issue103 创新思维的观点，请大家提供意见！

polymathUID: 179557

先表示感谢了！:victory::):handshake
103. "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives." 只有在历史研究与我们的日常生活相关的前提下，历史研究才有价值。（习作10，2005/07/31）☆☆☆☆
论点：
1.        历史有大有小，论大，它是一个民族文化的重要组成部分，学习历史可以丰富我们对其它民族文化的了解，同时培养对本民族文化的自豪感。论小，它是我们每个人刚刚经历过的事情。研究历史可以帮助我们归纳总结，发现成功的经验，同时避免再犯失败的错误。例如：
2.        历史研究的价值和意义本来就具有扩展性，它不会局限于某个特定的时代和特殊的事物身上，只要善于发现，历史研究就会服务于我们的日常生活。例如：
3.        历史的研究还应该考虑长远利益。人无远虑，必有近右。仅仅通过研究历史来改善现实生活，不是最明知的选者。例如：实际上，历史研究更应注重它的长期效应。或许今天我们忽视的东西就是我们未来想要寻找和解决的问题。例如；
总结：
History is a large precious deposits. During the study the history, if one fix his eyes only on the small part that is relevant to our daily lives, he will possibly ignore the value that the rest and larger one has and miss many valuable things such as knowledge, experiences and  wisdom. In this sense, I strongly disgree with the speaker’s assertion and here are three main reasons for that.

First of all, history can be distinguished as micro-history and macro-history.The former has a wide range that belonging to an important part of national legacy, and studying such history can enrich ones’s depository of knowledge about other national cultures, and meantime cultivate a sense of pride to his mother national-culture.This process and result is obviously valuble. While the latter refers to the past things we just did or experienced, study this history can help us conclude or summarize:On the one hand, one could find the way to success and go on succeeding;On the other hand, one could avoid mistakes that results in fail ure from then on.It also has a important value .

Next, the study of history on its essence possesses a capability of extending its value and significance in contrast to confining it to certain times or particular people. Provided careful study and active thought, one can possibly learn some knowledges from the study of history and serve his or her daily life. Moreover, by studying history especially those might seem to beyond our daily lives, we human beings can evaluate our status more objectively and more incisively in the process of human development. As a result,it is usually happened that the deeper understanding we acquire in the studying, the more sagacious decisions we make in the present. To illustrate my idea, one need look no further than the study of the First World War and the Second World War. Why do many people love to study the history of both wars? The fact is that we study such history not necessarily because we are now in the war state or in the war hazard, but for human beings must try the best to avoid such human catastrophes from happening again.

The last but not least, the study of history should pay as enough attentions on the long-term interest as on our daily lives. As an old Chinese saying goes, “Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble.” If we don't have a plan for the future, and just take a inclined study of history that focus rolely on our daily lives, what we ingore as useless today can possibily turn out to be some problem that we must attempt to care and solve tomorrow. The example of the relationship between human beings and the nature would vividly illustrates this. Beijing, as the capital of China, has been afflicted by sand-storm in recent years. If our citizens only place more considerations on their daily lives, just wearing a gauze mask can do everything well. However, in order to make a through preventing for sand-calamity and benefit the existence of the whole beings and our offsprings, the government must study some good examples about sands-fixed or sands-preventing in the history and then spread this advanced experiences or technologies. Meanwhile, ordinary citizens should also study the history and learn some knowledges about how to protect the environment and take active part in planting trees. In short,it is the best choice if we allocate ample space on our future plan in the study of history, after all, long-term values seems more appealing.
In the final analysis, the value of history itself has exceeded the definition in the issue topic. The place which should be noticed by us is not only the value to the extent that it is relevant to our day-to–day lives lives but also the original value and extended value of the history that beyonds our daily lives. Moreover, when the subjects studied are reaching far into the future, the study of history can be more valuable and contribute more to our society as a whole.(678)

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-31 at 22:29 ]

OceanDUID: 2118730

占座

OceanDUID: 2118730

History is a large precious deposits[deposit]. During the study of the history, if one fix[es] his eyes only on the small part that is relevant to our daily lives, he will possibly ignore the value that the rest and larger one has and miss many valuable things such as knowledge, experiences and  wisdom. [这句话说得不太好，虽然能明白意思，但是觉得不地道。如果前面没有用smaller，后面就不要用larger了，既然事情按大小分，就不要用rest了。] In this sense, I strongly disgree [disagree] with the speaker’s assertion and here[there]are three main reasons [for that.]

