argument25 G-89-互助社-15日同主题写作

keeyangUID：2120118

argument25

The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."


The mayor of the town of Hopewell recommends Hopewell should build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View in order to improve Hopewell’s economy. To justify this conclusion the author cites that after the construction of the golf course and resort hotel in Ocean View, tourism, business and tax revenues increased. The argument is problematic in several aspects.

First, the argument relies on the unwarranted assumption that the economic development is the result of the building of the golf course and the resort hotel. However, on evidence is provided to assure this. It is possible that Ocean View builds a new train station that makes its transportation very convenient and as a result the tourism here increase and more business choose it, causing the increasing tax revenues. Without ruling out this possibility and other likely factors accountable for the economic boom in Ocean View, the author can not confidently relies on this assumption to draw the conclusion that similar measure will boom Hopewell’s economy.

Second, even assuming that Ocean City’s economy benefit from the the golf course and the resort hotel, the author cannot concludes that such measure will also work in Hopewell by a false analogy. He fails to take into account many differences between these two districts relevant to the building and economy. Perhaps, the terrain of Hopewell is not fit for the construction of golf course and resort of hotel because its natural environment is good. If this is the case, the author cannot assumes that Hopewell should build such golf course and resort hotel.

Finally, the author fails to consider other means to boom the economy of Hopewell and thus cannot conclude that following Ocean View is the best way. It is possible that Hopewell develops ecological tourism or advertises its folk buildings. Without a careful comparison of these measures, I cannot accept the conclusion that the building of the golf course and the resort hotel is the optimal.

In sum, this argument is not convincing as it stands. To strength this conclusion the author should provide sufficient evidence to prove that the success of Ocean View also applies to Hopewell. To better assess this argument, I need more information about the natural resources and environment of Hopewell and its economy.

fairy115UID：200324

帮你顶一个！

keeyangUID：2120118

谢谢 fairy115

BTW: 你几号考作文？

melinda2036UID：2108044

帮你改哈

melinda2036UID：2108044

The mayor of the town of Hopewell recommends Hopewell should build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View in order to improve Hopewell’s economy. To justify this conclusion the author cites that after the construction of the golf course and resort hotel in Ocean View, tourism, business and tax revenues increased. The argument is problematic in several aspects.

First, the argument relies on the unwarranted assumption that the economic development is the result of the building of the golf course and the resort hotel. However, on evidence is provided to assure this. It is possible that Ocean View builds a new train station that makes its transportation very convenient and as a result the tourism here increase and more business choose it, causing the increasing tax revenues. Without ruling out this possibility and other likely factors accountable for the economic boom in Ocean View, the author can not confidently relies on this assumption to draw the conclusion that similar measure will boom Hopewell’s economy.我觉得这段的论证很单薄,因为arguer在这里把地方经济发展和goal course之间建立的causal relationship是很没道理,很没说服力的,觉得可以在这个部分多抬点杠.

Second, even assuming that Ocean City’s economy benefit from the the golf course and the resort hotel, the author cannot concludes that such measure will also work in Hopewell by a false analogy. He fails to take into account many differences between these two districts relevant to the building and economy. Perhaps, the terrain of Hopewell is not fit for the construction of golf course and resort of hotel because its natural environment is good. If this is the case, the author cannot assumes that Hopewell should build such golf course and resort hotel.感觉论证还是没展开.

Finally, the author fails to consider other means to boom the economy of Hopewell and thus cannot conclude that following Ocean View is the best way. It is possible that Hopewell develops ecological tourism or advertises its folk buildings. Without a careful comparison of these measures, I cannot accept the conclusion that the building of the golf course and the resort hotel is the optimal.

In sum, this argument is not convincing as it stands. To strength this conclusion the author should provide sufficient evidence to prove that the success of Ocean View also applies to Hopewell. To better assess this argument, I need more information about the natural resources and environment of Hopewell and its economy.
语言很到位,但是论证上虽然思路很清晰,批驳点也找得好但是论证的力度不够,要是时间够的话就多写点吧.

polymathUID：179557

melinda2036  辛苦了!:handshakekeeyang继续加油啊!:lol