Issue48 有拍必回！

udoUID: 2114276

[fly]Issue48  有拍必回！[/fly]
------摘要------
作者：udo    共用时间：44分9秒     486 words
从2005年7月7日10时3分到2005年7月7日10时44分
------题目------
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.
------正文------
【提纲】
firstly,名人和普通人之间的关系很复杂
in one sense 名人的命运由大众决定：例子nixon
in another sense 普通人的命运能changed by some powerful men's decision
chinese culture revolution
secondly,历史研究还和资料有很大关系，历史学家手中ordinary people的资料相对较少，因此自然对他们研究较少。

Human beings are social animals. Therefore, the history is a complex process being affected by all the people whoever is famous or ordinary. Besides, the study of history is a problem not only related to the importance of historical characters but also to the useful record information, which must be taken into consideration of historians.

Firstly,undoubtedly, the relationship between great people and ordinary people are too complex to tell who is the leading actor in the significant events and trends.  I will demonstrate this point of view in two aspects discussed below. In one sense, the famous people's fate can reflect the ordinary people's will. Only when the leader's summons serves people's basic interest, the leader can be a true leader. Otherwise, the people will choose another wise people to replace him or her. An egregious illustration of this point is that President Nixon's withholding of information about his active role in the Watergate cover-up. His behavior demonstrated a concern for self-interest above the broader interests of the democratic system that granted his political authority in the first place. So many ordinary people came up to reveal this scandal, such as the journalists of Washington Post and 'deepthroat' who was proved to be the No. 2 in FBI at that time; finally, the public opinion pressure led to the resignation of Richard Nixon.

In another sense, the ordinary people's fate can be greatly changed by some powerful individual's decisions. For example, many Chinese city youth went to the villages to study how to farm instead of studying in schools during the Great Cultural Revolution, which began in 1966 and lasted for nearly ten years, just because Communist Party Chairman Mao Zedong asked them to do so. As a result, many people lost the most precious time of their life to learn literature and science and their fates are also greatly changed because of the ten-year experience in rural.

Secondly, in spite of historians should research both famous ones and the majority people in a certain time, the studies are mainly based on the materials recorded by former people, from which we can easily track down the famous few, not the majority of ordinary people. We can easily find as much information of the famous people as we want by simply entering his or her name in google website on the Internet or by borrowing a biography from the local library, or by watching a relative movie or a documentary, etc. But how can we track ordinary people's life? The historians are willing to do more research on the majority of people at a certain time, but they have not enough materials to support their study.

To sum up, both the groups of people and the famous few make the most significant events and trends in history. In addition, the objective difficulties hindered the historians to do more research on majority of the ordinary ones.

alcestisUID: 2101945

The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.
------正文------
【提纲】
firstly,名人和普通人之间的关系很复杂
in one sense 名人的命运由大众决定：例子nixon
in another sense 普通人的命运能changed by some powerful men's decision
chinese culture revolution历史潮流在那里？我们不是要讨论名人和普通人的关系而是讨论他们和历史的关系
secondly,历史研究还和资料有很大关系，历史学家手中ordinary people的资料相对较少，因此自然对他们研究较少。你提纲中的第二点谈到的是为什么overemphasis on individual的问题可能偏了

Human beings are social animals. Therefore, the history is a complex process being affected by all the people whoever is famous or ordinary. Besides, the study of history is a problem not only related to the importance of historical characters but also to the useful record information, which must be taken into consideration of historians.

Firstly,undoubtedly, the relationship between great people and ordinary people are too complex to tell who is the leading actor in the significant events and trends.  I will demonstrate this point of view in two aspects discussed below. In one sense, the famous people's fate can reflect你的这句话直译是名人的命运反映普通人的愿望 其实你的意思是名人的命运决定于他的行为是否合乎普通人的愿望 是否把话说得更明白好一点 the ordinary people's will. Only when the leader's summons serves people's basic interest, the leader can be a true leader. Otherwise, the people will choose another wise people 单数吧？ to replace him or her. An egregious illustration of this point is that President Nixon's withholding of information about his active role in the Watergate cover-up. His behavior demonstrated a concern for self-interest above the broader interests of the democratic system that granted his political authority in the first place. So many ordinary people came up to reveal this scandal, such as the journalists of Washington Post and 'deepthroat' who was proved to be the No. 2 in FBI at that time; finally, the public opinion pressure led to the resignation of Richard Nixon.

