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[i习作temp] Issue48 同主题作业,限时失败。 看看吧,给个一句话的评价也好啊。。。 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-7-16 10:03:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue48: 426 words  45 minutes
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

提纲
1、        虽然不应忽视大众的角色,但把重点放在名人身上是有理由地
2、        历史是由名人和大众共同创造的

正文

The speaker's assertion includes two parts, (1)we pay too much attention to individuals in studying history and (2)history is made by the multitude whose identities have long been forgotten instead of the famous few. I do not agree with the speaker in either part. In my view, emphasis on individuals is reasonable since to study the famous few can be helpful to historians to understand certain trends and events in history. Moreover, the famous few are equally important with the multitude when it comes to the study of history.

On the one hand, it makes historians easy to understand certain trends and events in history to study the famous few representatives in the past. In fact, the deeds and thoughts of the leaders historical events stand for the actions and ideas of most people involved in that events. And due to the sufficient documents about luminaries and lack of evidence about the multitude that even cannot be identified, studying the famous may be an easier and faster way for people to understand history. Anyway, it might be impossible for common people to know specifically what the unidentified did thousands years ago, while the information of celebrities are more accessible and easier for students to remember. Admittedly, paying attention to the famous few does no mean to neglect the role the multitude in historical events and trends. As the analysis above, as long as we have enough evidence about the deeds and ideas of unidentified masses, we should study the influence of the multitude towards history together with the celebrities and then have a more profound understanding about history. Therefore, I do not believe we place too much emphasis on individuals in history, since studying the famous few may be a better way for us to understand the past in case that the information about the unidentified groups are not available.

On the other hand, trends and events in history are made possible by the endeavor of both the famous few and people whose identities have long been forgotten. As a matter of fact, the original ideas from certain individuals cannot formulate trends without the acceptance and support of the multitude. It is the same with historical events; consider if no one had put the will of leaders into practice, there would have been no sensational events worth studying. For supporting examples people need no look no further than NAZI in World War II. Actually, there may have been no so-called blitz strategy of German forces without the decision of Hitler, meanwhile without the training and practicing of the massive German soldiers, it may be impossible for NAZI to invade in so many countries in Europe in a short period of time. Also, if there had been no irrational passion among the German youngsters to support NAZI, Hitler could never have been able to put his ideas into reality. Consequently, we can easily see that history is made by both the famous few and the unidentified masses.

To sum up, owing to the absence of the evidence of the unidentified groups, there are good reasons for historians to emphasize on the famous individuals. Moreover, we should not overlook the role of the multitude when it comes to historical events and trends, since history is made by the effort of both the famous few and the multitude.
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沙发
发表于 2005-7-16 10:41:05 |只看该作者
第2个body论述有点浅显,就是突出了一个大众的参与作用
I am going to conquer GMAT and new TOEFL

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板凳
发表于 2005-7-16 15:47:36 |只看该作者
感谢fhxywei的回复

关于第二个BODY,现在想到的就只有不能忽视名人当时所处的历史环境和背景,这些也都是有大众的力量在里面的,fhxywei还有什么好的建议么?
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地板
发表于 2005-7-16 16:11:21 |只看该作者
先简单看了一下,谈谈只字片语的感觉,只是感觉
第一点好像把"do we place too much emphasis on the famous people"和"it is worth placing too much emphasis on the famous people"这两个问题混杂在一起了
第二点宜矫枉过正,对大众之于历史的作用最多一笔带过,无须赘述,top sentense改成, trends and events in history were also made possible by the endeavor of the famous few besides the efforts of groups.

有空细拍
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发表于 2005-7-17 07:09:42 |只看该作者
感谢edgarlu的点评
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发表于 2005-7-17 09:24:23 |只看该作者
先看看主题句,主题句好像是重复的,没有层次感,第一句说强调个人的重要性,第二句写少数同样重要,和上面的重了。而且看得出来第二句想要回应题目的第二部分,而题目的第二部分不是说研究历史,而是说历史事件是怎样形成的。我觉得可以换一下,先说历史事件时由少数和大众共同造成,然后说研究历史应该强调少数,各种原因。最后来个
concession,说也不能忽视大众。

另外第一部分主题句是说研究少数可以了解历史趋势,但怎么最后讨论起来资料的多少乐啊?因为个人的资料多就要研究吗?而大众的资料少就不研究了?其实造成大众的资料少的最主要的原因就是长期以来研究历史对于他们的不重视,也就是本题想要解决的问题。

第二部分可以在深化一下

快考试了吧?好好努力,杀鸡成功
We are sad today, and we will be sad for quite a while. We are not moving on. We are embracing our mourning. We are Virginia Tech ...

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发表于 2005-7-17 09:43:12 |只看该作者
抱抱conquer0824,好久没看到你出现了

你提议的结构比我的要有条理,另外关于历史研究那部分,研究少数人可以了解趋势,是因为有些名人可以代表大众的思想、特点,这个论述的确不充分,加上点-名人可以影响到历史事件的发生与发展;而资料的充足是另一个方面,即可以让研究者和学习者都方便。关于大众,除了参与、执行的作用外,还有就是大众是思想的土壤,因他们而形成了的历史背景有反过来对名人产生影响。不知道这样说好不好
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发表于 2005-7-17 09:55:09 |只看该作者
抱抱conquer0824,好久没看到你出现了
;P

出现了,只不过现在人太多,浪太大,很快的就淹死在人群中了。


另外关于历史研究那部分,研究少数人可以了解趋势,是因为有些名人可以代表大众的思想、特点,这个论述的确不充分,加上点-名人可以影响到历史事件的发生与发展;而资料的充足是另一个方面,即可以让研究者和学习者都方便。


可以参考同主体里面老外给的原因,
--easier for students to remember history
--allows students to appreciate specific characters and use them as role models
--educates students on important prominent figures in politics and history
至于名人可以影响到历史事件的发生与发展,可以放到第二部分,历史事件不是只有群众造成的,也离不开个人的作用。



关于大众,除了参与、执行的作用外,还有就是大众是思想的土壤,因他们而形成了的历史背景有反过来对名人产生影响。


关于大众,我也想不出更多的理由了,其实大众在历史事件中主要的作用就是执行,这一点就足够了,没有人执行你的命令,一切都是白搭。
We are sad today, and we will be sad for quite a while. We are not moving on. We are embracing our mourning. We are Virginia Tech ...

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RE: Issue48 同主题作业,限时失败。 看看吧,给个一句话的评价也好啊。。。 [修改]
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Issue48 同主题作业,限时失败。 看看吧,给个一句话的评价也好啊。。。
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