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[未归类] issue41 观点很新颖,请问不足的地方在哪里?先道个谢了! [复制链接]

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Golden Apple

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发表于 2005-7-29 10:20:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
41. "Such non-mainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science." 一些非主流的领域,如占星、算命以及通灵和超自然探索在社会中扮演着很重要的角色,它们 满足了那些主流科学满足不了的人类需求。(习作9,2005/07/28)☆☆☆

Is science the "religion" of modern times? Many people look to mainstream science to solve our problems, cure our diseases, improve our lives and save the world, unfortunately, mainstream science is not panacea and therefore sometimes the nonmainstream inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits come out to meet human needs and affect people’s life under some special conditions. In this sense, I fundamentally agree with the speaker’s assertion, however, such nonmainstream inquiries only serve as substitutes for mainstream science and the effect is not very large.

To illustrate my view, let us first retrospect to the nascent phrase of these nonmainstream disciplines in the human world and scrutiny the essence and motive behind them. In the early stage of human civilization, the limited knowledge that generalized from people's primary practical experience is unable to explain most of the natural phenomena and declare the principles for ancient people, but this circumstance does not prevent human race from creating a set of superstitious assumptions and explanations in order to satisfy people’s curiosity and calm the worry and fear. By far,through the accumulation of observations and conclusions, a relatively complete system that includes astrology, fortune-telling, psychic and paranormal pursuits has already formulated.And such non-mainstream areas of inquiry appears to play an important role in modern human life, since which satisfy people’s needs or explain some mysterious events, while science cannot tell the why. There are three main reasons for illustrating this:

First, they fear science, protesting that in their race for progress, scientists give too little consideration to the long-term social and environmental implications of their discoveries. Comparatively, this case barely happened in most of the marginal areas such as astrology, etc..For instance, a astrologer may say you will have ill lucks next year, but few people actually suffer from misfortunes later on.Secondly, these nonmainstream areas can meet people's curiosity for the future, although the content provided by them not necessarily comes true. For instance, astrology, as one of the oldest disciplines in the human society, has already developed a complete system that can be used to predict most of people's future by observing the shapes of the stars in the sky and hardly find anything that cannot be explained or understand to common person. Thereby, many people who have a good dream for their future may like to ask fortune-teller to predict their fortune.The third reason has to do with the fact that many things cannot be solved by contemporary science as we hope to, but nonmainstream in other ways can interpret the inherent relevance of some mysteries.

However, I can hardly agree that these areas of inquiry play a vital role in the society. The principle is quite simple: First, the nonmainstream inquiry is mainly believed by those uneducated or poor-educated people, who seek to achieve some inaccessible goal or satisfy the needs of vanity, but other individuals including self-confident persons or well-educated
people always have a bad faith for such contents. Secondly, as set of ideas based on theories put forth as scientific when they are not scientific, they lack sufficient credibility and standard system, thus they are incapable to compare with fields such as theology, and later science. Thirdly, such information is so vaguely presented and performed that ordinary people like me sometimes focus on them just for fun and scarcely believe the contents or even forget them soon after hearing. For example, By chance may some self-claimed fortune-teller say you will make a fortune next year, but actually careful scrutiny will reveal that these predictions are suitable to everyone.

In sum, this statement is justifiably in asserting that non-mainstream areas such as  astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuit can address human needs otherwise could not be addressed by contemporary mainstream subjects. However, they act only as a subsidiary role in human life.(640
)


写的很郁闷,欢迎大家指正!:):)

[ Last edited by polymath on 2005-7-29 at 13:48 ]
Mencius said,"When heaven is about to confer a great office on any man,it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil.It exposes his body to hunger………….By all these methods, it stimulates his mind, consolidates his character, and increases his efficiency".
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Golden Apple

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发表于 2005-7-29 11:05:42 |只看该作者
自己先来顶一下!快考试了!大家和斑竹都来拍砖啊!
:handshake拍完留下连接,定回拍!:victory:
Mencius said,"When heaven is about to confer a great office on any man,it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil.It exposes his body to hunger………….By all these methods, it stimulates his mind, consolidates his character, and increases his efficiency".

