issue136 同主题

星星之火UID: 2107154

Issue136  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：46分27秒     466 words
从2005年7月4日9时58分到2005年7月4日10时46分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
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Is the circumstance that people have no chioce rare? The speaker believe so, and in general I agree with his assertion. However, I disagree the point when it comes to a unequal circumstance or to a condition under press of the public or the society.

I agree the speaker's assertion that in most events people would face many choice to choose instead of the absence of choice. With the development of our society, we are provided more possibilties to chose. When we are young we have the choice of going to kingdergarden; when we go to school we have the opportunity to choose among different school ; when we graduate from our high school; we begin to face the choice of seeking for a job or doing further study in college or university. It seems that we are growing up with selecting choices we have unceasingly. As a matter of fact, our lives are fullfiled with so many choices that it seems impossible to anybody to have no choice in any event.

Unfortunately, when it comes to some unfair circumstance, people indeed lose the right and opportunity to choose. Going back to America in the 1950's, black people were suffering from discrimination in the society. Few of them had the choice to be high educated or occupy a good position in a job, even when they took a bus, they had to sit in the back without any other choice. Consider another case. In many countries, women are considered as a weak group. They do not have a equal right to make their choices. For instance, when they are seeking for a job, without accounting for their abilities to do the job, many employers refuse their choice to be a member of that company. Such occurances happen often in our daily lives. Only when the discrimination of black people in America has been eliminated and the women actually acquire a equal opportunity to work, can they have the freedom to make a choice. However accounting for these and some other unequality, it seems to be impossible for every person to enjoy the right to choose.

Furthermore, the needs of the public would cancel the freedom of some person to make any choice especially in the field of politics. For example, because of the wishes for freedom of American people, Washington guided the Revolution War; knowing the significance of independence, Mahatma Gandhi would rather lead the nonviolent resistance than take any other choice; under the press of being agressed, the British Premier Churchill fought against the Germany; and under the press of the public, Nixon had to put forward his resignation. In general, politicians are so deeply influenced by the public that sometimes it is impossible for them to make any other choice but to follow the desire of the public. So when it comes to political field, absence of choice occurs at frequently.

In sum, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion that in most event people would have many choices to take. Yet, when we confront some unfair circumstances or we have to accout for the desiration of the public, few choices even none would provided for us.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-5 at 02:48 ]

amanda1011UID: 2106668

Issue136  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：46分27秒     466 words
从2005年7月4日9时58分到2005年7月4日10时46分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
Is the circumstance that people have no chioce rare? The speaker believe so, and in general I agree with his assertion. However, I disagree the point when it comes to a unequal circumstance or to a condition under press of the public or the society.

I agree the speaker's assertion that（跟第一段有点重复了） in most events people would face many choice（choices） to choose instead of the absence of choice. With the development of our society, we are provided more possibilties to chose.（头两句也基本重复） When we are young we have the choice of going to kingdergarden（这句没体现出选择）; when we go to school we have the opportunity to choose among different school（schools） ; when we graduate from our high school; we begin to face the choice of seeking for a job or doing further study in college or university. It seems that we are growing up with selecting choices we have unceasingly（这句表达的不清楚）. As a matter of fact, our lives are fullfiled with（full of） so many choices that it seems impossible to anybody to have no choice in any event.

Unfortunately, when it comes to some unfair circumstance, people indeed lose the right and opportunity to choose. Going back to America in the 1950's, black people were suffering from discrimination in the society. Few of them had the choice to be high educated（不是这样说吧？不如直接说进入高等学校） or occupy a good position in a job（这个也不对，in a job？）, even when they took a bus, they had to sit in the back without any other choice. Consider another case.（这里加个连词比较好，转入下一个例子了） In many countries, women are considered as a weak group. They do not have a（an） equal right to make their choices. For instance, when they are seeking for a job, without accounting for（这个词组用得不恰当） their abilities to do the job, many employers refuse their choice（拒绝她们的选择？） to be a member of that company. Such occurances happen often in our daily lives. Only when the discrimination of black people in America has been eliminated and the women actually acquire a equal opportunity to work, can they have the freedom to make a choice. However accounting for these and some other unequality, it seems to be impossible for every person to enjoy the right to choose.

Furthermore, the needs of the public would cancel the freedom of some person to make any choice especially in the field of politics. For example, because of the wishes for freedom of American people, Washington guided the Revolution War; knowing the significance of independence, Mahatma Gandhi would rather lead the nonviolent resistance than take any other choice; under the press of being agressed, the British Premier Churchill fought against the Germany; and under the press of the public, Nixon had to put forward his resignation. In general, politicians are so deeply influenced by the public that sometimes it is impossible for them to make any other choice but to follow the desire of the public. So when it comes to political field, absence of choice occurs at（去掉） frequently.（这段我觉得只有最后一个尼克松的例子还比较合适，前几个应该算正面的例子，用来说明那些领导人没得选择，似乎不太合适。他们并不是没有选择，只是遵循人们的意愿。没选择的含义比较轻微。）

In sum, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion that（这样的表达全文出现了三次，适当考虑换一些其他说法吧） in most event（大多数时候不是这样说的吧？我也突然想不出怎么表达了） people would have many choices to take（take不恰当）. Yet, when we confront some unfair circumstances or we have to accout for the desiration of the public, few choices even none would （be）provided for us.

（总得来说，文章结构没什么大的逻辑问题。只是语言上，遣词造句还要斟酌。例子有几个觉得不够有说服力。）