Arguement37 第一篇同主题习作，欢迎来拍， 必回拍

shanekunUID：2104358

同主题写作第一篇， 关于考古的篮子发现， 希望得到大家的指点， first diagnostic means a lot to me, thanks!


The argument is not cogent and convincing because there are several errors concerning causal relationship lies in the reasoning line. The argument asserts that an kind of woven baskets with distinctive pattern are no longer unique to Palea because it was found in Lithos, which was another city across a deep river from Palea.

First of all, the arguer takes the boat as the sole transport device to ferry the pelean across the river due to the considerable breadth and depth of this river. However, there could used to be many solution for transporting people and cargos over the water. One or several bridges over the trouble water would have been bulit make the communication and transportation much more easier and effective than the author assumed. People could have take whatever he want back and forth between Pelea and Lithos, naturally including the woven baskets with particular pattern, as commodities for example. In addition, the Pelean would applied other devices such as

Furthermore，even if the boat was the single solution for communication across the river, just because of there is a lack of evidence cannot preclude the possibility of the formal existence of boat belonged to Palean. Maybe the remaining of these boats, under the influences of erosion and climate changes, corrupted to pieces and fragment, keep them from being detected or recognized; at the same time, another story could be the boats was severly damaged, wrecked  and buried into the river floor. It would no be surprising that in the future the fragment even the whole body of this kind of boats will be discovered, just like the woven baskets mentioned above, by the archeologist with the advantage of specific technique.

On the other hand, because there are sufficient food supply such as nuts, berries and games around Palea, the arguments assumed no needs for Palean to cross the river; However the arguer fails to rule out other possibilities. Without any concrete evidence and research evidences concerning contemporary record of culture and historical events, the Palean could manage to go to Lithos for other reasons, for instance, travel in pursuit of products, ornaments due to the thrive in economical and cultural perspective and even merely to visit the distinguished publics or leaders within a tribe meeting.

Last but not the least, supposed that Palean neither made out solution nor have the interest to cross the deep river to reach the other side, the basket still have plenty of chances to float over the water eventually via an special channel. One of the story could be that the woven basket was dropped down to the river from the people on Palean side and float against all odds to the other side, then was picked up and appreciated by Lithosian, became fashion and mass produced. Consequently, the basket with particular pattern and used to be unique in Palea came into being a commonplace goods.

To sum up, without support of further research evidence and examining other factors and possibilities,as a competent researcher report on archeology , the argument could not establish a casual relationship and make a hasty generalization.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-11 at 14:33 ]

seraph_hydeUID：184809

写的很严密啊，论据也很有力，除了第二段好像没写完，其他都很好，如果这是限时写的，我觉得你可以不用再A上花太多时间了

xiaolangUID：179729

The argument is not cogent and convincing because there are several errors concerning causal relationship lies in the reasoning line. The argument asserts that an kind of woven baskets with distinctive pattern are no longer unique to Palea because it was found in Lithos, which was another city across a deep river from Palea.我觉得第一句出现的位置不太合适，第一段主要是概括下原文的推论过程然后指出不对。

First of all, the arguer takes the boat as the sole transport device to ferry the pelean across the river due to the considerable breadth and depth of this river. However, there could used to be many solutions for transporting people and cargos over the water. One or several bridges over the trouble water would have been bulit make the communication and transportation much more easier and effective than the author assumed. People could have taken whatever he want back and forth between Pelea and Lithos, naturally including the woven baskets with particular pattern, as commodities for example. 这句感觉跟前面的论述关系不大，主要是列举其他可能的交通方式对吧In addition, the Pelean would applied other devices such as 怎么没有了？

Furthermore，even if the boat was the single solution for communication across the river, just because of 后面加词组，不能加句子there is a lack of evidence cannot preclude the possibility of the formal former?existence of boat belonged to Palean. Maybe the remaining of these boats, under the influences of erosion and climate changes, corrupted to pieces and fragment, keep them from being detected or recognized; at the same time, another story 这个story是什么意思？could be the boats was severly damaged, wrecked  and buried into the river floor. It would no be surprising that in the future the fragment even the whole body of this kind of boats will be discovered, just like the woven baskets mentioned above, by the archeologist with the advantage of specific technique. 假设提得很精彩！

On the other hand, because there are sufficient food supply such as nuts, berries and games around Palea, the arguments assumed no needs for Palean to cross the river; However the arguer fails to rule out other possibilities. Without any concrete evidence and research evidences concerning contemporary record of culture and historical events, the Palean could manage to go to Lithos for other reasons, for instance, travel in pursuit of products, ornaments due to the thrive in economical and cultural perspective and even merely to visit the distinguished publics or leaders within a tribe meeting.也很精彩，最后还可以加上论证段的结尾套话嘛，增加字数！

