Argument179 G-89-互助社8.11日同主题作文 欢迎拍砖！

hwyireneUID: 200039

这篇错误很多呢，写了这么多，还超时了，大家帮忙看看吧，哪些是可以合并起来只挑错不用展开的，哪些是可以忽略不写的，拜托多多给建议，谢谢啦！:handshake

argu 179
The following is a memorandum written by the director of personnel to the president of the Cedar Corporation.
'It would be a mistake to rehire the Good-Taste Company to supply the food in our employee cafeteria next year. It is the second most expensive caterer in the city. In addition, its prices have risen in each of the last three years, and it refuses to provide meals for people on special diets. Just last month three employees complained to me that they no longer eat in the cafeteria because they find the experience 'unbearable.' Our company should instead hire Discount Foods. Discount is a family-owned local company and it offers a varied menu of fish and poultry. I recently tasted a sample lunch at one of the many companies that Discount serves and it was delicious—an indication that hiring Discount will lead to improved employee satisfaction.'
------正文------
In the memo from the director of personnel to the president of the Cedar Corporation, the director suggest that their company break the contract with the Good-Taste Company (GT) and hire the Discount Foods (DF) to improve its employees' satisfaction with the cafeteria. To substantiate his suggestion he cites that the price of food offered by GT is high in contrast to the poor quality of its quality of food and service. Also he points out that DF has a varied menu as well as a good taste to satisfy the need of the employees. Though seemingly logical at first glance, several flaws in the memo render the article unpersuasive.

To begin with, the author unfairly judges the price of the GT's food as too high and still on arising, however, he fails to take into account of the conditions of the whole market. Though the price of GT's food is the second expensive, maybe it's still low compared to the prices of other commodities and affordable to the Cedar, Co. And it's entirely possible that the rising of the price is due to a entire rising of the cost, for example, the material, the price of the labor force, and the price for renting and decorating, thus it's reasonable to put up its price to maintain profit. Unless a careful study of the market, we are not convinced that the high price is just aiming at earning more profit.

The second problem concerns with the author's claim that GT's food can not meet the need of the whole group of employee, as fact shows that some special diets are refused to be provided and several employees have already complained about the taste of the food. But without referring to the specific needs of some employees, we cannot judge out that whether these needs are plausible, and it's quite possible that the special diets they require are hard to prepare. Another case is that the three employees' taste is quite insufficient to represent the whole of the employees, as there lacks evidence about the number of the employees eating in the cafeteria, and whether the opinions reflected by the three people are only of their own or standing for the majority. Maybe the larger part of the employees is consent with the food provided, as appetite differs from everyone.

What's more, the memo points out that DF is able to offer a variety of food which contain both fish and poultry, and thus can meet the variety of tastes of all the employees. But fish and poultry themselves can not stand for a rich variety, actually it's probable that they are just what the employees complained of, nor are they tantamount to the special diets which GT has failed to provide. Further more, as it's a fact that so far only the director has tasted the food of DF and commented on it, common sense informs me that if the three persons' taste cannot represent the whole group, nor can the only one's, and maybe the food of DF is just prepared for the author in order to satisfy him alone. Under such circumstance the evidence is far from valid at all.

Finally, even if the food and service of DF is indeed satisfactory, there are still other factors to ensure the recommendation to be persuasive. As there are no information about the price of the food of DF, we can not strike a fair comparison between the two companies, and maybe DF has the highest, or just as high a price, as GT, at best. Without ruling out the possibility that there are other food companies which are as well as, or even more, competent than these two, and without comparing them on the entire group of aspects, we can not effectively conclude that DF is the only choice.