In another sense, the ordinary people's fate can be greatly changed by some powerful individual's decisions. For example, many Chinese city youth went to the villages to study how to farm instead of studying in schools during the Great Cultural Revolution, which began in 1966 and lasted for nearly ten years, just because Communist Party Chairman Mao Zedong asked them to do so. As a result, many people lost the most precious time of their life to learn literature and science and their fates are also greatly changed because of the ten-year experience in rural. 这一段如果展开更加深如的理论性论述就更好了 比如名人具有什么优势可以使他们能够左右普通人的命运

更重要的是在这一部分中 你根本没有提到究竟谁决定了历史的潮流！！！不过通过少量的修改应该可以拉回去 比如人民意志是历史潮流、伟人决定改变人民命运创造历史潮流等等 总之一定要对题目有所回应

Secondly, in spite of historians should research both famous ones and the majority people in a certain time, the studies are mainly based on the materials recorded by former people, from which we can easily track down the famous few, not the majority of ordinary people. We can easily find as much information of the famous people as we want by simply entering his or her name in google website on the Internet or by borrowing a biography from the local library, or by watching a relative movie or a documentary, etc. But how can we track ordinary people's life? The historians are willing to do more research on the majority of people at a certain time, but they have not enough materials to support their study.这一段没有有效回应题目的第一句 如果你点名这种情况的确表明了对名人的研究过于注重应该就可以了 只需要加上一两句话

To sum up, both the groups of people and the famous few make the most significant events and trends in history. In addition, the objective difficulties hindered the historians to do more research on majority of the ordinary ones.

要注意你的两部分论证之间的联系
最好加一个过渡句以表明两部分论证之间的逻辑关系

udoUID: 2114276

模考用的这个
倒计时作文练习v2.htm
精华去有，很好使，
过几天打算用pp3

udoUID: 2114276

alcestis，太感谢你了～～～tears
我就好像久病找到了良药。
今天上午写完这篇就一直觉得巨不爽
看了你给我改的，我发现还有救。
我会继续努力的。Thank you！

btw,为什么我老爱写跑题啊？sigh

G10T5UID: 2101393

本来都看完了，但是Word突然就自己关闭，昏死。懒得再重新写了。说点我的想法，语法上还是有不少问题的，但最重要的在于你严重跑题。所有三段都没有扣住题目，而是另起炉灶，然后跑去证明自己的观点。

题目是要评论名人和普通人是否在当今的历史学习中得到了适当的对待，而不是要你评论他们之间的关系，也不是要你评论学习历史（不过我觉得你的需要材料的观点还是可以写得，但不要单独一段，带一下就可以了。）。

至于你的主要观点：“名人和普通人之间关系复杂，互相影响”，虽然说这样写也可以但是要扣住题目，而不是只论证你的观点。你在文中虽然也提到了因为关系复杂，所以要都强调，但是也只是提到而已。而主要的第2，3段都不能说明这个观点。

对于你的第2段，水门事件的例子不好。你应该举一个正面的例子，例如说civil war。如果当时Lincoln只是凭自己的意愿强推废奴，那么人民又怎么会支持他并最终取得胜利。所以名人的决定或行为在一定程度上就是公众意愿的代表。

第3段的文化大革命的例子倒是可以，但仍然没有扣住题目。你可以接着说，只是对毛的强调，并不能反映他的政策对中国的影响，而只有通过记录这些普通青年，才可以反映。所以，历史学习不应该忽略普通人。

但说到底，我自己觉得就算按照我上面说的那样写，仍然有跑题之嫌。重写吧！

dapopiUID: 191236

看完了，感觉你还是跑了～～～～
按照你的逻辑思路，你看这样改可不可以：
firstly,现状和ordinary people本身的地位有关系，研究人民的困难很大
         1-1和资料有很大关系，历史学家手中ordinary people的资料相对较少
         1-2对ordinary people的研究不容易吸引眼球
secondly,历史伟人对特定历史潮流起了推动作用，所以研究他们更直接有效
thirdly 让步    名人的命运也是由大众决定：正面 反面可以各举一个例子
                              G10T5所说的civil war之类
                              Hiteler  
      


         
“名人和普通人之间的关系很复杂”这个最好就不要说了
这样好像不怎么跑了，希望不是在误导你··

yuemingjushiUID: 2108406

第一句似乎有照搬新概念之嫌，小心被判作弊。
感觉第一段回应不够有力，显然有名和无名的人都会影响到历史，但是题目要讨论的是研究应该侧重那一边。
中间正文上面已经分析得很清楚了
最后一段感觉也不太全面，最后那句完全可以展开自成一段作为论证。
还有，issue文章如果不到五百字的话可能太短了点

我也写了篇一样题目的
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1