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[活动] hong519690的作文贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-8-31 23:06:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
第一次交作文。希望大家多多指点。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.


Now, we are in the 21st century, and the most valuable thing of this century is the people with ability. The competetion among human beings is more and more serious, and the necessity to develop ourselves is more and more urgently. As a result, many parents and educators start this development from younger school children, making them study math, science, history, also art and music. These tasks of study make the children feel tired, however, I think these subjects can help a lot to build oneself. But there is the most important thing to remenber. That is the children should have interesting to do these things.

In nowadays, the requirement to people becomes more and more, and of couse the children are asked to learn more and more. Not only do they study the basic subjects, just like math, science and language and so on, but also they have to learn some other skills to develop the whole ability of themselves. Art and music may be a part of the skills. In my opinion, this structure of studying can benefit these children. First of all, the basic skills are needed for everyone, so they should learn some foundational subjects. Secondly, they also should develop their own advantages to differ from other students. Then they will learn some additional skills. These two parts of study can construct a general and special student which is needed by the society of nowadays. And what is more, to learn these different subjects can help the children to feel the interact among them, and the children can have a deeper understand in different areas.

However, we should not forget the most important thing-the interesting. Children should have interesting to do these studies, and then they can benefit the most from the study. We all know that interesting is the most powerful motivity for people doing something. However, if we can not feel happy when we worked or studyed, the effciency would decrease and we may give up in the end. Consequently, when parents or teachers want children to learn some skills in addition to the basic subjects, they should obey the interesting of the children, asking them what they want to learn and which areas are they most interested in. If the adults can do this for their children, these young school student can be very happy to learn. As a result, they will develop some special ability which can benefit them when they grow up, and the most important object of the study will be achieved.

Conclusively, those are my opinion. It is necessary for children to learn some special skills besides the basic subjects in nowadays. But the adults should not make children to learn without any plan. They should let the young students to learn what they are interested in. Then the effect of the study will be obvious.
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发表于 2010-9-1 21:32:27 |只看该作者

RE: hong519690的作文贴

修改好了。。
但我怎么添加不了附件。。。
修改的地方只有麻烦你自己比对下原文看啦。。。不好意思咯
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.5 H) b6 b, ^5 j& k8 o# Z
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In the 21st century, The compitetion among employers is more and more serious, and the necessity to develop ourselves is more and more urgent. As a result, many parents and educators start this development from younger school children, making them study math, science, history, as well as art and music. These tasks make children feel tired, however, I think these subjects can help a lot to build oneself. But there is one important thing to remember. That is the children should have interest to do these things.
.   Nowadays, the requirements from people climb dramatically, and of course the children are asked to learn more and more things. Not only do they study the basic subjects, just like math, science and language and so on, but also they have to learn some other skills to develop the comprehensive ability of themselves(
开头句最好简练一点,没必要再次交代 背景了,即使交代也不用交代那么长,要是考官一个不耐烦那就歇菜啦). Art and music may be a part of those skills. In my opinion, this schooling method can benefit these children. First of all, the basic skills are needed for everyone, so they should learn some foundational subjects(没有必要写这句话,与前面那句话重复了,needed那肯定就要学了). Secondly, they should also use their own advantages to distinguish themselves from other students in order to gain some additional skills. These two parts of study can reshape a general and special(什么意思??这个矛盾了吧) student which is needed by the society . And what is more, to learn these different subjects offers youngsters opportunities to interact with others in the class at the same time to have a deeper understanding in different fields../ h: q$ ]" S' ?" E+ |1 k

. _+ t" b4 z2 R: U- }4 XHowever, we should not forget the most important thing-the interest.Having motivation towards these subjects, adolescents are high likely to receive the maximum benefits from learning.. However, if we are not happy when we work or study, the efficiency would decrease, which leads to our giving up in the end. Consequently, when parents or teachers want children to learn some skills in addition to the basic subjects, they should consider the willings of the children If the adults can do this for their children, these young school students can be very happy to learn. As a result, they will develop some special abilities which last a lifelong time , and the most important purpose of the study will be achieved.
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Conclusively, those are my opinion.(
这个结尾有点。。太直白) It is necessary for children to learn some special skills besides the basic subjects in contemporary society. But the adults should not make children learn without any plan. They should let the young students to learn what they are interested in. Then the effect of the study will be obvious.


最关键的是逻辑混乱啊!!(不过我一开始也是这样,多练下就好了)在写作之前最好打个提纲,你agree 了就不要再说遵循个人兴趣爱好了,因为这是不同意才这样写的额
还有就是开头,感觉都是简单句构成读起来太乏味

还有就是语法部分还要再加强,这个也很重要滴
有的句子用的不灵活,建议多看一些作文书,比如李笑来的高分作文

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板凳
发表于 2010-9-1 22:21:30 |只看该作者
改好了,呵呵

新建+Micros...doc

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地板
发表于 2010-9-1 22:48:40 |只看该作者
谢谢大家!!
继续加油!!

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发表于 2010-9-7 22:55:19 |只看该作者
9.7作业
是否同意 parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.


The parents and the children, sometimes, may be the enimy to each other. The children always want independce and they wish they could decide their future just by theirselves. However, the parents want to control their children. They would like to decide the kids’ future which they think the best ones. Then in my opinion, the parents and the children could be friends. They can discuse the future of children together. And what is more, if they could be friends, I can expect the result will be better.

In one hand, the children have the right to decide their futures. Everyone is the person who realizes oneself mostly. We know deeply about ourselves. The interests, the aversions, just the children themselves know clearly. Take the choose of major when children go to college for example. People should study in the area that they have interest in, and this kind of desion could have the most possibility to help people do some achievements during their college life and also they will enjoy the happy time in the college. The children of course know their interests, and if they choose the majoy by themselves, they could make the proper desion. And in the most posibility, they would not regret in the future.

In another hand, the parents have life experience that the children just lack, and they are the people who give the most love to their children. Consequently, the parents should take part in the desion of the future of the children. Also take the same example above. If the majoy could be decided by the children themselves, parents would necessarily take part in the desion of the universtity the children should go to. The parents may have more posibility to know which universtiy would be suitable for their children than the children themselves do. There many factors could influence the desion of the university, just like the quality of the majoy, the geographic position, the climate and of course the work opportunities. Just because of these many influenced factors and abundant life experience, the parents could offer some valuable advises to their children, and as a result the desion will be suitable.

Conclusively, everyone should listen to the sound from the heart, as well as the children. However, sounds from others could also have the benefit effect, especially the ones from parents because they care about their children mostly. In a word, the combination of the two sides talked about above could have a excellent desion of the children’s future.

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发表于 2010-9-8 22:48:29 |只看该作者
by Ivan1989

hong19690.doc

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发表于 2010-9-9 08:20:38 |只看该作者
改好了 改好了
加油加油

0907 hong reviewed by WSYLR.doc

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