In the final analysis, the memo, relies on several insufficient evidence, recommends a change of the food supplier of the company, and the conclusion is far from convincing. To bolster that the GT is incompetent to serve the cafeteria of the company, a more detailed study of the price and quality of the food should be performed, and a survey in the company's scale be conducted to test out the satisfactory of all the employees. And to better assess to the recommendation that the DF should take responsibility, we should also compared its food, price and service in a wider choice of food companies and unless sufficient evidence proves that it's really better than all the others, can we accept it as the company's food supplier.

petto_yUID: 176198

In the memo from the director of personnel to the president of the Cedar Corporation, the director suggest that their company break the contract with the Good-Taste Company (GT) and hire the Discount Foods (DF) to improve its employees' satisfaction with the cafeteria. To substantiate his suggestion he cites that the price of food offered by GT is high in contrast to the poor quality of its quality of food and service. Also he points out that DF has a varied menu as well as a good taste to satisfy the need of the employees. Though seemingly logical at first glance, several flaws in the memo render the article unpersuasive.很标准的开头啊，挺好的，不过如果时间怕不够的话可以稍微简略一点。

To begin with, the author unfairly judges the price of the GT's food as too high and still on arising, however, he fails to take into account of the conditions of the whole market. Though the price of GT's food is the second （加most）expensive, maybe it's still low compared to the prices of other commodities and affordable to the Cedar, Co. And it's entirely possible that the rising of the price is due to a entire rising of the cost, for example, the material, the price of the labor force, and the price for renting and decorating, thus it's reasonable to put up its price to maintain profit. Unless a careful study of the market, we are not convinced that the high price is just aiming at earning more profit.觉得结论不该是说“more profit”， 而是它不一定expensive，而且不一定比D贵。这样才能挑战它的结论。

The second problem concerns with the author's claim that GT's food can not meet the need of the whole group of employee, as fact shows that some special diets are refused to be provided and several employees have already complained about the taste of the food. But without referring to the specific needs of some employees, we cannot judge out that whether these needs are plausible, and it's quite possible that the special diets they require are hard to prepare. Another case is that the three employees' taste is quite insufficient to represent the whole of the employees, as there lacks evidence about the number of the employees eating in the cafeteria, and whether the opinions reflected by the three people are only of their own or standing for the majority. Maybe the larger part of the employees is consent with the food provided, as appetite differs from everyone. 这段挺充分的，还可以说一下有特殊要求的比例是多少，如果少的话就没有必要换了

What's more, the memo points out that DF is able to offer a variety of food which contain both fish and poultry, and thus can meet the variety of tastes of all the employees. But fish and poultry themselves can not stand for a rich variety, actually it's probable that they are just what the employees complained of, nor are they tantamount to the special diets which GT has failed to provide. Further more, as it's a fact that so far only the director has tasted the food of DF and commented on it, common sense informs me that if the three persons' taste cannot represent the whole group, nor can the only one's, and maybe the food of DF is just prepared for the author in order to satisfy him alone. Under such circumstance the evidence is far from valid at all.感觉这段和上一段可以合起来，写“口味”的问题。不过分开也挺好，而且direct的口味意见我本来也想写的，后来来不及了，就没写


Finally, even if the food and service of DF is indeed satisfactory, there are still other factors to ensure the recommendation to be persuasive. As there are no information about the price of the food of DF, we can not strike a fair comparison between the two companies, and maybe DF has the highest, or just as high a price, as GT, at best. Without ruling out the possibility that there are other food companies which are as well as, or even more, competent than these two, and without comparing them on the entire group of aspects, we can not effectively conclude that DF is the only choice.
（这个价格问题可以和第一合起来写的，可以短一点了）

In the final analysis, the memo, relies on several insufficient evidence, recommends a change of the food supplier of the company, and the conclusion is far from convincing. To bolster that the GT is incompetent to serve the cafeteria of the company, a more detailed study of the price and quality of the food should be performed, and a survey in the company's scale be conducted to test out the satisfactory of all the employees. And to better assess to the recommendation that the DF should take responsibility, we should also compared its food, price and service in a wider choice of food companies and unless sufficient evidence proves that it's really better than all the others, can we accept it as the company's food supplier
结尾很充分，不过感觉长的点，如果来不及可以写短一点的

帮我看一下我的argument好吗，和你的同主题的
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=316639