issue35

fanfanzozoUID：2114008

35. "No matter what the situation, it is more harmful to compromise one's beliefs than to adhere to them."
无论在什么样的情况下，折衷自己的信仰要比坚持有害。
Whether one should compromise his beliefs or adhere (to them) largely depends on what kind (of beliefs) they are. In my observation, it is wiser to compromise, even to give up, the evil beliefs and hold firmly to the noble ones.
Some of the beliefs are detrimental, in this respect, what you stick to give birth to damage. An apt illustration of this point is so called “Specie Circular” administration command, championed by Thomas Jefferson the third president of America who abhors speculation extremely. In retrospect, that command restrained the stock which the president hate ultimately, however in the meantime not only did it brought about a huge damage to the whole finance system of New York but also led America economic into stagnancy. Therefore, to change one’s mind with time is more beneficial than to insist on sightlessly. Further more, indulgence in one’s believe can even result in brutal human slaughter directly the totally net loss for humanity. Who can stand (bear) Hitler to persist on his belief and fly in the face of thousands of innocent Jews murdered by him? It is not sufficient only to compromise such beliefs and abnegation is the best and unique choice.
However, Persistence needed by noble beliefs gives us courage to endure the experiences of suffering and trial which is crucial on the way to become a man of value .Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela the son of a cacique in South Africa was willing in prison for 27 years for the will to emancipate his people and in the end became the first African president in his country. Martin Luther King the writer of “I have a dream” contributes all his life to the civil rights. The evolution of his ideas and motivations, and what his life and teachings meant a great deal to people, both black and white, during his lifetime and after. Ultimately on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners are able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood now. As W.M.Thackeray said, ” Dare and the world always yields. If it beats you sometimes, dare it again and again and it will succumb”.
Moreover, beliefs even make us dare to compromise. With the increasingly rapid pace of modern live, we seem to have more choices, while more choices we are given, more distracted we feel. In the condition, only our nice beliefs will instruct us to place priority compromising the subordinate. A convincing example is the drastic argument between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson on the method to pay the national debt. In order to found finance system for whole America, Hamilton designs a plan that substituted the new national debt for the old on the credit of government. As it turn out, if Hamilton hadn’t made a compromise that New York lost the chance to be the capital of the United State, his plan would not carry into execution and have no uncommon and prompt influence on American new economic consequently. Beliefs teach us to compromise rightly.
In the world lie good and evil, true and false, beautiful and ugly beliefs .Whatever the kinds of beliefs, one thing is certain: Try to pick up the right one and remain loyal to them, rather than compromise, to offer you a simple but enduring satisfaction.

dingzjUID：2101797

issue35

35. "No matter what the situation, it is more harmful to compromise one's beliefs than to adhere to them."
无论在什么样的情况下，折衷自己的信仰要比坚持有害。
Whether one should compromise his beliefs or adhere (to them) largely depends on what kind (of beliefs) they are. In my observation, it is wiser to compromise, even to give up, the evil beliefs and hold firmly to the noble ones.
Some of the beliefs are detrimental, in this respect, what you stick to give birth to damage. 这是两句话吧，怎么没有连接词？An apt illustration of this point is the so called “Specie Circular” administration command, championed by Thomas Jefferson the third president of America who abhors speculation extremely. In retrospect, that command restrained the stock which the president hate ultimately?是不是想强调极度(痛恨)的意思，这个词不合适吧, however, in the meantime not only did it brought about a huge damage to the whole finance system of New York but also led America economic into stagnancy. Therefore, to change one’s mind with time is more beneficial than to insist on sightlessly. Further more, indulgence in one’s believe belief can even result in brutal human slaughter directly the totally net loss for humanity.这句不太通，缺少所有格？ Who can stand (bear) Hitler to persist on his belief and fly in the face of thousands of innocent Jews murdered by him?这个例子举的不错!zan! It is not sufficient only to compromise such beliefs and abnegation is the best and unique choice.
However, Persistence needed by noble beliefs gives us courage to endure the experiences of suffering and trial which is crucial on the way to become a man of value .个人觉得这里转折有点过，前一段刚说某些bliefs不值得保留，这一段马上就转到讲persistence很重要怎么怎么，是否应该过渡一下？Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela the son of a cacique in South Africa was willing in prison for 27 years for the will to emancipate his people and in the end became the first African president in his country. Martin Luther King， the writer of “I have a dream” ，contributes all his life to the civil rights. The evolution of his ideas and motivations, and what his life and teachings meant a great deal to people, both black and white, during his lifetime and after. Ultimately on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners are able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood now. As W.M.Thackeray said, ” Dare and the world always yields. If it beats you sometimes, dare it again and again and it will succumb”.例子举的都很拽，学习学习
Moreover, beliefs even make us dare to compromise. With the increasingly rapid pace of modern live, we seem to have more choices, while more choices we are given, more distracted we feel. In the condition, only our nice beliefs will instruct us to place priority compromising the subordinate. A convincing example is the drastic argument between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson on the method to pay the national debt. In order to found finance system for whole America, Hamilton designs a plan that substituted the new national debt for the old on the credit of government. As it turn out, if Hamilton hadn’t made a compromise that New York lost the chance to be the capital of the United State, his plan would not carry into execution and have no uncommon and prompt influence on American new economic consequently. Beliefs teach us to compromise rightly.
In the world lie good and evil, true and false, beautiful and ugly beliefs. 主语？In this world, xxx,xxx,xxx, all coexist together.No mattter whatever the kinds of beliefs are, one thing is certain: Try to pick up the right one and remain loyal to them, rather than compromise, to offer you a simple but enduring satisfaction.

dr_greenUID：193584

Issue 35. "No matter what the situation, it is more harmful to compromise one's beliefs than to adhere to them."

