argument147 寄托4人组 8月15日作业

meautoUID: 2116250

Argument 147  The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
1 10-25岁的人最爱玩游戏  survey是否包括了这些人 调查的人数是否够大
2图象特征不是吸引玩家的唯一元素
3别的厂家卖的更便宜  宣传做的差 负担不起电脑的费用
人们还是不会买whirlwind的游戏。
------正文------
In this argument, the speaker asserts that by introducing new video games, the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to surge in the next few months. This argument, however, is unconvincing for several flaws.

To begin with, why should the advertising campaign of Whirlwind games target at people 10 to 25 years old is questionable. Although the arguer says 10 to 25 is the age-group most likely to play video games, no statistics or data prove so, which further put the cited survey into question. For one thing, we do not know whether people who answer the survey are mainly the video-game enthusiasts. For another, the arguer provides no specific number of the respondents. It is very likely that the overall number is too small to represent video-game players as a whole.

Even granted that Whirlwind should aim its advertising campaign at people 10 to 25 years old, the arguer unfairly assumes that life-like graphics, requiring the state-of-the-art computers, is the only feature that game players favors. However, this is not necessarily the case. Possible is that game players also concern the plots and the characters of video games. If Whirlwind video games are poor in nature on these features, video-game players may disincline to buy its products for they are not interesting and challenging enough. And customers’ dissatisfaction may even justify Whirlwind’s sales decline over the past two years.

Even if Whirlwind video games with life-like graphics are appealing to most video games players, it does not mean that Whirlwind will witness its sales climbing. Perhaps there are many other companies also marketing such games but with better quality and lower price. Perhaps Whirlwind's advertising program is ill-designed that people consequently avoid its products. Or perhaps people’s not buying is due to the prohibitively expensive computers up- to- date. Given either of the scenarios, the sales of Whirlwind video games would not increase dramatically as supposed to be.

In conclusion, this argument is unpersuasive in several aspects. To make it more convincing, this argument need to provide more information about the video games players, the nature of Whirlwind products and its advertising campaign, as well as the video games market.

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

占！

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Argument 147  The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have 【declined】 over the past two years, a recent【 survey】 of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked【 video-game players】 what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which【 require the most up-to-date computers.】 Whirlwind has just introduced 【several such games 】with an extensive 【advertising campaign 】directed at people【 10 to 25 years old, 】the age-group【 most likely to play】 video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to 【increase dramatically】 in the 【next few months.】'
1 10-25岁的人最爱玩游戏 [这点是可以攻击的] survey是否包括了这些人 调查的人数是否够大
2图象特征不是吸引玩家的唯一元素
3别的厂家卖的更便宜  宣传做的差 负担不起电脑的费用
人们还是不会买whirlwind的游戏。
------正文------
In this argument, the speaker asserts that by introducing new video games, the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to surge in the next few months. This argument, however, is unconvincing for[due to] several flaws.

To begin with, why should the advertising campaign of Whirlwind games target at people 10 to 25 years old is questionable.[right!] Although the arguer says 10 to 25 is the age-group most likely to play video games, no statistics or data prove so, which further put the cited survey into question. For one thing, we do not know whether people who answer the survey are mainly the video-game enthusiasts. [可以说一下反面的话，比如，兴许回答的对不是游戏大户。。。这样展开的更充分些]For another, the arguer provides no specific number of the respondents. It is very likely that the overall number is too small to represent video-game players as a whole.

Even granted that Whirlwind should aim its advertising campaign at people 10 to 25 years old, the arguer unfairly assumes that life-like graphics, requiring the state-of-the-art computers, is the only feature that game players favors. However, this is not necessarily the case. Possible is that game players also concern the plots and the characters of video games. If Whirlwind video games are poor in nature on these features, video-game players may disincline to buy its products for they are not interesting and challenging enough. [And customers’ dissatisfaction may even justify Whirlwind’s sales decline over the past two years.这句可以进一步展开。以前失败的教训？现在是否吸取了？]

Even if Whirlwind video games with life-like graphics are appealing to most video games players, it does not mean that Whirlwind will witness its sales climbing. Perhaps there are many other companies also marketing such games but with better quality and lower price. Perhaps Whirlwind's advertising program is ill-designed that people consequently avoid its products. Or perhaps people’s not buying is due to the prohibitively expensive computers up- to- date. Given either of the scenarios, the sales of Whirlwind video games would not increase dramatically as supposed to be.

In conclusion, this argument is unpersuasive in several aspects. To make it more convincing, this argument[arguer] need [needs]to provide more information about the video games players[the market], the nature of Whirlwind products and its advertising campaign, as well as the video games market.

[本文大致的结构还是不错的，但是我估计不能得六分，因为对一些细节攻击还可以再加强。我会这么列提纲：
1．        Survey。人数，代表性；10—25是否有数据支持？和survey是否重合？他们购买的总数是否占市场的主体？购买力？特别是，作为低年龄段，是否大多由家长来购买，而家长更考虑教育意义？
2．        Even granted。。，图形是否是唯一因素？本公司的情节设计、人物造型是否成功？为什么以前会失败，教训是否吸取了？特别是需要高级电脑这一点，是否有市场调查多少用户符合这一硬件标准？多少人会为此更新电脑?
3．        Even accepted… 在市场是否有竞争力？广告水平？对手？饱和？研发成本和利润？谁说立马就赚钱？]