have to learn so many things in a short 3-year period. If it would be better if they learn them from an early age and keep the knowledge in mind so that they won't be this hard at this time? My answer would be absolutely!

As is known to all that the young children who are under ten have the amazing ability to accept new things and memorize them, which enable kids handle the problems easier. Learning from an early age may simply means listening to the stories that teachers told us about the history and watching pictures that teachers showed to tell the rules of adding. However, it is just these series of actions may affected children more or less and those pictures and music are high likely to be remembered unconsciously. Language speaking, which could be a best example at this point. We learned to talk at around age of 3, the most two common words that are first spoken by us are dad and mom, owing to their high frequency of being used in our daily life. We might be unable to figure out the true meaning of these two words but we just follow others until we finally know what those means. Similarly, kids often follow others, which help them develop a sense of music and logical at an early age.

Secondly, as an old adage goes "interest is the best teacher", learning at from an early age are more likely to exert an interest on certain subject or in certain field, according to a survey recently. Take myself for example, when I was 5, I was truly crazy about playing piano and fortunately I received a piano as a birthday gift and since then I began my piano career. After 7 years' playing, tired and busy as I was, I still deem it a routine of my daily life and ultimately made for my winning 3 piano rewards. That is to say, the interest that developed from an early age could be a lifelong habit rather than a implusive act.


Some opponents may point out that learning from an early age may keep the children from understanding correctely, however, just like an old chinese adverb goes "the chance to read a hundred times since its meaning is" ,which means that without reading in a row you wouldn't able to understand the meaning. Even if kids they can't read, their teachers and parents also can explain the meaning to them and only in this way can they understand and accept new things in an efficient way.
   

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

每天练一篇。。。


题目：when people succeed,it is because of hard work.Luck has nothing to do with success" Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above?Use specific reasons and examples to explain your idea



I used to believe that success has no components but hard work. After I watched a movie called <The pursue of happiness>, however, where a people who is cherishing by his boss, didn't attend university still got a great profession. Then I started being aware of the significance of luck.

It is undeniable that the hundred percent efforts are considered to be one of the essential factors such as ability, intelligence, on the road to the success. Just as the adage goes:" No pain, no gain". That is to say, If you do not pay for anything, then you gain nothing. Have you ever seen a person who has little ability but make a great achievement?

However, luck also accounts for an integral part of success. With the rapid fierce social competition, more and more people are draged into the abyss of unemployment, surprisingly, some of them are armed with high degree and working experience. On the other hand, employers who meet the right boss that appreciate their talents are more likely to achieve goals. For example, my cousin, who is an undergraduate student in Sichuan University, recently found a job at an international company, beating other 20 candidates, while 10 of them are graduate students. I wondered why at first, but later on I heard that it is because of the manager, who graduated from Sichuan University
,that offer a chance to let her in. And I believe under the help of this boss and her own endeavors, she will become a competitive worker in the future.

Generally, it is well known that not everyone is able to take the luck that easily, however, what we can do is to grasp every chance to be lucky, just as a high-class horse, if you are not able to control it properly, it will undoubtedly escape. So, what matters is that developng your interpersonal skills and trying to enable yourself to be a versatile person create a better way for you to beat other candidates.

闪闪硕硕UID: 2825715

改好了，仅供参考哈，呵呵

hong519690UID: 2548823

我修改的。。。

Everytime looking outside the windows of my dorm, I always see many students who are major in art writing rapidly and checking every page of their textbooks. At the same time, I wondered why they have to learn so many things in a short 3-year period. If(这个if好像多了，整句的语法似乎有点问题) it would be better if they learn them(them有点指代不明) from an early age and keep the knowledge in mind so that they won't(书写应该用will not) be this hard at this time? My answer would be absolutely!(立场最好能在说明白一点，好像absolute就可以了吧)* k7 ]. A' A: G% g. n1 `
3 K; n' t3 G5 e
As is known to all that the young children who are under ten have the amazing ability to accept new things and to memorize them, which enable kids to handle the problems easier. Learning from an early age may simply means listening to the stories that teachers told us about the history and watching pictures that teachers showed to tell the rules of adding(什么意思？). However, it is just these series of actions that may affected(affect) children more or less and those pictures and music are high likely to be remembered unconsciously. Language speaking(speaking似乎就可以了), which(这个which好像多了) could be a best example at this point. We learned to talk at around age of 3, the most two common words that are first(firstly) spoken by us are dad and mom, owing to their high frequency of being used in our daily life. We might be unable to figure out the true meaning of these two words but we just follow others until we finally know what those means. Similarly, kids often follow others, which help them develop a sense of music and logical at an early age.6 f+ l, K' K6 @. f; H' I

(前面最后有个first)Secondly, as an old adage goes "interest is the best teacher", learning at(多了) from an early age are more likely to exert an interest on certain subject or in certain field, according to a survey recently(我觉得谚语和句子内容关系不大). Take myself for example,(这里应该句号，要么就是taking) when I was 5, I was truly crazy about playing piano and fortunately I received a piano as a birthday gift and since then I began my piano career(piano有点多). After 7 years' playing, tired and busy as I was, I still deem it a routine of my daily life and ultimately made for my winning(这个好像可以不要) 3 piano rewards. That is to say, the interest that developed from an early age could be a lifelong habit rather than a implusive act.( ^+ M' o1 G/ g! t- a
! _2 v9 Q% n# [" [2 z7 v7 n+ w2 ]
5 Z6 @9 H( F# G& @2 M
Some opponents may point out that learning from an early age may keep the children from understanding correctely, however, just like an old chinese adverb goes "the chance to read a hundred times since its meaning is" ,which means that without reading in a row you wouldn't be able to understand the meaning(那句话似乎不是这个意思). Even if kids they can't read, their teachers and parents also can explain the meaning to them and only in this way can they understand and accept new things in an efficient way.(这个观点似乎只是一个小点，用来做结尾似乎不太合适)