First of all, history can be distinguished as micro-history and macro-history. The former has a wide range that belonging to an important part of national legacy, and studying such history can enrich ones’s [ones] depository of knowledge about other national cultures, and meantime[meantime去掉] cultivate a sense of pride to his mother national-culture. This process and result is obviously valuble[valuable]. While the latter refers to the past things we just did or experienced, study[learning] this history can help us conclude or summarize. On the one hand, one could find the way to success and go on succeeding;On the other hand, one could avoid mistakes that results in failure from then on. It also has a[an] important value.[大概的意思我能明白，不过，前者应该是宏观，后者是微观吧？]

Next, the study of history on its essence possesses a capability of extending its value and significance in contrast to confining it to certain times or particular people. Provided careful study and active thought, one can possibly learn some knowledges[knowledge不可数] from the study of history and serve his or her daily life. Moreover, by studying history especially those might seem to beyond our daily lives, we human beings can evaluate our status more objectively and more incisively in the process of human development. As a result, it is usually happened that the deeper understanding we acquire in the studying, the more sagacious decisions we make in the present. To illustrate my idea, one need look no further than the study of the First World War and the Second World War. Why do many people love to study the history of both wars? The fact is that we study such history not necessarily[？是过去不必要还是现在？] because we are now in the war state or in the war hazard, but for human beings must try the best to avoid such human catastrophes from happening again.

The last but not least, the study of history should pay as enough attentions on the long-term interest as on our daily lives. As an old Chinese saying goes, “Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble.” If we don't have a plan for the future, and just take a[an] inclined study of history that focus rolely[?] on our daily lives, what we ignore as useless[不用加个名词？] today can possibily[possibly] turn out to be some problem that we must attempt to care and solve [宾语]tomorrow. The example of the relationship between human beings and the nature would vividly illustrates[illustrate] this. Beijing, as the capital of China, has been afflicted by sand-storm in recent years. If our citizens only place more considerations on their daily lives, just wearing a gauze mask can do everything well. However, in order to make a through preventing for sand-calamity and benefit the existence of the whole beings and our offsprings[offspring], the government must study some good examples about sands-fixed or sands-preventing in the history and then spread this advanced experiences or technologies. Meanwhile, ordinary citizens should also study the history and learn some knowledges[不可数] about how to protect the environment and take active part in planting trees. In short,it is the best choice if we allocate ample space on our future plan in the study of history, after all, long-term values seems more appealing.

In the final analysis, the value of history itself has exceeded the definition in the issue topic. The place which should be noticed by us is not only the value to the extent that it is relevant to our day-to–day lives but also the original value and extended value of the history that beyonds[beyong是副词，不是动词] our daily lives. Moreover, when the subjects studied are reaching far into the future, the study of history can be more valuable and contribute more to our society as a whole.[是不是背过国际演讲家？:lol]

[OceanD小结：首先我觉得你写完之后自己并没有好好检查一下，你犯的低级错误有点多啦，我们并不是真的交一份原始答卷到网上，所以我觉得写完自己先应该给自己改改，其实我一直主张用Word练，很多人都说它的挑错功能不符合真实考试场景，但其实每个人经常犯的错误拼错的单词是差不多的，你在word上写，它能把错误及时反映给你，我觉得是最重要的，下回就不会犯那么多了。或者你写完之后把你的作文可以复制到上面，看看错误的情况。]
[下面提一点实际的：
1思路挺好，还有北京沙尘暴的例子想的很好
2我个人认为你语言功底还需进一步提高，有人认为长句最重要，但我认为不要追求长句，句子说明白最重要，有些刻意的长句式在别扭（不是指你，你没那么严重，但也要注意）
3.尽量别用痕迹太重的ARGU模版
4.论证不够彻底深刻，第三段还可以]
[我也再提不出啥了，我们俩其实挺像的，我每次也论证不深刻，而且我还想不出例子。我的作文，上回被批的，唉……大家一起努力吧。希望你别介意，我可能拍狠了，只是希望我们共同进步，我们俩是同一天考，时间不多了，多包涵吧]

[ Last edited by OceanD on 2005-7-31 at 18:10 ]

