ISSUE13 决战830拍砖组™"8月*日作业 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍

momo56288860UID: 191433

Issue13  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

这篇是前面写的，虽然不是高频，但是希望大家帮改一下，谢谢了
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：1分43秒     549 words
从2005年7月8日13时8分到2005年7月8日13时1分
------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------
When I was still a child,I can hear the great folk songs which were sinking in minority language by the local old people.But now,I can never hear those songs again because when I grow up,those old people had left us forever.And more worse,more young people and I even cannot speak in that language which is our mother language.I strongly claim that our government should take the action to protect their endangered languages.

In the first place,many of the world`s lesser-known languages are extincting.The lesser-known languages are the language which were made by different nations during they conflicted with the nature and multified their offsprings.However,with the development of globalization,in order to trade,comunicate,and cooperate, people gratually speak in the same language,such as English.According to a survey by the Beking University,there are 20000,000 populations in Beijing,but there are 70 percent of populations immigrating from different provinces of China,most of all these people,before they lived in Beijing,they speaked in their different local languages.But now,what they speak is all in Beijing language.we can even imagine that their offspring will speak in Beijing language and not in their local languages.So,a few people will instist ot speak in their local languages and after several years,many of endangered languages will dissppear.

In the second place,as we all know ,language is the important part of culture.Culture often make up of languages,words,and even tradition etc..If one culture lack of one of those elements given above,it will not a integral culture.There are many cultures in the world, and the culture, according to traditional standard, can devide into two cultures,Oriental culture and west culture.Not only Oriental culture compose of varies cultures,but also west culture make up of different cultures.In other words,there is no different world`s lesser-known languages,and there is no those two cultures. If all us speak in English in the future,the two cultures will melt into a culture,in another aspect,the diversity of culture is extincting.Therefore,to protect the endangered languages is to conserve the different cultures.

Finally but no least,not only governmment but also UNESCO should make efforts to preserve the  the world`s lesser-known languages that are facing vanishing.Every year,there are many culture bequest in the world be preserved by the UNSCO.what UNSCO do will benifit the culture,will make these culture be existing for long years, will let our offsprings can restropect our history,our culture and our progress of civilization.However,what the UNESCO had done is not enough,it need to protect not only the culture,but also the the component--language which make human being civilazation.If there is no various lesser-known languages,no civilization will make a great progress,and it is just as there are no streams for the spandid rives,there are no branch for the breatiful tree,there is no bricks for the great palace. UNESCO should do more devotion to the protecting of the lesser-known languages.

In sum,it is hard to imagine that all the endangered language will extinct.To protect the language is not only the ability of goverment and UNESCO,but also those of everyone of our humen being.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-26 at 11:51 ]

cruiserjiaUID: 2102784

When I was still a child,I can hear the great folk songs which were sinking（singing） in minority language by the local old people.But now,I can never hear those songs again because when I grow up,those old people had left us forever.And more worse,more young people and I even cannot speak in that language which is our mother language.I strongly claim that our government should take the action to protect their endangered languages.（这样开头挺新颖，不过也应该陈述一下题目的观点）
In the first place,many of the world`s lesser-known languages are extincting.The lesser-known languages are the language which were made by different nations during they conflicted with the nature and multified their offsprings.However,with the development of globalization,in order to trade,comunicate,and cooperate, people gratually speak in the same language,such as English.According to a survey by the Beking University,there are 20000,000 populations in Beijing,but there are 70 percent of populations immigrating from different provinces of China,most of all these people,before they lived in Beijing,they speaked（speak） in their different local languages.But now,what they speak is all in Beijing language.we can even imagine that their offspring will speak in Beijing language and not in their local languages.So,a few（不是a few，而是few） people will instist ot （insist on）speak in their local languages and after several years,many of endangered languages will dissppear.

In the second place,as we all know ,language is the important part of culture.Culture often make up of languages,words,and even tradition etc..If one culture lack of one of those elements given above,it will not a integral culture.There are many cultures in the world, and the culture, according to traditional standard, can be devided into two cultures,Oriental culture and west culture.Not only Oriental culture compose of varies cultures,but also west culture make up of different cultures.In other words,there is no different world`s lesser-known languages,and there is no those two cultures. If all of us speak in English in the future,the two cultures will melt into a culture,in another aspect,the diversity of culture is extincting.Therefore,to protect the endangered languages is to conserve the different cultures.

Finally but no least,not only governmment but also UNESCO should make efforts to preserve the  the world`s lesser-known languages that are facing vanishing.Every year,there are many culture bequest in the world be preserved by the UNSCO.what UNSCO do will benifit the culture,will make these culture be existing for long years, will let our offsprings can restropect our history,our culture and our progress of civilization.However,what the UNESCO had done is not enough,it need to protect not only the culture,but also the the component--language which make human being civilazation.If there is no various lesser-known languages,no civilization will make a great progress,and it is just as there are no streams for the spandid rives,there are no branch for the breatiful tree,there is no bricks for the great palace. UNESCO should do more devotion to the protecting of the lesser-known languages.

In sum,it is hard （用horrible，凸现感情色彩）to imagine that all the endangered language will extinct.To protect the language is not only the ability of goverment and UNESCO,but also those of everyone of our humen being.

文章没有提到保护小语种的负面影响，毕竟还是有的啊！
另外，我觉得你文章语言有些单一化，要使句式丰富一点就完美一些了。