issue207 实在是写得乱七八糟, 都想吐了...

flfengUID: 2111823

Issue207  
------题目------
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.
------正文------

The speaker claims that culture is partially defined by rituals and ceremonies without which people's sense of who they are will diminish. This notion do own considerable merits from the saying of the definition of the culture. As to the belief of diminished sense of who the people are, I tend to show a different attitude.

First and foremost, many examples help to illustrate the defining role of rituals and ceremonies that plays in certain culture context. The spring festival of Chinese both in mainland China and other Chinese settlement territories gives them a clear idea of who they are and what is their origin while the Thanksgiving Day gives American the feeling of the survivors of the new continent and hearts and homes of the new established country and emerging culture.  Actually, through these set rituals and ceremonies, the people of a particular society group get much more opportunity to deeply think of their culture and civilization since, more or less, these rituals and ceremonies can be dated back to the prehistory time when the culture began to emerge. During The Duanwu festival of China, people will hold the tradition of dragon-boat racing to memorize Quyuan, a great patriot and politician thousands of years ago, which deeply shows a distinctive Chinese culture of the reverence to patriotism. Actually, the rituals and ceremonies are directly connected to some inner parts of ourselves what are shaped by the culture we live in and define and reveal certain part of the culture context.

Secondly, the content of culture do conclude the rituals and ceremonies. These two concepts develop in a compound interest law: culture makes rituals and ceremonies bearing distinctive contents and, rituals and ceremonies, in their turn, add to culture. If we look into the question in this way, it will be much easier for us to observe who rituals and ceremonies help defining the culture. Culture develops through quite a long time and in every period, especially when some great fundamental events, changes or even the disasters happened, the culture will increase its content, and very often, by means of rituals and ceremonies.  Ancient people in China saw flooding as the curse of the god and every year, they set up a set of ceremonies to please the god and pray for better future. This tradition, actually there are many other similar cases as well, gradually becomes part of the culture in the form of rituals and ceremonies. These rituals and ceremonies, which have distinctive forms and contents related to the culture distinction, help a in the definition of a certain culture.

As to "a diminished sense of who they are", maybe we should not narrow our minds to such an extent that only rituals and ceremonies make people to know who they are. Actually the culture, which contents much more than just the rituals and ceremonies, has many other aspects to help us know ourselves better. In this situation, language and arts are the two majors factors often considered. No one will doubt the cohesion power of language that unites the people of a particular culture together. By speaking the same words and sentences, the ideas are better communicated and feeling a more effectively transmitted. If a man, no matter where he and how old is, can speak his mother tongue, he can still finds his origin and knows who they are. A Chinese American will do this, and this can be safely extended to other countries and even continents.  Once a person met a man who can speak to him with his local language, soon the intimacy arouses and their tropics can broadly ranges from good old days of the childhood to the recent situations of the daily life because they know who they are and they have common grounding to choose anything to talk about.

Arts, which freely express the ideas and feeling fostered under a certain culture background, is another factor that help people keep sense of who they are.  If an individual, no matter how common he is, sees his the art works of his own culture, a deep respect and appreciation will rise from the bottom of the heart for the works, no matter a drawing or a novel, provide some fundamental principles believed by the culture and the its people. Standing in front of an ancient  sculpture of dragons or lions, a Chinese will often think of the his Chinese origin and appreciates the power and determination that the sculpture conveys. Different individual may have a different  understanding in this circumstance, what is always true is that all of them will remind themselves of who they are.

Based on the ideas above, the issue is much more clear. Surely rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. When we talk about the "sense of who they are", many factors, other than rituals and ceremonies, helps us know ourselves better.


本来想宪时写, 实在写不出来, 出去吃了午饭, 回来还是写不出来, 实在痛苦啊!!
写得我都想打人了......
想扔砖块的随便, 我再去看看别人的!!

alcestisUID: 2101945

The speaker claims that culture is partially defined by rituals and ceremonies without which people's sense of who they are will diminish. This notion do doesdown considerable merits from the saying of the definition of the culture. As to the belief of diminished sense of who the people are, I tend to show a different attitude.

