issue154 寄托4人组 8.10 作业

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Issue154  
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：46分59秒     460 words
从2005年7月10日14时31分到2005年7月10日15时46分
------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
提纲：
同意
5．        学校教育的优势；不足
6．        家庭教育的意义
7．        社区的意义。
------正文------

The issue about how to educate our next generations never ceases debating. The speaker holds that all parties in education-- professional educators, parents, communities-- rather than single one alone, should get involved in this process; this is an opinion that I strongly agree with.

No doubt, the formal education system plays a crucial role in education. School education nowadays has been so fully developed that it is perhaps the most important and effective way to nurture children with knowledge and academic disciplining. On the one hand, school systems, from kindergarten to graduate school, provide a systematically chronic education for students who are in their prime period of learning. Text books are elaborately selected, including all the knowledge that society believes students should know, from the mystery of the cosmos to the evolvement of the earth, from the origin of people to the history of their ancestors. On the other hand, school education equips with a well trained army of professional educators, who are expert at burying these knowledge into students’ mind and arouse their inspirations as well. All these advantages warrant formal education the vital status in academic education.

Systematic and professional as it is, however, school education cannot cover all the significance of education. First, professional educators cannot replace parents' function in moral cultivation. It is often said that parents are the best teachers. This is especially true in that parents, usually the most intimate persons to children, greatly influence their children's moral judgments. It is by imitating and obeying parents that one formed basic value judgment at his or her very young age, which will probably continue to influence all their life.   We have heard so many celebrities contributing their success to their parents’ early edification: ???,George Washington,???, and so forth. This reminds us that neglecting parents’ role will certainly lead to a great loss. After all, students are not pieces of raw marble for school teachers to sculpture, but have been already cultivated under the influence of their parents.

Second, school education cannot replace the impact from community. “It needs the whole village to raise a child,” as an ancient African proverb goes, all the factors around children might influence them and thereby all these factors must be paid attention. Communities, perhaps the most important surrounding for a child beyond school and family, bear responsibility for education as well. For one thing, a good community might prevent students from contacting with negative factors such as drugs and crimes, and provide a healthy environment for the growth of young children. For another, communities can have a positive function as “extended schools” for student to practice their knowledge learned at school or even to learn what they cannot get from school. School education might be too intensive on academic disciplines; while communities can teach them other abilities they will need. By engaging community activities such as joining volunteer groups and charity donation campaigns, for example, students can get involved in the real society, meeting more people, facing more challenge, and gradually learning the skills to communicate, to cooperate, to negotiate, etc., which are indispensable to fulfill their goals when they left school and begin their careers.

In the final analysis, school education is far from being sufficient to achieve every goal of education: knowledge learning, morality cultivating, and socialization??? preparing. The function of professional educators is undoubtedly significant and irreplaceable; nevertheless, the endeavors from families and communities should not be forgotten as well, since all of them--not any single one--make up the full sense of education.


587 words

lychee_columbiaUID: 198238

lychee_columbiaUID: 198238

Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
提纲：
同意
5．        学校教育的优势；不足
6．        家庭教育的意义
7．        社区的意义。
------正文------

The issue (about)of how to educate our next generations never ceases debating. The speaker holds that all parties in education-- professional educators, parents, communities-- rather than single one alone, should get involved in this process; this is an感觉上用the比较好 opinion that I strongly agree with.第一段很好呢，简单，明了

No doubt, the formal education system plays a crucial role in education. School education nowadays has been so fullywell，用fully会不会绝对了一点 developed that it isbecomes perhaps the most important and effective way to nurture children with knowledge and academic disciplining什么叫做academic disciplining? 不好意思，偶孤陋寡闻的说. On the one hand, school systems, from kindergarten to graduate school, provide a systematically chronic education for students who are in their prime periodperiods of learning. Text books are elaborately selected, includingcontaining all the knowledge that society believes students should get to know, from the mystery of the cosmos to the evolvement of the earth, from the origin of people to the history of their ancestors.有时候这种排比也挺有效果的哦：） On the other hand, school education equips with a well trained armygroup,用army好像稍微有点过了 of professional educators, who are experts at buryingbury?我觉得用implant或者impart比较好一点 these knowledge into students’ mindbrain and arouse their inspirations as well. All these advantages warrant formal education the vital status in academic education.

Systematic and professional as it is, however, school education cannot cover all the significance of education.挺经典的用法，学习！ First, professional educators cannot replace parents' function in moral cultivation. It is often said that parents are the best teachers. This is especially true in that parents, usually the most intimate persons to children, greatly influence their children's moral judgments. It is by imitating and obeying parents that one formed basic value judgment at his or her very young age, which will probably continue to influence through all their lifelives.   We have heard so many celebrities contributing their success to their parents’ early edification: ???,George Washington,???,想不到随便编问题不大的啊 and so forth. This reminds us that neglecting parents’ role will certainly lead to a great loss. After all, students are not pieces of raw marble for school teachers to sculpture, but have been already cultivated under the influence of their parents.

