Issue185 （598） 原稿＋朋友的意见＋第三稿，路过时进来看一下吧

安婧UID: 2156480

Issue185 “Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.”(592)

1、        丑闻更能够吸引人们的注意力，并推动调查或研究的进展。
2、        丑闻吸引了人们太多的注意力，而不去解决本质的问题和其他重要事件。
3、        丑闻所造成的社会压力往往是事情走向偏激。
4、        在丑闻的处理问题上，我们要把握好度，冷静思考，找出事物的本质而非停留在表面，从根本上解决问题。

  Are the scandals really useful in focusing our attention on problem in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Perhaps, the scandals can take our attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem, but they can also lead the affair go to the opposite side.

  The scandals can take our attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem; because the faults caused by someone usually attract more attentions than the duties he or she should do everyday, especially the famous ones. In the invariable days, people are used to the everyday work, the reports of the government and the bagatelles on TV and the internet. Hence, when a piece of lace news is reported, the world is boiled, everyone talk about it if they meet someone. The effect and speed, which are always magical, this way is much better and have more executions than the dull ways of speakers or reformers. For instant, the event of stimulant drug in international sport game. Generally, with the advance of the event the more attentions focus on it. In order to solute the problem and control the effects the holder must find the most useful way as soon as possible. Because of the notice of the event, the knowledge of the stimulant drug of masses is increase involuntarily and the study on the anti-drug is improved.

  However, the scandals maybe attract too many attentions of masses, instead of solving the essential problem and other important things. Several infants died in our maternity hospital in one day, because a delivery room was infected by bacteria. After this scandal was exposed, the maternity hospital had to receive plenty gazetteers to answer the same questions of them everyday. And under the stresses from the manager of the hospital and the Medias, our treatments and studies were dealt with carelessly because nobody had the superfluous energy to do them instead of answering and answering, which caused the decreasing of our income and the healing speed of other patients. Analogously, a nation is same as the hospital, for example Clinton sex scandal attracted the notices which should belong to the events of the whole nation and the whole world, such as the Kosovo crisis, the finance, the health-care reform and so on.

  Moreover, if the scandals cannot be controlled appropriately, they will deal too many aftermaths seriously and lead the affair go the opposite side. Too many disputations in the society, the invariable view of people and the fragility of human can induce suicide or violence. After the corruption of our pre-mayor was exposed, everyone in the city argue the event and the mayor anathematically, the only son of the mayor killed himself in his room, because people said he is feed up by the money of taxpayers and would be another person who is like his father. Did the little boy have any faults? He did not know what his father is even. What’s more, if the adherents of the protagonist in the scandal are unreasonable, a violent affair would occur. And the violence would lead to a series of society problems, such as the disturbance in some areas, blooding affairs, the fear of citizens, nonconfidence of the government and so forth.

  In sum, even if the scandal can attract our attentions, it can deal many serious results. When we solute the scandals, we should control the degree of the deep and the extent, consider calmly, find the essence of the affair but not stay on the surface, finally treat with the problem thoroughly.

[ Last edited by 安婧 on 2005-12-21 at 16:36 ]

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

安婧把连接发到小组里，你这样可能组远找不到你的作业的

maylUID: 2162549

Issue185 “Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.”(592)

1、        丑闻更能够吸引人们的注意力，并推动调查或研究的进展。
2、        丑闻吸引了人们太多的注意力，而不去解决本质的问题和其他重要事件。
3、        丑闻所造成的社会压力往往是事情走向偏激。
4、        在丑闻的处理问题上，我们要把握好度，冷静思考，找出事物的本质而非停留在表面，从根本上解决问题。

  Are the scandals really useful in focusing our attention on problem in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Perhaps, the scandals can take our attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem, but they can also lead the affair affaires go to the opposite side.