Last but not the least, supposed that Palean neither made out solution nor have the interest to cross the deep river to reach the other side, the basket still have plenty of chances to float over the water eventually via an special channel. 语法不通，我能明白。主语是the basket啊One of the story could be that the woven basket was dropped down to the river from the people on Palean side and float against all odds to the other side, then was picked up and appreciated by Lithosian, became fashion and mass produced. Consequently, the basket with particular pattern and used to be unique in Palea came into being a commonplace goods.想象合理大胆！

To sum up, without support of further research evidence and examining other factors and possibilities,as a competent researcher report on archeology , the argument could not establish a casual relationship and make a hasty generalization.
你的论证逻辑已经很成熟了我认为，唯一欠缺的是模版语言比如开头结尾处，可能你觉得那样容易雷同，我建议你结合自己的语言多少用一些，全文更显结构整齐！加油！刚开始，非常不错！

xiaolangUID：179729

我的模版语言是指你自己总结后形成自己风格的语言，千万别套路！我怎么觉得越说越说不清了，不好意思！因为我觉得你的开头结尾结构不是很清晰。
加油！

shanekunUID：2104358

谢谢，关于模版的问题真是有点让人左右为难，呵呵，
感觉把握复述与总结的度还是很关键，再仔细看范文。。

sharonhyUID：2102195

The argument is not cogent and convincing because there are several errors concerning causal relationship lies in the reasoning line. The argument asserts that an kind of woven baskets with distinctive pattern are no longer unique to Palea because it was found in Lithos, which was another city across a deep river from Palea.(感觉BECAUSE后面的东西应该说的更明白，除了河，主要还有船的问题）

First of all, the arguer takes the boat as the sole transport device to ferry the pelean across the river due to the considerable breadth and depth of this river. However, there could used to be many solution for transporting people and cargos over the water. （两句能不能合成一句，这样看起来更像TS）One or several bridges over the trouble （troublesome<<trouble好像一般不用作形容词）water would have been bulit make （making) the communication and transportation much more easier (much more easier<<??笔误吧）and （more) effective than the author assumed. People could have take (<<taken) whatever he (she/he) want (wanted) back and forth between Pelea and Lithos, naturally including the woven baskets with particular pattern, as commodities for example. In addition, the Pelean would applied other devices such as (后面米有了？）

Furthermore，even if the boat was the single （<<感觉改成only比较好）solution for communication across the river, just because of there is a lack of evidence cannot preclude the possibility of the formal existence of boat belonged to Palean （just because of....cannot precluce<<感觉很累赘，直接用lack of ...cannot preclude比较好吧）. Maybe the remaining of these boats（these<<those）, under the influences of erosion and climate changes, corrupted to pieces and fragment （fragments应该是好多碎片）, keep （keeping） them from being detected or recognized （by xxx); at the same time, another story could be the boats was severly damaged, wrecked  and buried into the river floor. It would no be surprising that in the future the fragment even the whole body of this kind of boats will be discovered, just like the woven baskets mentioned above, by the archeologist with the advantage of specific technique. （我喜欢这句，我也想写的，后来忘记了）

On the other hand, because there are （were）sufficient food supply such as nuts, berries and games around Palea, the arguments assumed no needs for Palean to cross the river; However the arguer fails to rule out other possibilities （把后半部分调到前面去）. Without any concrete evidence and research evidences （重复了吧？concrete evindence和research evindence不能并列啊，且evidence要么都单数要么都复数） concerning contemporary record of culture and historical events, the Palean could manage to go to Lithos for other reasons, for instance, travel in pursuit of products, ornaments due to the thrive in economical and cultural perspective and even merely to visit the distinguished publics or leaders within a tribe meeting.

Last but not the least, supposed that Palean neither made out solution （a solution/solutions（ nor have the interest to cross the deep river to reach the other side, the basket still have （had） plenty of chances to float over the water eventually via an special channel. One of the story （one of the stories） could be that the woven basket was dropped down to the river from (by) the people on Palean side and float （floated） against all odds to the other side, then was picked up and appreciated by Lithosian, became fashion and mass produced （这句有漏洞，如果mass produced了，那对Palean就不是unique了）. Consequently, the basket with particular pattern and used to be unique in Palea came into being a commonplace goods.

To sum up, without support of further research evidence and examining other factors and possibilities,as a competent researcher report on archeology , the argument could not establish a casual relationship and make a hasty generalization.

leo_chenUID：206840

The argument is not cogent and convincing because there are several errors concerning causal relationship lies in the reasoning line. 确认一下语法 The argument asserts that an kind of woven baskets with distinctive pattern are no longer unique to Palea because it was found in Lithos, which was another city village across a deep river from Palea.

