Issue26旧建筑！

DanielTyanUID: 2114345

Topic: Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could better used for modern purpose. In such situation, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Historic buildings are not only the records of a society’s past but also a reflection of the courage, talent and virtuosity once possessed by the society. They showed us a clear timeline of art, aesthete and technique developed in the society. Modern development should give its way to the preservation of historic buildings.
Like a man has his past, a society has its history. Like a man could not forget his past, a society could not forget its history. But while a man has his photographs and videos to record his past years, a society has only the historic buildings to represent its elapsed history. History is so important to a society, it showed the prosperity of its past, arouse in the heart of its member a feeling of proud and patriotism. Traveling in Egypt and seeing the Great Pyramids, one could not help thinking about the glorious history of the ancient Egyptian Empire. Giant stones were polished and piled up to form the pyramids; countless sculptures and paintings were preserved on the walls of the Great Pyramids; priceless golden masks, jewelries were kept there; they all told us vividly how the ancient people create an outstanding civilization in spite of the fierce natural conditions in the mid-east desert. In some sense, they are not only the tomb of the Pharaoh--king of Egyptian Empire--but also the symbol of a great society ever existed in the desert. It is certain that every Egyptian would feel pride whenever they talk about the Great Pyramids. So how can we imagine such a historic building be pulled down just for modern development needs? How could anyone suggest the Chinese to pull down the Great Wall for a high-way? Old buildings are honors of a society, they are not dispensable.
Old buildings would always serve as monument of certain distinct character of a society. Each old building has it unique; it exemplified the distinctions of the social members. Compared to all the modern buildings of boring building material like cements, steels and glasses, historic buildings demonstrated a variety of material sources: woods, bricks, clay, stones, bamboos, thatches and even papers. Compared to all the modern buildings merely provide shelters for people, historic buildings, however, showed an atmosphere of creativity and virtuosity—because there were no modern technologies and machines, to build such buildings required more talent and techniques. It is safe to say that the historic buildings taught us a lesson of how to use our intelligence and limited power. And most of all, contrary to the uniform of all the modern buildings all around the world, historic buildings usually displayed a unique flavor of certain society: from the paper-walled, straw-grounded ancient wooden house in Hokkaido, Japan, to the white stone ancient temple in Tibetan area, from the clayed semi-dark old dwelling in Israel, to the pin-toped ancient church in Moscow, each showed a distinguishing feature of the society, each reflected how the ancient people there exerted their talent and strength to create all these monuments of arts. Just like our languages and skin color, historic buildings could tell each of society apart from another. Thus how could we, without see the historic buildings are the label of our society, blindly pull them down to meet the modern development needs?
On the other hand, if modern buildings are surely very necessary for a society, people could choose another location for them. Any modern planners with conscious mind would not think anything of damaging the historic buildings. It is easy to plan modern buildings elsewhere, and leave the historic buildings untouched, for modern buildings are still in planning, changing location only means to make some mends on the blue print or to invest more money for the changing of location. Furthermore, nowadays, the convenience of traffic might compensate for the change of the location. After all, compared to the danger of damaging our historic symbols, losing our cherished history and spiritual symbol and finally losing ourselves, investing more money to preserve the historical building is worthwhile.
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
首先感谢阅读，Issue到此结束，请评委留下大作链接，以便我回拍！谢谢！

[ Last edited by DanielTyan on 2005-8-16 at 00:52 ]

