argument117 "决战830拍砖组" 8月26日作业 限时，大家猛拍啊！

nanziUID: 2126362

Argument117: 456 words   30 minutes
Topic:
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'

Answer:
In this argument, the author recommends that  Valu-Mart(VM) stores should increase at all VM stores the stock of home office machines. The author believes that by adopting this course of action, the office-supply departments of VM will become the most profitable component of VM stores. To substantiate the recommendation, the author cites the result of a recent suvey that the home-office method are popular. A careful examination of the argument would reveal how groundless it is.

The threshole problem with the argument involves the survey itself. The survey cited to must be shown to be reliable before I can accept any conclusion based upon it. Lacking information that indacate the respondents are significant in amount, and representative of the overall office working population, no firm conclusion can be inferred based upon the suvey.In general, the less the sample the narrower the spectrum of ages, occupations, income and so on. Besides, whether people required to do much of their work at home have taken up a significant percentage in all office working population remains unknown. Without considering all of the foregoing factors that give rise to the commandation of home office, the author cannot confidently conclude that there is a rising potential command in home office equipment.

Even assuming that a rising commandation of home office facilities exists in current marcket, there is no guarrantee that by increasing stock of such commodity will bring considerable profit to VM stores. It is entirely possible that costumers prefer to other stores that supply with better home office equipment due to high quality and good fame. Moreover, Profit is not merely a function of revenue but costs. In order to adopting the proposed course of action, it requires stocking fee, and also transportation costs, without a thorough analysis of costs and profit, the author cannot draw firm conclusion that by increasing the stock of home office equipment will undoubtedly bring considerable profit to VM stores.

Finally, the author fails to provide details of other departments in VM stores. It is entirely possible that other stores are implementing more efficient methods to enhancing profit than office facility department. Without ruling out this and other factors, it renders no credibility to the conclusion that the office facility department of VM stores will be the most profitable department of VM stores.

In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To be better valid, the author should provide more information concerning the detail of the command in home office equipment, and to role out other factors that render the unpopularity of VM stores in home office supply. To better evaluate the argument, status quo of other department of VM stores should also be offered as a comparative with that of office facility department.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-26 at 17:50 ]

cruiserjiaUID: 2102784

In this argument, the author recommends that  Valu-Mart(VM) stores should increase at all VM stores the stock of home office machines. The author believes that by adopting this course of action, the office-supply departments of VM will become the most profitable component of VM stores. To substantiate the recommendation, the author cites the result of a recent suvey that the home-office method are popular. A careful examination of the argument would reveal how groundless it is.

The （用A，而不是The，最好前面加一个firstly或者To begin with）threshole problem with the argument involves the survey itself. The survey cited to (to在这里没用吧？）must be shown to be reliable before I can accept any conclusion based upon it. Lacking information that indacate the respondents are significant in amount, and representative of the overall office working population, no firm conclusion can be inferred based upon the suvey.In general, the less the sample the narrower the spectrum of ages, occupations, income and so on. Besides, whether people required to do much of their work at home have taken up a significant percentage in all office working population remains unknown. Without considering all of the foregoing factors that give rise to the commandation of home office, the author cannot confidently conclude that there is a rising potential command in home office equipment.

Secondly，Even assuming that a rising commandation of home office facilities exists in current marcket, there is no guarrantee that by increasing stock of such commodity will bring considerable profit to VM stores. It is entirely possible that costumers prefer to other stores that supply with better home office equipment due to high quality and good fame. Moreover, Profit is not merely a function of revenue but costs. In order to adopting the proposed course of action, it requires stocking fee, and also transportation costs, without a thorough analysis of costs and profit, the author cannot draw firm conclusion that by increasing the stock of home office equipment will undoubtedly bring considerable profit to VM stores.

Finally, the author fails to provide details of other departments in VM stores. It is entirely possible that other stores are implementing more efficient methods to enhancing profit than office facility department. Without ruling out this and other factors, it renders no credibility to the conclusion that the office facility department of VM stores will be the most profitable department of VM stores. 这一段独立性不够好，因为上一段中你已经提到other store了，你再修改一下In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To be better valid, the author should provide more information concerning the detail of the command in home office equipment, and to role out other factors that render the unpopularity of VM stores in home office supply. To better evaluate the argument, status quo of other department of VM stores should also be offered as a comparative with that of office facility department.