Second, school education cannot replacecover the impact from community. “It needs the whole village to raise a child,” as an ancient African proverb goes, all the factors around children might influence them and thereby all these factors must be paid attention to. Communities, perhaps the most important surrounding for a child beyond school and family, bear responsibility for education as well. For one thing, a good community might prevent students from contacting with negative factors such as drugs and crimes, and provide a healthy environment for the growth of young children. For another, communities can haveplay a positive functionrole as “extended schools” for student to practice their knowledge learned at school or even to learn what they cannot get from school. School education might be too intensive on academic disciplines; while communities can teach them other abilitiesskills they will need. By engaging community activities such as joining volunteer groups and charity donation campaigns, for example, students can get involved in the real society, meeting more people, facing more challenge, and gradually learning the skillsdeveloping the ability to communicate, to cooperate, to negotiate, etc., which are indispensable to fulfill their goals when they left school and begin their careers.

In the final analysis, school education is far from being sufficient to achieve every goal of education: knowledge learning, morality cultivating, and socialization??? preparingsocial capability developing. The function of professional educators is undoubtedly significant and irreplaceable; nevertheless, the endeavors from families and communities should not be forgotten as well, since all of them--not any single one--make up the full sense of education.写得很不错，结构和内容很和谐~~学习啊~~

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

谢谢指正！不过这篇内容太空洞了，没有找到具体的例子来充实，所以不推荐：（

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

taken
I will come to revise it after supper

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

issue154 寄托4人组 8.10 作业

Issue154  
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：46分59秒     460 words
从2005年7月10日14时31分到2005年7月10日15时46分
------题目------
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
提纲：
同意
5．        学校教育的优势；不足
6．        家庭教育的意义
7．        社区的意义。
------正文------

The issue about how to educate our next generations never ceases debating. The speaker holds that all parties in education-- professional educators, parents, communities-- rather than single one alone, should get involved in this process; this is an opinion that I strongly agree with.

No doubt, the formal education system plays a crucial role in education. School education nowadays has been so fully developed that it is perhaps the most important and effective way to nurture children with knowledge and academic disciplining. On the one hand, school systems, from kindergarten to graduate school, provide a systematically chronic education for students who are in their prime period of learning. Text books are elaborately selected,这里不如说些关于课程设置的，或者是课本的编排的仅仅是select有点weak including all the knowledge that society believes students should know, from the mystery of the cosmos to the evolvement of the earth, from the origin of people human race to the history of their ancestors.to its long process of progress。感觉如果用historyof ancesstors有点怪 On the other hand, school education equips with a well trained army of professional educators, who are experts at burying instill or impart these knowledge into students’ mind and arouse their inspirations as well. All these advantages warrant formal education the vital status in academic education.

Systematic and professional as it is, however, school education cannot cover all the significance有点怪的说法 of education. First, professional educators cannot replace parents' function in moral cultivation. It is often said that parents are the best teachers. This is especially true in that parents, usually the most intimate persons to children, greatly influence their children's moral judgments. It is by imitating and obeying 去了好点parents that one formed basic value judgment at his or her very young age, which will probably continue to influence all through their life.   We have heard so many celebrities contributing their success to their parents’ early edification: ???,George Washington,???, and so forth. This reminds us that neglecting parents’ role will certainly lead to a great loss. After all, students are not pieces of raw marble for school teachers to sculpture,carve but have been already cultivated under the influence of their parents.

Second, school education cannot replace the impact 我暂时也想不到用哪个词代替，但是replace the impact似乎不恰当from community. “It needs the whole village to raise a child,”这句话是不是it takes a whole。。。而不是needs ？as an ancient African proverb goes, all the factors factors around children might influence them and thereby all these factors must be paid attention重复了，建议删去. Communities, perhaps the most important surrounding environment for a child beyond school and family, bear responsibility for education as well. For one thing, a good community might prevent students from contacting with negative factors也是觉得有点怪：） such as drugs and crimes, and provide a healthy environment for the growth of young children. For another, communities can have a positive function as “extended schools” for student to practice their knowledge learned at school or even to learn what they cannot get from school.这句话阐述的很经典 School education might be too intensive on academic disciplines; while communities can teach them other abilities they will need. could not get in school。 By engaging in community activities such as joining volunteer groups and charity donation campaigns, for example, students can get involved in the real society, meeting more people, facing more challenge, and gradually learning the skills to communicate, to cooperate, to negotiate, etc., which are indispensable to fulfill their goals help them better adjust to the society when they left school and begin their careers.

In the final analysis, school education is far from being sufficient to achieve every goal of education: knowledge learning, morality cultivating, and socialization??? preparing. The function of professional educators is undoubtedly significant and irreplaceable; nevertheless, the endeavorscontributions from families and communities should not be forgotten as well, since all of them--not any single one--make up the full sense of education.

1。总体上结构都没有啥大问题，
2。但是读完给我的感觉是有的地方是略微艰涩了一点，没有你前几天写的那么流利似的：）

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

请教一下：
1。all one‘s life不可以用么？
2。be expert at，expert做adj可以么？
3。？？？的地方是我想不出其他的例子。
4。it takes a whole village.. 赞！疯狂英语里希拉里的话。
5。像吸毒这样的社会负面因素怎么说呢？
6。better adjust to the society,赞！