foreveraUID: 202035

Historic buildings are not only the records of a society’s past but also a reflection of the courage, talent and virtuosity once possessed by the society. They showed us a clear timeline of art, aesthete and technique developed in the society. Modern development should give its way to the preservation of historic buildings.这是开头吗?很有个性...不过好象没有明显的提出自己的观点.
Like a man has his past, a society has its history. Like a man could not forget his past, a society could not forget its history. But while a man has his photographs and videos to record his past years, a society has only the historic buildings to represent its elapsed history. 很好的类比...学习ingHistory is so important to a society, it showed the prosperity of its past, arouse in the heart of its member a feeling of proud and patriotism. Traveling in Egypt and seeing the Great Pyramids, one could not help thinking about the glorious 好词啊history of the ancient Egyptian Empire. Giant stones were polished and piled up to form the pyramids; countless sculptures and paintings were preserved on the walls of the Great Pyramids; priceless golden masks, jewelries were kept there; they all told us vividly how the ancient people create an outstanding civilization in spite of the fierce natural conditions in the mid-east desert. In some sense, they are not only the tomb of the Pharaoh--king of Egyptian Empire--but also the symbol of a great society ever existed in the desert. It is certain that every Egyptian would feel pride whenever they talk about the Great Pyramids. So how can we imagine such a historic building be pulled down just for modern development needs? How could anyone suggest the Chinese to pull down the Great Wall for a high-way? 很牛的反问Old buildings are honors of a society, they are not dispensable.
段落之间的连接词似乎欠缺一点Old buildings would always serve as monument of certain distinct character of a society. Each old building has it unique uniqueness; it exemplified the distinctions of the social members. Compared to all the modern buildings of boring building material like cements, steels and glasses, historic buildings demonstrated a variety of material sources: woods, bricks, clay, stones, bamboos, thatches and even papers. Compared to all the modern buildings merely provide shelters for people, historic buildings, however, showed an atmosphere of creativity and virtuosity—because there were no modern technologies and machines, to build such buildings required more talent and techniques. It is safe to say that the historic buildings taught us a lesson of how to use our intelligence and limited power. And most of all, contrary to the uniform of all the modern buildings all around the world, historic buildings usually displayed a unique      flavor of certain society: from the paper-walled, straw-grounded ancient wooden house in Hokkaido, Japan, to the white stone ancient temple in Tibetan area, from the clayed semi-dark old dwelling in Israel, to the pin-toped ancient church in Moscow, each showed a distinguishing feature of the society, each reflected how the ancient people there exerted their talent and strength to create all these monuments of arts. Just like our languages and skin color, historic buildings could tell each of society apart from another. Thus how could we, without see seeing the historic buildings are the label of our society, blindly pull them down to meet the modern development needs? 论述的很充分...不过好象有一点罗嗦的感觉.
On the other hand, if modern buildings are surely very necessary for a society, people could choose another location for them. Any modern planners with conscious mind would not think anything of damaging the historic buildings. It is easy to plan modern buildings elsewhere, and leave the historic buildings untouched, for modern buildings are still in planning, changing location only means to make some mends on the blue print or to invest more money for the changing of location. Furthermore, nowadays, the convenience of traffic might compensate for the change of the location. After all, compared to the danger of damaging our historic symbols, losing our cherished history and spiritual symbol and finally losing ourselves, investing more money to preserve the historical building is worthwhile.

每一段论述的都相当好....牛人...仰慕ing...收藏起来慢慢学习...不过还应该注意一些小的错误...而且没有结尾段稍微有点问题吧,开头处理的也不是太好....呵呵..个人意见~~

我的issue103:写的不好..多提意见~~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=319922

popsywinterUID: 2120302

总体来说写的很好，如果楼主是限时，没有查字典的情况下写出来这样的文章，我感觉6分都没问题啦。:eek:
有几个瑕疵我提一下，可以改进。
1。论证非常充分，但手法有点单一。整篇都在说历史建筑的意义，两段的内容有些重复。建议作者可以用正反论证，一段说其重要性，另一段假设一下，如果推掉旧建筑，会有什么负面影响。
2。是否可以作一点让步？因为作者列举的都是著名的古建筑，那是否只要是个老房子就要留下来呢？
3。语法上要注意下词性的运用和用词。用“and"并联起来的两个词要是同等的。例如，第一段。They showed us a clear timeline of art, aesthete and technique developed in the society.“aesthete”用在这里不是很合适，指的是人，前后的词指的都是物。
“History is so important to a society, it showed the prosperity of its past, arouse in the heart of its member a feeling of proud and patriotism. ”这句里也有些用词混乱。
“It is certain that every Egyptian would feel pride（Proud) whenever they talk about the Great Pyramids.”