issue136 同主题写作 诚请各位战友 互拍

GladysryUID: 198609

这片同主题来的有些迟，在想提纲的时候也想了很久，不过最终还是把他给挤出来了。:o  请各位战友们帮忙看一下，各式意见我都会乐意接受:cool:  &有拍必回。

谢谢！

issue 136   The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very very rare.

We often hear people say that they have no choice but to do what, while some others always say that life is filled with chances. The statement presents the latter attitude while from my point of view, the assertion is fundamentally true but the speaker must make some unique limitations to the definition of "choice".

There are various meanings of the word "choice". From the act somebody choose to the opportunity of choosing someone has and sometimes it means situations or candidates people can select. Under different circumstances, the power people can have choices varies a lot.

Admittedly the situation that people have no choice do exist. In daily life, Students can frequently encounter such cases that the only one or two books they want have already been in circulation thus they have no choice but to wait. Businessmen sometimes have to change their flight because the one they are about to take has to be put off when meeting with bad weather. Tourists in certain tourist party have to follow the agency's instructions and soldiers must listen to the superior in they are in an errand. Obviously the absence of choice is a circumstance that can be frequently happened. And if we look back from the history, such circumstances that are absent of choice can be picked up much more easier than in modern life. In feudal society, when the emperor has unlimited power in a country, it is often said that if he sentence someone to death, the person has to be killed even if it is just because the emperor is wreaking his anger. During the second world war, Hitler's brutal governing made citizens of Germany have no choice for their lives but to obey everything while countries being invaded had only one choice, that was, fought against and protected their motherlands. Therefore in certain circumstances, the absence of choice do exist and such circumstances do not seem to be rare.

However, in a relativelly democratic country, in modern society, the absence of choice in people's life is a rare circumstance. The most probable reason for people who complain that life leaves them with "no choice" is that other choices for them do not seem so attractive as the one they have already chosen or they do not want to sacrifice anything to get potential choices. Young college students who are not satisfied with their major often say they are just consuming their youth but since what the society and their parents need is a certification to demonstrate their capability, they have no choice but continue. But in fact, it is just because they dare not give up what they already have and a possible stable life in the future. If they do switch to a field they are longing to and make every endeavour to get success, who can be sure that they are not the following Bill Gates? Moreover, even in extreme wretched and desperate situation, as long as a person is willing to change, possibilities can also be excavated. Here the most convincing example is Beethoven, who became dump in his middle age but also succeeded as a great musician. Therefore the most definite thing in life is that chances are everywhere,just as the advertisement says, "Nothing is impossible".

In sum, despite the fact that the absence of choice do occur in some arbitrary societies and some trivial circumstances, the statement that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance is fundamentally true because life is controlled by human beings themselves rather than so-called destiny.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-26 at 18:15 ]

xiaowenzi118UID: 202887

昨天正好也改了一篇136呢,交给我吧,比你早8天考,呵呵

xiaowenzi118UID: 202887

issue 136   The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very very rare.

We often hear people say that they have no choice but to do what, while some others always say that life is filled with chances( 笔误??). The statement presents the latter attitude while from my point of view, the assertion is fundamentally true but the speaker must make some unique limitations to the definition of "choice".

There are various meanings of the word "choice". From the act somebody choose to the opportunity of choosing someone has and sometimes it means situations or candidates people can select. Under different circumstances, the power people can have choices varies a lot. (看过有的人也用过这样的方式先用概念澄清, 个人感觉这里如果不仅仅解释Choice,而是解释什么是absence of choice会更好一点。两个以上就不是了)
Admittedly the situation that people have no choice do exist. In daily life, Students can frequently encounter such cases that the only one or two books they want have already been in circulation thus they have no choice but to wait. Businessmen sometimes have to change their flight because the one they are about to take has to be put off when meeting with bad weather. Tourists in certain tourist party have to follow the agency's instructions and soldiers must listen to the superior in they are in an errand. Obviously the absence of choice is a circumstance that can be frequently happened. （这一句话可以省去） And if we look back from the history, such circumstances that are absent of choice can be picked up much more easier than in modern life.（可以点一下在专制的社会中人们没有选择When it comes to society, especially in some autocratic societies, deprived the right of making their own choices, people always find they are out of choice） In feudal society, when the emperor has unlimited power in a country, it is often said that if he sentence someone to death, the person has to be killed even if it is just because the emperor is wreaking his anger. During the second world war, Hitler's brutal governing made citizens of Germany have no choice for their lives but to obey everything while countries being invaded had only one choice, that was, fought against and protected their motherlands. Therefore in certain circumstances, the absence of choice do exist and such circumstances do not seem to be rare.

However, in a relativelly democratic country, in modern society, the absence of choice in people's life is a rare circumstance. The most probable reason for people who complain that life leaves them with "no choice" is that other choices for them do not seem so attractive as the one they have already chosen or they do not want to sacrifice anything to get potential choices. Young college students who are not satisfied with their major often say they are just consuming their youth but since what the society and their parents need is a certification to demonstrate their capability, they have no choice but continue. But in fact, it is just because they dare not give up what they already have and a possible stable life in the future. If they do switch to a field they are longing to and make every endeavour to get success, who can be sure that they are not the following Bill Gates? Moreover, even in extreme wretched and desperate situation, as long as a person is willing to change, possibilities can also be excavated. Here the most convincing example is Beethoven, who became dump in his middle age but also succeeded as a great musician. Therefore the most definite thing in life is that chances are everywhere,just as the advertisement says, "Nothing is impossible".（有一个问题：这一段和上面那段是并列的吧，上面的那段提到了两个方面，而这一段直接从democratic开始可能不太好吧）In sum, despite the fact that the absence of choice do occur in some arbitrary societies and some trivial circumstances, the statement that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance is fundamentally true because life is controlled by human beings themselves rather than so-called destiny

总的来说不错哟！:vomit:
我也写过的，不过没有你的思路清晰，写出来找人看过，觉得有问题但说不出来。有空帮我看看问题所在吧。
:confused:https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ght=%2Bxiaowenzi118

GladysryUID: 198609

谢谢xiaowenzi,你这一改，我还真发现了不少问题。

我的第二段，虽然是想就一个定义来说明命题因为定义不明而不全对，但是却举出了她的全部情况，自己却没有限制，那么再看后文，又不是按照这个范围的限定思路来论述，让整个文章显得散乱，让人不知所云。这个一定要改。

第一个论述段，我认为思路还是很清晰，想说的也都说了出来，但是语言表达力太欠缺。（艾，这不是一日之功，要多加努力）。

第二个论述段，如果要使文章更紧凑，的确应该和上一段作出回应。要怎么加，我决定借用你的历史和今天对比引出未来那些trivial things more easily to be solved thus brings people more choices.你看可以么？

赫赫，不改不知道，一改吓一跳。（恩，其实我在看到星版主的那个last edited by^的时候就在想是怎么回事，发现了，可能是拿去做反例:L）