First and foremost, many examples help to illustrate the defining role of rituals and ceremonies that plays in certain culture context. The spring festival of Chinese both in mainland China and other Chinese settlement territories?殖民地？？ gives them a clear idea of who they are and what is their origin while the Thanksgiving Day gives American the feeling of the survivors of the new continent and hearts and homes of the new established country and emerging culture.  Actually, through these set rituals and ceremonies, the people of a particular society group get much more opportunity to deeply think of their culture and civilization since, more or less, these rituals and ceremonies can be dated back to the prehistory time when the culture began to emerge. During The Duanwu festival of China, people will hold the tradition of dragon-boat racing to memorize Quyuan, a great patriot and politician thousands of years ago, which deeply shows a distinctive Chinese culture of the reverence to patriotism.能换个西方背景的例子就更好了 Actually, the rituals and ceremonies are directly connected to some inner parts of ourselves what are shaped by the culture we live in and define and reveal certain part of the culture context.

Secondly, the content of culture do conclude the rituals and ceremonies. These two concepts develop in a compound interest law: culture makes rituals and ceremonies bearing distinctive contents and, rituals and ceremonies, in their turn, add to culture. If we look into the question in this way, it will be much easier for us to observe who how rituals and ceremonies help defining the culture. Culture develops through quite a long time and in every period, especially when some great fundamental events, changes or even the disasters happened, the culture will increase its content, and very often, by means of rituals and ceremonies.  Ancient people in China saw flooding as the curse of the god and every year, they set up a set of ceremonies to please the god and pray for better future. This tradition, actually there are many other similar cases as well, gradually becomes part of the culture in the form of rituals and ceremonies. These rituals and ceremonies, which have distinctive forms and contents related to the culture distinction, help a in the definition of a certain culture.感觉例证有点牵强， 这个观点不是很好写

As to "a diminished sense of who they are", maybe we should not narrow our minds to such an extent that only rituals and ceremonies make people to know who they are. Actually the culture, which contents much more than just the rituals and ceremonies, has many other aspects to help us know ourselves better. In this situation, language and arts are the two majors factors often considered. No one will doubt the cohesion power of language that unites the people of a particular culture together. By speaking the same words and sentences, the ideas are better communicated and feeling a more effectively transmitted. If a man, no matter where he and how old is, can speak his mother tongue, he can still finds his origin and knows who they are. A Chinese American will do this, and this can be safely extended to other countries and even continents.  Once a person met a man who can speak to him with his local language, soon the intimacy arouses and their tropics topics can broadly ranges from good old days of the childhood to the recent situations of the daily life because they know who they are and they have common grounding to choose anything to talk about.这个例证 要加限定 比如在外国生活的人什么的，不然不符合实际阿

Arts, which freely express the ideas and feeling fostered under a certain culture background, is another factor that help people keep sense of who they are.  If an individual, no matter how common he is, sees his the art works of his own culture, a deep respect and appreciation不一定 我觉得这里说intimacy更好 或者说引发联想或者说比外国人有更深的理解什么的 毕竟不是所有人都欣赏本土艺术 will rise from the bottom of the heart for the works, no matter a drawing or a novel, provide some fundamental principles believed by the culture and the its people. Standing in front of an ancient  sculpture of dragons or lions, a Chinese will often think of the his Chinese origin and appreciates the power and determination that the sculpture conveys. Different individual may have a different  understanding in this circumstance, what is always true is that all of them will remind themselves of who they are.从例子看你的思路是艺术作品激发有共同文化背景的人民族自豪 从而让他们知道自己是谁 这段应调整一下，更加明确的指出你的中心

Based on the ideas above, the issue is much more clear. Surely rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. When we talk about the "sense of who they are", many factors, other than rituals and ceremonies, helps us know ourselves better.
写得还好阿
结构比较清楚语言也比较流畅
缺点是例子不够有力 分析句和例子的结合应加强
PS我病了两天回拍迟了 见谅