【NINE 小组】第一次作业-by ymxjtu

ymxjtuUID: 2984484

第一次作业，求大牛小牛很拍……26      新题：26   The luxuries and conveniencesof contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong andindependent individuals.
现代生活的奢华和便利，让人们无法成为真正强大，独立的个体。
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. Indeveloping and supporting your position, you should consider ways which thestatement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerationsshape your position.

The statement points that individuals’ true strength and independence is prevented by the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life. It seems true that people rely more and more on technology to solve problems so that they even can’t calculate some simple mathematics by themselves if without calculator. But it is not the fact. In my opinion, the modern luxuries and conveniences really improve people to be more strong and independent individuals rather than circumscribing people.

What is a truly strong and independent individual? If it only means some simple mental skills, likely “data maintenance”, i.e. performing calculations and organizing information), I think it will not be reasonable enough. In my point, people who can independently take care of himself, be able to think and solve problems by himself is a truly strong and independent individual. So from this definition, it is easy to see that contemporary life provides more convenience and chance to support people to be stronger and more independent.

The development of society provides people more conveniences to survive independently. When comparing modern people’s life with the past, human beings now can live a free, relax life much more easily than before. The machine replaced people to do onerous, hard and hazardous work, such like harvest machine, which also helps people to gain more to live. Furthermore, model high technologies using in daily life make people’s life more convenient, which results that everyone can live by oneself without help from others.

Besides, the most important point is that the contemporary luxury and convenient life does not deteriorate people’s ability to think and solve problems independently. Actually, the luxuries and convenience of modern life just show people’s ability to consider and settle problems. And it also supplies more chances and choices than ever before for people to develop their competence.

Firstly, we have to admit that it is people who create this beautiful, luxury and convenient society, which justifies the progress of people’s capability of solving problem. From the other angle, the modern life, special the technology frees people from the mundane problem solving  such like calculating and allows us to engage in more complex thinking. In addition, more and more complicated problems, such as environmental pollution, global economical crisis and global warming, appear in modern society, which challenge people to improve their ability to deal with them. So, just like one saying “challenging and opportunity exists together”, all of these improve people’s independent thinking and solving ability.

Secondly, the technology advancement, for example TV, the internet, mobile phone and so on, offers much more information to individuals to help them look for the best question or method for them to settle their problem by themselves. Moreover, people are connected by the widely used internet to share different ideas and thinking ways, which is more important for people to develop the comprehensive and efficient ability to deal with troubles.

Last but not least, although the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary bring some negative influence to people, it does not show that individuals can’t be strong and independent. Virtually, individuals in today have much more chances and conditions to learn and communicate with others to improve their different aspect abilities to be stronger and more independent than before. These changes can’t be imagined in the past.

All in all, whatever how luxury and convenient our life are, we should be aware that the development of the society is the progress not only people’s thinking and solving problems but also pursuing more free life and thinking. Therefore, without considering what the society will be, this final aim will not change and individuals abilities to think and solve problems is improving as well as individuals’ strengths and independence.




提纲懒得贴了，提纲压缩好了再贴吧，麻烦各位很拍指教……

ymxjtuUID: 2984484

自己顶一个……

lovetianUID: 2899734

The statement points that individuals’ true strength and independence is prevented by the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life. （对原题目的改写）It seems true that people rely more and more on technology to solve problems so that they even can’t calculate some simple mathematics by themselves if without calculator. （大概是我自己对文章意思的不理解 我觉得真正强大独立的人格应该不只是和处理问题的能力有很大的关系吧 这句用在ISSUE第一个题目里面可能比较适合）But it is not the fact. In my opinion, the modern luxuries and conveniences really improve people to be more strong and independent individuals rather than circumscribing people.（没有说明 只是简单的个人想法 是不是会使得文字显得比较无力 我的感觉实在这好像缺点什么 在上新东方的时候 老师说在写文章的时候 因为第一段比较重要 所以最好在第一段也写一些对后文的提示 至少让阅读的人知道后面你会讲到什么）
重述文章题目 表达自己的观点

