argument200 G89 重新振作后写的。来打击吧！绝处逢生~

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

Argument 200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

The argument concludes that the dentists, who want to advertise to attract more patients, should put their emphasis on the male consumers who are more apt to distress according to the statistics given by the author. And the dentists should emphasize both the anesthetic techniques and their sensitivity to nervous patients when the do the advertisement. However, the argument suffers many problems that render the author's recommendation unconvincing.

The threshold problem involved in this argument is about the statistics the whole argument based on. The author did not tell us who, when, and how the survey carried out. Unless the survey sampled a significant number of the patients and did randomly across the entire population which the sample representative the overall situation, the statistics are not reliable to support the author's conclusion. The small the amount of the sample is the less reliable the statistics are.

Second, even assume that statistics are reliable, the evidence that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist cited is also unwarranted. It is entirely possible that there are more than three times more men visiting dentists than women. Or perhaps dental problems with men are much more serious than women that are needed serious methods, like operations, to cure them. Moreover, fewer faint established nothing to women are not fear for curing. Other possibilities may also responsible to the smaller statistics, such as many women choose not to see dentists when they meet a dental problem because of fearing, or they also appear very nervous actions rather than faint. All above-mentioned, if true, will render the evidence that women are more brave than men, to be a meaningless and dubious one that can not lend any strong support to the recommendation.

Finally, depends on analysis upon, dentists can not increase their patients by only focus on men on the ground that women maybe the largest potential patients for they are more fearing distresses by avoiding visiting dentists. Even we assume that men are the largest potential group, only emphasize the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients contribute little to attract men. The most important condition is the techniques dentists have, not the anesthetic techniques only, for not all curing methods would use anesthesia.

To sum up, the author's argument did not perfectly support his recommendation. To convince me, the author should give authority and credible statistics to prove that more men than women fear visiting dentists on the basis of equally amount of numbers. To better assess the recommendation, we need more information about what advanced methods should be given out by the patients that may attract more of them to see doctors.

限时没成功，边写边改的。
感觉还行吧。
打击我吧！！！:handshake

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-12 at 11:22 ]

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

因为你的振作，纯支持！

我今天也要写这一篇，先不看。

polymathUID: 179557

Argument 200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

The argument concludes that the dentists, who want to advertise to attract more patients, should put their emphasis on the male consumers who are more apt to distress according to the statistics given by the author. And the dentists should emphasize both the anesthetic techniques and their sensitivity to nervous patients when the do the advertisement. However, the argument suffers manyseveral吧！many你批的完吗？;P problems that render the author's recommendation unconvincing.

The threshold problem involved in this argument is about the statistics the whole argument based on. The author did not tell us who, when, and how the survey carried out.3个w搞定，真简单！牛！ Unless the survey sampled a significant number of the patients and did randomly across the entire population which the sample representative the overall situation, 病句！仔细看下！要么改为is representative of ;要么改为representthe statistics are not reliable to support the author's conclusion. The smallsmaller the amount of the sample is the less reliable the statistics are.

Second, even assumeassuming that statistics are reliable, the evidence that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist cited is also unwarranted. It is entirely possible that there are more than three times more men visiting dentists than women. Or perhaps dental problems with men are much more serious than women that are needed serious methods, like operations, to cure them. Moreover, fewer faint established nothing to women are not fear for curing. Other possibilities may also responsible to the smaller statistics, such as many women choose not to see dentists when they meet a dental problem because of fearing, or they also appear very nervous actions rather than faint. All above-mentioned, if true, will render the evidence that women are more brave than men, to be a meaningless and dubious one that can not lend any strong support to the recommendation.一个字概括！好！:eek:

Finally, depends独立主格为什么不用动名词形式？老毛病！:mad: on analysis upon, dentists can not increase their patients by only focus on men on the ground that women maybe the largest potential patients for they are more fearing distresses by avoiding visiting dentists. Even we assume that men are the largest potential group, only emphasize the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients contribute little to attract men. The most important condition is the techniques dentists have, not the anesthetic techniques only, for not all curing methods would use anesthesia.

To sum up, the author's argument did not perfectly support his recommendation. To convince me, the author should give authority换个形容词！ and credible statistics to prove that more men than women fear visiting dentists on the basis of equally amount of numbers. To better assess the recommendation, we need more information about what advanced methods should be given out by the patients that may attract more of them to see doctors.

总评：你的Argument 已经到家了！恭喜！偶的还不行！所以虚心向你学习！:)

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Statistics跟survey还是有区别的。你是不是在套模版？

B1跟B2前半部分重合了！

serious methods, like operations, to cure them.

点子很好，但不具体。

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

关于statistic 和survey确实处理的不好。谢谢提醒。套魔板也是没办法的，时间太短了
谢谢楼上的意见，不过我没想出更具体的例子，不知楼上可否指教一二？

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Originally posted by mvpzhuang at 2005-8-13 10:01
关于statistic 和survey确实处理的不好。谢谢提醒。套魔板也是没办法的，时间太短了
谢谢楼上的意见，不过我没想出更具体的例子，不知楼上可否指教一二？

你比我的写得好多了！

我刚刚开始准备阿狗，抓狂中。。。

莫名NUID: 146481

关于survey,我认为还是可以质疑调查的范围和样本数量,以及数据处理方式
调查范围可以考虑,是在一个诊所调查,还是一个地区,或者是全国范围内
样本数量当然要考虑,否则,3:1=3:1,150:50还是3:1,但是后一组数据显然就比前一组有代表性

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

哎哟 版主哟  呵呵 好荣幸阿
谢谢版主的建议！！

mophanceUID: 195078

我也刚刚写完这篇，感觉楼上对于3：1的提示很重要，对于这篇攻击点不是很明显的文章来说，挺关键滴。呵呵

另外楼主的“ The author did not tell us who, when, and how the survey carried out.”虽然简练，是否能这样主动、被动混合的加在survey上呢？另外statistics和survey不尽相同吧？

希望高手指点一二，谢啦！
8.22 好运

starter_123UID: 2576008

handsome  writing!

AngelazrqUID: 2614827

希望大家能多多支持一下新人！