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板凳
发表于 2005-7-29 15:55:05 |只看该作者
明天再帮你看一篇,今天想休息,呵呵
谢谢你,虽然我只想亲吻一片雪花,你却给了我银色的世界。

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Golden Apple

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发表于 2005-7-29 16:01:39 |只看该作者
非常感谢!ahqiu能否将你的文章留下,学习学习

只有学习,才能进步!向所有帮俺修改过文章的GGJJDDMM表示深深的谢意
:hug::hug:
:handshake:handshake:handshake:handshake
Mencius said,"When heaven is about to confer a great office on any man,it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil.It exposes his body to hunger………….By all these methods, it stimulates his mind, consolidates his character, and increases his efficiency".

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发表于 2005-7-29 18:23:20 |只看该作者
我的这篇非常郁闷,你想看就狠狠拍吧,主要是说理和思路的问题
你的明天给你看,今天休息,hoho!
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ;highlight=%2Bahqiu
谢谢你,虽然我只想亲吻一片雪花,你却给了我银色的世界。

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发表于 2005-7-29 19:14:57 |只看该作者
先把outline 列出来撒
死脑细胞类
丫头我还活着吗??!!

本来,打算考试后要吃这个那个, 现在没胃口
      要到这里那里,现在没兴趣
      要买这个那个,现在没钱

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Golden Apple

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发表于 2005-7-29 19:32:43 |只看该作者
等会啥!偶在帮你看作文!学习中!;P;P
Mencius said,"When heaven is about to confer a great office on any man,it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil.It exposes his body to hunger………….By all these methods, it stimulates his mind, consolidates his character, and increases his efficiency".

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发表于 2005-7-31 17:24:47 |只看该作者
Is science the "religion" of modern times? Many people look to mainstream science to solve our problems, cure our diseases, improve our lives and save the world, unfortunately, mainstream science is not panacea and therefore sometimes the nonmainstream inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and(unnecessary) psychic and paranormal pursuits come out to meet human needs and affect people’s life under some special conditions. In this sense, I fundamentally agree with the speaker’s assertion, however, such nonmainstream inquiries only serve as substitutes for mainstream science and the effect is not very large(significant seems more acceptable).

To illustrate my view, let us first retrospect to the nascent phrase of these nonmainstream disciplines in the human world and scrutiny the essence and motive behind them. In the early stage of human civilization, the limited knowledge that generalized from people's primary practical experience is(was) unable to explain most of the natural phenomena and declare the principles for ancient people, but this circumstance does not prevent human race from creating a set of superstitious assumptions and explanations in order to satisfy people’s curiosity and calm the worry and fear(worries and fears). By far,through the accumulation of observations and conclusions, a relatively complete system that includes astrology, fortune-telling, psychic and paranormal pursuits has already (been) formulated.And such non-mainstream areas of inquiry appears to play an important role in modern human life, since which satisfy people’s needs or explain some mysterious events, while science cannot tell the why. There are three main reasons for illustrating this:

First, they(who?) fear science, protesting that in their race for progress, scientists give too little consideration to the long-term social and environmental implications of their discoveries. Comparatively, this case barely happened in most of the marginal areas such as astrology, etc..For instance, a(an) astrologer may say you will have ill lucks next year, but few people actually suffer from misfortunes later on(这样写有失偏颇,毕竟人总会有不走运的时候,要看forture teller在多大程度上预言了这种可能性,以及那些故弄玄虚的人有什么另外的用意等等).Secondly, these nonmainstream areas can meet people's curiosity for the future, although the content provided by them not necessarily comes true. For instance, astrology, as one of the oldest disciplines in the human society, has already developed a complete system that can be used to predict most of people's future by observing the shapes of the stars in the sky and hardly find anything that cannot be explained (to) or understand to(by) common person(people). Thereby, many people who have a good dream for their future may like to ask fortune-teller to predict their fortune(future? 不然尽量避免重复用词).The third reason has to do with the fact that many things cannot be solved by contemporary science as we hope to, but nonmainstream in other ways can interpret(个人感觉用reveal更好些) the inherent relevance of some mysteries. (这一段是对第二段论点的展开,不过有些驳论的句子可以放到下面.而且第一个和第三个理由可以概括成一个,这样显得更紧凑些)