What is a truly strong and independent individual? If it only means some simple mental skills, likely “data maintenance”, i.e. performing calculations and organizing information), I think it will not be reasonable enough. In my point, people who can independently take care of himself, be able to think and solve problems by himself is a truly strong and independent individual. (这个定义很好 不过怎么感觉后面讲的和这个无关)So from this definition, it is easy to see that contemporary life provides more convenience and chance to support people to be stronger and more independent.（这句话 为什么可以从中看出现代的生活支持人变得更强 应该说是人们更加不能离开现代化的高科技了吧 和上面的定义有区别）
表明作者自己对于强大、独立个人的理解 并通过理解再次反驳题目

The development of society provides people more conveniences to survive independently.（还是那个问题 如果是依赖科技的话 还能说是independently吗） When comparing modern people’s life with the past, human beings now can live a free relax life much more easily than before. The machine replaced people to do onerous, hard and hazardous work, such like harvest machine, which also helps people to gain more to live. Furthermore, model high technologies using in daily life make people’s life more convenient, which results that everyone can live by oneself without help from others.（这句话的意思是指现代的生活将原本依靠他人帮助的任务 转嫁到机器上面 但是本质没有改变 没有说通过使用机器使得人提高了自身解决问题的能力）
现代生活的科技解放人们的劳动 使人们享受生活 从过去依赖别人转为依赖机器

Besides, the most important point is that the contemporary luxury and convenient life does not deteriorate people’s ability to think and solve problems independently. Actually, the luxuries and convenience of modern life just show people’s ability to consider and settle problems.（但是 现在的生活 很多方便和奢华 都是少数人提供的 更多的人只是简单的去享受 那些简单享受的人并没有通过这个进行思考吧） And it also supplies more chances and choices than ever before for people to develop their competence.（这个显得论述有些无力 最好能够举出一些比较实际的例子 比如提供了哪些机会让人们可以提高能力）
现代生活的便利体现了人的能力 并且生活的便利化转而给人们提供更多机会

Firstly, we have to admit that it is people who create this beautiful, luxury and convenient society, which justifies the progress of people’s capability of solving problem. From the other angle, the modern life, special the technology frees people from the mundane problem solving such like calculating and allows us to engage in more complex thinking. In addition, more and more complicated problems, such as environmental pollution, global economic crisis and global warming, appear in modern society, which challenge people to improve their ability to deal with them.（但是这些问题并不是所有人都能够去做去思考的 现代生活解放了人们使他们不用去思考那些过去他们能够思考的 而留下的是现在他们也无法思考的 这不就是变相的减少了他们思考的机会吗） So, just like one saying “challenging and opportunity exists together”, all of these improve people’s independent thinking and solving ability.
重述上一段的论点并加以完整和补充 使用具体的例子

Secondly, the technology advancement, for example TV, the internet, mobile phone and so on, offers much more information to individuals to help them look for the best questioner method（这个是什么意思 咳咳 不太理解） for them to settle their problem by themselves. Moreover, people are connected by the widely used internet to share different ideas and thinking ways, which is more important for people to develop the comprehensive and efficient ability to deal with troubles.
从多媒体 已经互联网通讯角度 继续说生活给人提供更多机会

Last but not least, although the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary bring some negative influence to people, it does not show that individuals can’t be strong and independent. Virtually, individuals in today have much more chances and conditions to learn and communicate with others to improve their different aspect abilities to be stronger and more independent than before. These changes can’t be imagined in the past.
再次说现代甚或在各方面提供机会 并且指出这是以前无法想象的

All in all, whatever how luxury and convenience, we should be aware that the development of the society is the progress not only people’s thinking and solving problems but also pursuing more free life and thinking. Therefore, without considering what the society will be, this final aim will not change and individuals’ abilities to think and solve problems is improving as well as individuals’ strengths and independence.
总结 因为提供了更多机会 所以能提高人的能力