总体来说，语法错误要注意一下。开头的论点没有表明的太清楚，后面的论证也稍显薄弱，浅显了一点，也有点乱。而且整篇的论点没有表达的很清楚。结尾段不太好，没有总结全文。不过有些句型还是用的很好，变化也比较多。
我第一次改别人作业，说的不对的请见谅。大家一起加油！

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

谢谢修改:) 3# 闪闪硕硕

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

4# hong519690
谢谢修改:)

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

09.06.12NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are

studying in universities.

   Never before have we witnessed such a large number of people are unemployeed with the rapid increase of population.However, surprisingly, we found that people who are offered positions luckily are not always those with deep understanding of what they have learnt in the campus but are those who are capabe of dealing problems.Thus, focucing on only studying is no longer considered to be the most essential thing for youngsters instead of a combination of practicing and learning.
  First and foremost, schooling does not mean reading abudant books and writting a lot of papers anymore in the contemporary society.Students have to put what they have learned in the text books into practice.For example, people who major in weapon assembling may obtain as much theoretical knowledge as they can and remember it by heart.However, when they touch the real bomb or guns they are concious and afraid, owing to a lack of practise and expericence.That is to say, students have to imply the theoretical contents to the related machines and the systems rather than read the books, otherwise, they may only have a chance to watch what others operate as a part-time worker later in the beginng of their career.
    What is more, part-time jobs offer students an opportunity to recognize what the real society is in advance.My older sister could be a great example at this point, she graduated in the Sichuan university, she entered a medical company in her second year in the college.After her part-time process, she found herself more popular and welcomed among her claasemates, due to her progressive interpersonal skills and amazing ability of organizing and leading.After her graduation in bachler degree ,she found a desirable position in an international company, beating other 13 masters.Therefore,What I mean is that the proper practicing enhance one's ability to make friends and handle the relationships between individuals.What is more, involeving a part-time job even promote youngsters ability to adjust themselves to a sudden situation.
  Opponents may point out that taking part-time jobs could be a waste of time and learning is the most crucial part of their campus life.There is no denying that learning could be of great help for their further study,however, learning continually may interfere with the development of our brain and a series of illness, such as short sighted ,are the consequences of it.However, regarding our practise time as a kind of brain relaxation, we will no longer be disturbed by these problems.Furthermore, we work at the same breath we make friends,which make no difference from having parties.Thus,in order to develop ourselves in an all-sided way,I deem it a necessity for youngsters to enroll part-time jobs.

dadafanUID: 2659273

昨天已经改过
可网络似乎有问题
传不上附件，拖到现在

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

谢谢^^ 8# chenyyalex

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

谢谢修改哦^^ 9# dadafan

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

9月7日交6 h$ Y$ W5 H1 L
2009.8.7 NA  是否同意 parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices./ E0 B  H+ U. a' N+ P% ^





Nowadays, arguing with parents about their career, open-minded children strongly ask to be given the right to make decisions themselves.However, many invisible risks are neglected by those want to use their right to choose the future road.An experienced parent could be a best teacher that can not be paid and the best knowledge you can not be obtained from the textbooks.Thus, obeying your parents' arrangment could be a more mature decision.
    There is no denying that youngsters,especially the elder students, should be givn the allowance to make their own choice that is due to their own interest.However, kids as we are, we are less experienced compareed with our parents and usually make unsopisticated decisions or act impulsively.For instance, my cousin who was interested in plaing piano, after his gruaduation from the high school, he dropped out of the university and began to regard playing piano as his career, regardless of his parents' disagreements.But 3 years later, when he is no more facinated by the piano pieces, he gave up playing and was forced to attend university as his parents once decided.That is to say, we are too young to decide our future as well as to acknowledge this society, which leads to many undesiarble results in our future life.
   However, experienced parents offer us help and guidance,which can not be writen in the text books, for free in one certain field.As we all know, working does not only need the knowledge or the deep understanding of the contents int books but also the practical abilities, which can be learned from the frontiers.For example, people who major in education, may have learned many physological knowledge from the books, but they really don not know what will happen in the class unless having asked many old teachers.Therefore, experience that your parents give you could be priceless.
   What is more, working and struggling in the certai field for many years, adults have bult up many relationship networks,which could be of great help for our further development.Accoding to a research recently that children who are given better positions are largely due to their outstanding parents.A friend of mine could be a great example at this point.When she had problem getting in an international organization, her father turned out to be a final curement because of the 3-year period friendship with the chairmanof that company.As a result, the foundation that your parents laied could compare to be an essential part of your future.
   To sum up, follwing parents' footprints, we may found it easier to earn a living in this ever-accelerated fierced competiton society and finally achieve our goals !

我爱englishUID: 2897335

把你的邮箱给我吧，我不能传附件

Icybaby77UID: 2893399

13# 我爱english
864570847@qq.com

我爱englishUID: 2897335

加油吧,批改仅是个人意见