However, I can hardly agree that these areas of inquiry play a vital role in the society. The principle is quite simple: First, the nonmainstream inquiry is mainly believed by those uneducated or poor-educated people, who seek to achieve some inaccessible goal or satisfy the needs of vanity, but other individuals including self-confident persons or well-educated people (other individuals who are well-educated or self-confident)always have a bad faith (我觉得有更地道的表述,不过不确信该怎样改,希望高手指点)for such contents. Secondly, as set of ideas based on theories put forth as scientific when(while) they are not scientific(可去掉), they lack sufficient credibility and standard system, thus they are incapable to compare with fields such as theology, and later science(不是很理解,希望polymath说明一下). Thirdly, such information is so vaguely presented and performed that ordinary people like me sometimes focus on[/u](可以用turn to,focus on 有些违背了下文just for fun的意思我觉得) them just for fun and scarcely believe the contents or even forget them soon after hearing. For example, By chance may some self-claimed fortune-teller say you will make a fortune next year, but actually (a) careful scrutiny will reveal that these predictions are suitable to everyone.(这个Issue的破题主要包括两个方面:一是nonmainstream是否在社会中享有重要的地位,这是事实性的问题;二是其是否能满足人类的某些特殊需求,以及怎样满足,而这是关于作用和价值的问题。我觉得这两点很容易混在一起写,但是分开论证更清楚些。本段第一个小论点是说事实的,后面两个却又回到价值上,感觉上力度不够集中。不知道说得对不对。)

In sum, this statement is justifiably in asserting that non-mainstream areas such as  astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuit can address human needs (which) otherwise could not be addressed by contemporary mainstream subjects. However, they act only as a subsidiary role in human life.(结尾有一点仓促,大部分是在repeat,不够简洁有力)
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发表于 2005-7-31 23:39:39 |只看该作者
多谢hwyirene的修改!:)你的建议我在一下慢慢回复!:)

Is science the "religion" of modern times? Many people look to mainstream science to solve our problems, cure our diseases, improve our lives and save the world, unfortunately, mainstream science is not panacea and therefore sometimes the nonmainstream inquiry such as astrology, fortune-telling, psychic and paranormal pursuits come out to meet human needs and affect people’s life under some special conditions. In this sense, I fundamentally agree with the speaker’s assertion, however, such nonmainstream inquiries only serve as substitutes for mainstream science and the effect is not very large(significant seems more acceptable).真是这样吗?非主流科学的影响力还是有局限的!

To illustrate my view, let us first retrospect to the nascent phrase of these nonmainstream disciplines in the human world and scrutiny the essence and motive behind them. In the early stage of human civilization, the limited knowledge that generalized from people's primary practical experience was unable to explain most of the natural phenomena and declare the principles for ancient people, but this circumstance does not prevent human race from creating a set of superstitious assumptions and explanations in order to satisfy people’s curiosity and calm their worries and fears. By far,through the accumulation of observations and conclusions, a relatively complete system that includes astrology, fortune-telling, psychic and paranormal pursuits has already been formulated.And such non-mainstream areas of inquiry appears to play an important role in modern human life, since which satisfy people’s needs or explain some mysterious events, while science cannot tell the why. There are three main reasons for illustrating this:

First, they(who?)some people fear science, protesting that in their race for progress, scientists give too little consideration to the long-term social and environmental implications of their discoveries. Comparatively, this case barely happened in most of the marginal areas such as astrology, etc..For instance, an astrologer may say you will have ill lucks next year, but few people actually suffer from misfortunes later on(这样写有失偏颇,毕竟人总会有不走运的时候,要看forture teller在多大程度上预言了这种可能性,以及那些故弄玄虚的人有什么另外的用意等等)你的疑问有道理,但我这里只是想说明这些预言不会使人们在今后受到伤害,即使有也是偶尔。不用考虑你那个问题吧?.Secondly, these nonmainstream areas can meet people's curiosity for the future, although the content provided by them not necessarily comes true. For instance, astrology, as one of the oldest disciplines in the human society, has already developed a complete system that can be used to predict most of people's future by observing the shapes of the stars in the sky and hardly find anything that cannot be explained (to) or understand to(by) common person(people). Thereby, many people who have a good dream for their future may like to ask fortune-teller to predict their fortune(future? 不然尽量避免重复用词)fortune这里是运气的意思!不是future.The third reason has to do with the fact that many things cannot be solved by contemporary science as we hope to, but nonmainstream in other ways can interpret(个人感觉用reveal更好些)科学都解释不了!这些非主流文化能揭露出本质的东西来?应该都是一种解释! the inherent relevance of some mysteries. (这一段是对第二段论点的展开,不过有些驳论的句子可以放到下面.而且第一个和第三个理由可以概括成一个,这样显得更紧凑些)第一个和第三个理由不一样啊!请教一下合起来什么意思啊?

However, I can hardly agree that these areas of inquiry play a vital role in the society. The principle is quite simple: First, the nonmainstream inquiry is mainly believed by those uneducated or poor-educated people, who seek to achieve some inaccessible goal or satisfy the needs of vanity, but other individuals including self-confident persons or well-educated people (other individuals who are well-educated or self-confident)原句是包括这2类人,但不一定就指这2类人呀?我觉得还是用including比较好!always have a bad faith (我觉得有更地道的表述,不过不确信该怎样改,希望高手指点)哪里有问题?have a good/bad faith for是在字典上查的,也请高手再指点!for such contents. Secondly, as set of ideas based on theories put forth as scientific when they are not scientific这个句子不会错!, they lack sufficient credibility and standard system, thus they are incapable to compare with fields such as theology, and later science(不是很理解,希望polymath说明一下)解释一下:从as开始,由于这类思想是依据科学方法提出但非科学的理论,所以它们缺乏足够的置信度和标准体系,从而导致它们不可能与一些纯理论的领域,比如科学抗衡。. Thirdly, such information is so vaguely presented and performed that ordinary people like me sometimes focus on(可以用turn to,focus on 有些违背了下文just for fun的意思我觉得)你的建议我采纳!前天才写了一篇用focus的,记得太熟了! them just for fun and scarcely believe the contents or even forget them soon after hearing. For example, By chance may some self-claimed fortune-teller say you will make a fortune next year, but actually (a) careful scrutiny will reveal that these predictions are suitable to everyone.(这个Issue的破题主要包括两个方面:一是nonmainstream是否在社会中享有重要的地位,这是事实性的问题;二是其是否能满足人类的某些特殊需求,以及怎样满足,而这是关于作用和价值的问题。我觉得这两点很容易混在一起写,但是分开论证更清楚些。本段第一个小论点是说事实的,后面两个却又回到价值上,感觉上力度不够集中。不知道说得对不对。)最后一个也是说事实的。

In sum, this statement is justifiably in asserting that non-mainstream areas such as  astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuit can address human needs (which)that也行吧? otherwise could not be addressed by contemporary mainstream subjects. However, they act only as a subsidiary role in human life.(结尾有一点仓促,大部分是在repeat,不够简洁有力)
主要是想照应开头和中心意思,所以没怎么变!

不知道我的答复你还有什么疑问没有解决,请再提出来!谢谢:)
Mencius said,"When heaven is about to confer a great office on any man,it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil.It exposes his body to hunger………….By all these methods, it stimulates his mind, consolidates his character, and increases his efficiency".

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RE: issue41 观点很新颖,请问不足的地方在哪里?先道个谢了! [修改]
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issue41 观点很新颖,请问不足的地方在哪里?先道个谢了!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-308092-1-1.html
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