额 其实吧 感觉就和一篇A的题目里面说的差不多 那篇说的是某项科技节约了人在某项劳动上的时间 使得人转而将节约下来的时间用在别的工作上面  但是 人不一定会把节约下来的时间用在工作上 也就是这篇文章里说的用在思考上 可能会浪费在其他方面 而且考虑到人的惰性这个可能性很大
而且 还有就是 强大、独立的个人到底是怎么定义的 能力的提高就是独立和强大了吗？







第一次批改 不足之处 请多指教

ymxjtuUID: 2984484

第一次修改
The statement points that individuals’ true strength and independence is prevented by the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life. I partially agree with this view but it goes to an extreme to ignore the benefits they bring about.

To begin with, nowadays many people are becoming lazier because of relying too much on daily life conveniences as well as addicting themselves into the luxuries life too much to lose their wills and life goals. We can use calculator to deal with mathematics instead of using our brain. We can enjoy the entertainments by watching TV rather than going out to play with others. We can also gain more crops by harvest machine without any our manual labor. As a result, if people can use any machine or facilities to solve problems, it seems that they will be unwilling to do by themselves. So people are becoming lazier and more dependent on tools. These changes really weaken people’ s bodies and independent surviving ability. What’s the important, the luxuries modern life now are abating many young people’s wills. The luxuries life makes the young unwilling to work or to endure any difficulties to realize their ambitions if they have one. They are weaker and more dependent on the luxuries life because of losing their enterprises. So it really is a terrible thing that these negative influences warn us a lot to reflect the convenient and luxury life.
However, it is not wise for us to go to an extreme to overlook the benefits them create to help people stronger and more independently. In my point, thanks to the modern life conveniences, we now have much more opportunities to develop our independent personalities and abilities than ever before.

When comparing modern people’s life with the past, after being replaced people by machine from the onerous, hard and hazardous work, human beings now can live a free, relax life much more easily. The technology frees people from the mundane problem solving  such like calculating and allows us to engage in more complex thinking. For example, when the computer came out, researchers could do more thorough and complicated problems in study the universe origin. So, the progress of modern life makes us have a deeper understanding of everyone own, such as who I am, what I want and how I can, and so on.
Besides, the most important point is that the contemporary luxury and convenient life does not deteriorate people’s ability to think and solve problems independently. Actually, it supplies more chances and choices than ever before for people to develop their kinds of competence such as thinking and solving problems independently.

Virtually, we can see that the technology advancement, for example TV, the internet, mobile phone and so on, offers much more information to individuals to help them look for the best question or method for them to settle their problem by themselves. Moreover, people are connected by the widely used internet to share different ideas and thinking ways, which is more important for people to develop the comprehensive and efficient ability to deal with troubles.

In addition, individuals now emphasize more on unique personality than those in the past. Not only do individuals in today have much more chances and conditions to learn and communicate with others to improve their different aspect abilities，but also they get a lot platforms to show their different views, to illustrate their unique reasons as well as their own thinking independences from others. These changes can’t be imagined in the past.
At last, what is a truly strong and independent individual? Different people have different points. But it does not only means some simple mental skills, likely “data maintenance”, i.e. performing calculations and organizing information), I think it will not be reasonable enough. In my opinion, a strong and independent individual may have a unique personality, a enterprise, a clearly life goal and be able to think and solve problems by oneself. The development of the modern life really provide a good environment for people to develop different characteristics and independent personalities although there are some negative influences.

All in all, whatever how luxury and convenience, we should be aware that the development of the society is the progress not only people’s thinking and solving problems but also pursuing more free life and thinking. Therefore, without considering what the society will be, this final aim will not change and individuals abilities to think and solve problems is improving as well as individuals’ strengths and independence.

batman4000UID: 3139168

The statement points that individuals’ true strength and independence is prevented by the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life. I partially agree with this view but it goes to an extreme to ignore the benefits they bring about.