OceanDUID: 2118730

对了，我忘记说了，如果你修改完这篇，还有兴趣叫我帮你看的话，我很乐意的。

hwyireneUID: 200039

先占个座，晚上帮你改

我觉得你第二个和第三个分论点其实都是在谈历史研究的价值不局限于解决当今问题，同时也有以史为鉴的目的，关于战争史的研究是为了将人类的未来从战争中解救出来，而沙尘暴的例子论证了可以通过研究历史未来并且从中找到可借鉴的方法。如果按照这个思路，再发掘得深刻一些，会更好一点，不然两个论点接近，则在别的方面论述不够充分，文章就显得有点单薄了。
比较保险的写法还是把这两点概括精练一下，再从第二段里提炼出一到两个切入点进行分析。第二段本身带有一点总论的性质，最好有所侧重
还有就是同意OceanD的观点，argu的痕迹重了一点，body的语言还比较挥洒，但argu式的模板使它减色了
个人意见哈:)

[ Last edited by hwyirene on 2005-7-31 at 20:41 ]

polymathUID: 179557

OceanD提示的很对呀！偶写完之后自己都没有好好检查一下，犯了这么多低级错误。:O真有点:$
按照OceanD提供的参考意见，重新修正了一遍！大家看看还有什么不足的地方！:)

History is a large precious deposit. During the study of the history, if one fixes his eyes only on the small part that is relevant to our daily lives, he will possibly ignore the value of surplus larger one 偶这里想表达的是剩下的一大部分。and miss many valuable things such as knowledge, experiences and  wisdom.In this sense, I strongly disagree with the speaker’s assertion and there are three main reasons for that.

First of all, history can be distinguished as micro-history and macro-history. The former has a wide range that belonging to an important part of national legacy, and studying such history can enrich ones’ depository of knowledge about other countries' national cultures, and cultivate a sense of pride to his mother national-culture. This process and result is obviously valuable. While the latter refers to the past things we just did or experienced, studying this history can help us conclude or summarize. On the one hand, one could find the way to success and go on succeeding;On the other hand, one could avoid mistakes that results in failure from then on. It also has an important value.

Next, the study of history on its essence possesses a capability of extending its value and significance in contrast to confining it to certain times or particular people. Provided careful study and active thought, one can possibly learn some knowledge from the study of history and serve his or her daily life. Moreover, by studying history especially those might seem to beyond our daily lives, we human beings can evaluate our status more objectively and more incisively in the process of human development. As a result, it is usually happened that the deeper understanding we acquire in the studying, the more sagacious decisions we make in the present. To illustrate my idea, one need look no further than the study of the First World War and the Second World War. Why do many people love to study the history of both wars? The reason is that we study such history not necessarily[？是过去不必要还是现在？] 现在啊！全句的意思是我们研究这段历史，并不是由于我们现在处于战争状况或身受战争威胁的需要，而是因为because we are now in the war state or in the war hazard, but for human beings must try the best to avoid such human catastrophes from happening again.

The last but not least, the study of history should pay as enough attentions on the long-term interest as on our daily lives. As an old Chinese saying goes, “Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble.” If we don't have a plan for the future, and just take an inclined study of history that focus solely[笔误] on our daily lives, what we ignore today can possibly turn out to be certain problem that we must attempt to care tomorrow. The example of the relationship between human beings and the nature would vividly illustrate this. Beijing, as the capital of China, has been afflicted by sand-storm in recent years. If our citizens only place more considerations on their daily lives, just wearing a gauze mask can do everything well. However, in order to make a through preventing for sand-calamity and benefit the existence of the whole beings and our offspring, the government must study some good examples about sands-fixed or sands-preventing in the history and then spread this advanced experiences or technologies. Meanwhile, ordinary citizens should also study the history and learn some knowledge about how to protect the environment and take active part in planting trees. In short,it is the best choice if we allocate ample space on our future plan in the study of history, after all, long-term values seems more appealing.

In the final analysis, the value of history itself has exceeded the definition in the issue topic. The place which should be noticed by us is not only the value to the extent that it is relevant to our day-to–day lives but also the original value and extended value of the history that beyond our daily lives. Moreover, when the subjects studied are reaching far into the future, the study of history can be more valuable and contribute more to our society as a whole.[是不是背过国际演讲家？]
呵呵！什么东东？偶比喜欢演讲的！不过没背过

:victory:一期修改完毕！多谢OceanD和hwyirene的宝贵建议！关于argu的痕迹重了一点，因为已经写习惯了！不好改！已经有很多热心的G友帮我指出了！可就是改不过来呀！昨晚问了几位嘉宾，好像ETS并不很在乎这个，主要是逻辑分析和语言运用上！这个偶还要进一步提高！真是太羞愧了！以后写了一定先检查一遍再贴出来！要不face都没了？

OceanDUID: 2118730

much better!