Whether one should compromise his beliefs or adhere (to them) largely depends on what kind (of beliefs) they are. In my observation, it is wiser to compromise, even to give up, the evil beliefs and hold [hold on; MLTR 的歌里用的是这个词组 呵呵]firmly to the noble ones.

Some of the beliefs are detrimental, in this respect, [. What] what you stick to give birth to damage. An apt illustration of this point is so called “Specie Circular” administration command, championed by Thomas Jefferson [,] the third president of America who abhors [abhorred; 这个人应该已经死了吧。。。] speculation extremely. In retrospect, that command restrained the stock which the president hate ultimately,[. However,] however in the meantime not only did it brought about a huge damage to the whole finance system of New York but also led America [American] economic into stagnancy. Therefore, to change one’s mind with time is more beneficial than to insist on sightlessly. Further more, indulgence in one’s believe [belief] can even result in brutal human slaughter directly the totally net loss for humanity [是不是少了几个词？ 好像不通了；另外net loss是不是经济里的词呀 总觉得把它用在humanity上有种特理智有点冷血的感觉 汗///仅只阅读的感觉]. Who can stand (bear) Hitler to persist on his belief and fly in the face of thousands of innocent Jews murdered by him? It is not sufficient only to compromise such beliefs [, 分成两个分句或者两句话可能更符合英语的习惯] and abnegation is the best and unique choice.

However, Persistence [persistence] needed by noble beliefs gives us courage to endure the experiences of suffering and trial which is crucial on the way to become a man of value. Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela [,] the son of a cacique in South Africa [,] was willing [to be/ to stay/ to be trapped?; be willing to do好像更常用吧 啊也可能是我不知道你的这种用法] in prison for 27 years for the will to emancipate his people [,/. 强烈建议加逗号 或者分成两句] and in the end became the first African president in his country. Martin Luther King [,] the writer of “I have a dream”[,有时候加上逗号把限定成分这样分开 读者在读的时候会自然的停顿一下 感觉上就会有强调的作用 我是比较倾向这样分开的啦～] contributes all his life to the civil rights. The evolution of his ideas and motivations, and what his life and teachings meant a great deal to people [and his life and teaching meant … 是这个意思吗？], both black and white, during his lifetime and after. Ultimately on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners are able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood now. [引文记得加引号哦 至少后半句 虽然是有改动 还是很明显是M. L. K. 的文章，而且老美大概比我们更了这篇演讲的内容的] As W.M.Thackeray said, ” Dare and the world always yields. If it beats you sometimes, dare it again and again and it will succumb”.[狂赞～～～]
[这一段的例子都好赞哦～～特别是最后一句的结尾 既是证明又是总结 强的]

Moreover, beliefs even make us dare to compromise. With the increasingly rapid pace of modern live, we seem to have more choices, while more choices we are given, more distracted we feel. In the condition, only our nice beliefs [nice？] will [can] instruct us to place priority [这里是不是该有个连词什么的，还是后面的部分是状语？那place priority to 谁咧？] compromising the subordinate. A convincing example is the drastic argument between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson on the method to pay the national debt. In order to found finance system for whole America, Hamilton designs a plan that substituted the new national debt for the old on the credit of government. As it turn out, if Hamilton hadn’t made a compromise that New York lost the chance to be the capital of the United State, his plan would not carry into execution and have no uncommon and prompt influence on American new economic consequently. Beliefs teach us to compromise rightly.
[关于这一段 我个人觉得哦 如果是论证beliefs can make us dare to compromise，那么什么样的belief可以使得什么样的另一些beliefs被compromise掉了 似乎应该有所交代 相互冲突的beliefs之间的关系和比较如果可以经过论述加以阐明 我觉得比一个例证更有说服力一些；而且我想你来写这一段 也是因为看出了compromise 与hold on之间并非完全的不公存 所以想对两者的关系加以论述吧]

In the world lie good and evil, true and false, beautiful and ugly beliefs. Whatever the kinds of beliefs [whatever the kind of belief it is], one thing is certain: Try to pick up the right one and remain loyal to them, rather than compromise, to offer you a simple but enduring satisfaction.
[这个 最后的结尾吧 是这样的 从你的全文看出去 我能看到很多伟人的例子 每一个人的belief和作为都有很高的社会价值和历史意义 为什么你文章的落点是offer YOU … SATISFACTION呢]

[关于全文的问题 是个疑问啦 我对题目那个situation的理解是“情景”或者“情况”，从你的文章来看 不知道你是将situation 理解为noble/evil beliefs呢 还是没有管situation而从belief入手，个人觉得这样拆分有点跑题]
[另一个问题 咳咳 也是疑问。。汗  就是感觉你的例证里伟人事迹真是随手抓呀～～强咧羡慕中  就是文章读下来感觉上都是例子了 好像论证的形式比较单一（这个其实是我最常干的事情），分析的部分就缺一点]
第三个是建议啦 就是你的ts和例子之间 论点和论点之间 转换有些突然 不过我也没想出好的过度方法。。。]
[总之文章中有很好的例子啊 我要好好学习！！ ]
[加油！！]

翦瞳UID：184872

看看被改过的也好！
建议：肯定的放在前面，你的B1放在最后让步一下会更清楚。
例子很强，但论证不足，就是把例子和自己的观点再串起来。
你是不是用金山词霸查词啊？呵呵，我也是，这样不太好哦！

[ Last edited by 翦瞳 on 2005-7-26 at 01:00 ]