To begin with, nowadays many people are becoming lazier because of relying too much on daily life conveniences as well as addicting themselves into the luxuries life too much to lose their wills and life goals. We can use calculator to deal with mathematics instead of using our brain.(using 可去掉) We can enjoy the entertainments by watching TV rather than going out to play with others. We can also gain more crops by harvest machine without any our manual labor. As a result, if people can use any machine or facilities to solve problems, it seems that they will be unwilling to do by themselves.（我觉得这里应该指出体力活动的坏处，比如带来劳累，耗费时间等等，所以人们才会做出上述选择，这样会更有说服性） So people are becoming lazier and more dependent on tools. These changes really weaken people’ s bodies and independent surviving ability. What’s the important, the luxuries modern life now are abating many young people’s wills. The luxuries life makes the young unwilling to work or to endure any difficulties to realize their ambitions if they have one. They are weaker and more dependent on the luxuries life because of losing their enterprises.（这里因果关系颠倒了。由上一句的意思，应该是因为年轻人习惯了享受现代奢侈的生活，所以才失去了冒险精神） So it is really a terrible thing that these negative influences warn us a lot to reflect the convenient and luxury life.
However, it is not wise for us to go to an extreme to overlook the benefits they create to help people be stronger and more independent. In my point, thanks to the modern life conveniences, we now have much more opportunities to develop our independent personalities and abilities than ever before.

When comparing modern people’s life with the past, after people being replaced by machine from the onerous, hard and hazardous work, human beings now can live a free, relax life much more easily. The technology frees people from the mundane problem solving  such as calculating and allows us to engage in more complex thinking.（记得第二段提到过将calculator的使用作为反例，这里再论述calculating的话是否有些矛盾呢？建议换一个例子。） For example, when the computer came out, researchers could do more thorough and complicated problems in studying the universe origin. So, the progress of modern life makes us have a deeper understanding of everyone own, such as who I am, what I want and how I can, and so on.
Besides, the most important point is that the contemporary luxurious and convenient life does not deteriorate people’s ability to think and solve problems independently. Actually, it supplies more chances and choices than ever before for people to develop their kinds of competence such as thinking and solving problems independently.

Virtually, we can see that the technology advancement, for example TV, the internet, mobile phone and so on, offers much more information to individuals to help them look for the best question or method for them to settle their problem by themselves. Moreover, people are connected by the widely used internet to share different ideas and thinking ways, which is more important for people to develop the comprehensive and efficient ability to deal with troubles.

In addition, individuals now emphasize more on unique personality than those in the past. Not only do individuals in today have much more chances and conditions to learn and communicate with others to improve their abilities in different aspect，but also they get a lot of platforms to show their different views, to illustrate their unique reasons as well as their own thinking independences from others. These changes can’t be imagined in the past.（这段为什么没有写到contemporary life？）
At last, what is a truly strong and independent individual? Different people have different points. But it does not only mean some simple mental skills, likely “data maintenance”, i.e. performing calculations and organizing information), I think it will not be reasonable enough. In my opinion, a strong and independent individual may have a unique personality, a enterprise, a clearly life goal and be able to think and solve problems by oneself. The development of the modern life really provides a good environment for people to develop different characteristics and independent personalities although there are some negative influences.

All in all, whatever how luxurious and convenient, we should be aware that the development of the society is the progress not only people’s thinking and solving problems but also pursuing more free life and thinking.（这句看得有点晕） Therefore, without considering what the society will be, this final aim will not change and individuals abilities to think and solve problems is improving as well as individuals’ strengths and independence.

真的很佩服你能把文章写这么长，这样的学习精神是我应该向你学习的~而且你的文章里有不少高级词汇和复杂的句子，这说明你的英语水平真的很好~
不过，我觉得即使是练习的话，我觉得还是有点过长了~因为字数是最基本的要求，我们需要训练的还有语言的精炼能力：如何将同样地问题用更少的字数阐述清楚，这应该是我们所缺少的。因此建议将文章再精炼些~
感觉最后倒数第二段的总结很高，成功把之前各段联系了起来。不过我在想是不是将这一段放在前面更好一些呢？
总体来说还是很好的，至少看了你的文章，我可以接受这样的观点~嘿嘿。