First of all, the arguer takes the boat as the sole transport device to ferry the pelean across the river due to the considerable breadth and depth of this river. However, there could used to be many solution for transporting people and cargos over the water. One or several bridges over the trouble water would have been bulit make the communication and transportation much more easier and effective than the author assumed. People could have take whatever he want back and forth between Pelea and Lithos, naturally including the woven baskets with particular pattern, as commodities for example. In addition, the Pelean would applied other devices such as ？？？

Furthermore，even if the boat was the single solution for communication across the river, just because of 语法 there is a lack of evidence 主语在哪 cannot preclude the possibility of the formal existence of boat belonged to Palean. Maybe the remaining of these boats, under the influences of erosion and climate changes, corrupted to pieces and fragment, keep them from being detected or recognized; at the same time, another story could be the boats was severly damaged, wrecked  and buried into the river floor. It would no be surprising that in the future the fragment even the whole body of this kind of boats will be discovered, just like the woven baskets mentioned above, by the archeologist with the advantage of specific technique.

On the other hand, because there are sufficient food supply such as nuts, berries and games around Palea, the arguments assumed no needs for Palean to cross the river; However the arguer fails to rule out other possibilities. Without any concrete evidence and research evidences concerning contemporary record of culture and historical events, the Palean could manage to go to Lithos for other reasons, for instance, travel in pursuit of products, ornaments due to the thrive in economical and cultural perspective and even merely to visit the distinguished publics or leaders within a tribe meeting.

Last but not the least, supposed that Palean neither made out solution nor have the interest to cross the deep river to reach the other side, the basket still have plenty of chances to float over the water eventually via an special channel. One of the story 确认一下表达 could be that the woven basket was dropped down to the river from the people on Palean side and float against all odds to the other side, then was picked up and appreciated by Lithosian, became fashion and mass produced. Consequently, the basket with particular pattern and used to be unique in Palea came into being a commonplace goods.

To sum up, without support of further research evidence and examining other factors and possibilities,as a competent researcher report on archeology , the argument could not establish a casual relationship and make a hasty generalization.

mkb57288UID：2105771

The argument is not cogent and convincing because there are several errors concerning causal relationship lies in the reasoning line. The argument asserts that an kind of woven baskets with distinctive pattern are no longer unique to Palea because it was found in Lithos, which was another city across a deep river from Palea.第一段安排的顺序调换一下可能比较好

First of all, the arguer takes the boat as the sole transport device to ferry the pelean across the river due to the considerable breadth and depth of this river. However, there could used to be many solution for transporting people and cargos over the water. One or several bridges over the trouble water would have been bulit make the communication and transportation much more easier and effective than the author assumed.《〈〈可以用such as把上一句改成一段名词，总觉得反驳用的假设应该简短有力 〉〉〉People could have take whatever he want back and forth between Pelea and Lithos, naturally including the woven baskets with particular pattern, as commodities for example. In addition, the Pelean would applied other devices such as ？？？？

Furthermore，even if the boat was the single <<mere怎么样？>>solution for communication across the river, just because of there is a lack of evidence cannot preclude the possibility of the formal existence of boat belonged to Palean. Maybe the remaining of these boats, under the influences of erosion and climate changes, corrupted to pieces and fragment, keep them from being detected or recognized; at the same time, another story could be the boats was severly damaged, wrecked  and buried into the river floor. 感觉后面的有点画蛇添足了，不如在进一步点明逻辑错误<either scenario will severly weaken the assumption that  the lack of boat prevent the communiocation between...and...>It would no be surprising that in the future the fragment even the whole body of this kind of boats will be discovered, just like the woven baskets mentioned above, by the archeologist with the advantage of specific technique.

On the other hand, 用在开头好么，不知道:)because there are sufficient food supply such as nuts, berries and games around Palea, the arguments assumed no needs for Palean to cross the river; However the arguer fails to rule out other possibilities. 用从句连一下吧Without any concrete evidence and research evidences concerning contemporary record of culture and historical events, the Palean could manage to go to Lithos for other reasons, for instance, travel in pursuit of products, ornaments due to the thrive in economical and cultural perspective and even merely to visit the distinguished publics or leaders within a tribe meeting.感觉还是缺少段落结尾

Last but not the least, supposed that Palean neither made out solution nor have the interest to cross the deep river to reach the other side, the basket still have plenty of chances to float over the water eventually via an special channel. One of the story could be that the woven basket was dropped down to the river from the people on Palean side and float against all odds to the other side, then was picked up and appreciated by Lithosian, became fashion and mass produced. Consequently, the basket with particular pattern and used to be unique in Palea came into being a commonplace goods.

To sum up, without support of further research evidence and examining other factors and possibilities,as a competent researcher report on archeology , the argument could not establish a casual relationship and make a hasty generalization. 可以加入建议和具体的残缺内容

mkb57288UID：2105771

另外看过题目觉得最大的逻辑漏洞在于，即使P人没有能力和动机把篮子带到对岸，也不代表L人没有能力把篮子带过去，需要综合两地的文化风格，技术水平综合考虑
我的一篇issue10:https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

mkb57288UID：2105771

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1