  The scandals can take our attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem; because the faults caused by someone usually attract more attentions than the duties he or she should do everyday, especially the famous ones. In the invariable days, people are used to the everyday work, the reports of the government and thebagatelles漂亮的词汇 on TV and the internet. Hence, when a piece of lace news is reported, the world is boiled, everyone talk about it if when是否会好点 they meet someone. The effect and speed, which are always magical, this way is much better and have more executions than the dull ways of speakers or reformers. For instant, the event of stimulant drug in international sport game. Generally, with the advance of the event the more 建议more and more attentions focus on it. In order to solute the problem and control the effects the holder must find the most useful way as soon as possible. Because of the notice of the event, the knowledge of the stimulant drug of masses is increase involuntarilyand the study on the anti-drug is improved.
理论分析逻辑严密，但缺少主题句中解决方法改进的分析，只在例子中提及
词汇用的恰当

  However, the scandals maybe attract too many attentionsmuch attention做可数名词意思是殷勤 of masses, instead of solving the essential problem and other important things. Several infants died in our maternity hospital in one day, because a delivery room was infected by bacteria. After this scandal was exposed, the maternity hospital had to receive plenty gazetteers 古语意思是记者，建议用journalists，press gang to answer the same questions of them everyday. And under the stresses from the manager of the hospital and the Medias, our treatments and studies were dealt with carelessly because nobody had the superfluous 多余的？？建议enough energy to do them instead of answering and answering, which caused the decreasing decrease 名词 of our income and the healing speed of other patients. Analogously, a nation is same as the hospital, for example Clinton sex scandal attracted the notices which should belong to the events of the whole nation and the whole world, such as the Kosovo crisis, the finance, the health-care reform and so on.
建议不要只关注使用高级词汇，注意其意义是否适用于本文
  Moreover, if the scandals cannot be controlled appropriately, they will deal too many aftermaths seriously and lead the affair go the opposite side. Too many disputations in the society, the invariable view of people and the fragility of human can induce suicide or violence. 是否应先指明是有scandals引起的，scandals caused too many disputations in the society, which along with the invariable view of people and the fragility of human can induce suicide or violence After the corruption of our pre-mayor was exposed, everyone in the city argue the event and the mayor anathematic ally, the only son of the mayor killed himself in his room, because people said he is feed up by the money of taxpayers and would be another person who is like his father. Did the little boy have any faults? He did not know what his father is even. What’s more, if the adherents of the protagonist in the scandal are unreasonable, a violent affair would occur.建议用定语从句连接，因为句子只是长点，但结构不复杂 And the violence would lead to a series of society problems, such as the disturbance in some areas, blooding affairs, the fear of citizens, no confidence of the government and so forth.

In sum, even if the scandal can attract our attentions, it can deal many serious results. When we solute the scandals, we should control the degree of the deep and the extent, consider calmly, find the essence of the affair but not stay on the surface, finally treat with the problem thoroughly.
观点清楚，论据充分，挺好的，只是需注意词汇，不可乱用，否则适得其反,个人水平有限，见谅，批评之处勿怪

安婧UID: 2156480

批批好！批批好！怎么会怪呢？谢还来不及呢！下去改了啊。
谢谢mayl！

安婧UID: 2156480

Issue185 “Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.”(592)

1、        丑闻更能够吸引人们的注意力，并推动调查或研究的进展。
2、        丑闻吸引了人们太多的注意力，而不去解决本质的问题和其他重要事件。
3、        丑闻所造成的社会压力往往是事情走向偏激。
4、        在丑闻的处理问题上，我们要把握好度，冷静思考，找出事物的本质而非停留在表面，从根本上解决问题。

  Are the scandals really useful in focusing our attention on problem in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Perhaps, the scandals can take our attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem, but they can also lead the [affaires] go to the opposite side.

  The scandals can take our attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem; because the faults caused by someone usually attract more attentions than the duties he or she should do everyday, especially the famous ones. In the invariable days, people are used to the everyday work, the reports of the government and the bagatelles on TV and the internet. Hence, when a piece of lace news is reported, the world is boiled, everyone talk about it [when] they meet someone. The effect and speed, which are always magical, this way is much better and have more executions than the dull ways of speakers or reformers. For instant, the event of stimulant drug in international sport game. Generally, with the advance of the event [more and more] attentions focus on it. In order to solute the problem and control the effects the holder must find the most useful way as soon as possible. Because of the notice of the event, the knowledge of the stimulant drug of masses is increase involuntarily and the study on the anti-drug is improved.

  However, the scandals maybe attract too [much attention] of masses, instead of solving the essential problem and other important things. Several infants died in our maternity hospital in one day, because a delivery room was infected by bacteria. After this scandal was exposed, the maternity hospital had to receive plenty [journalists] to answer the same questions of them everyday. And under the stresses from the manager of the hospital and the Medias, our treatments and studies were dealt with carelessly because nobody had the superfluous energy to do them instead of answering and answering, which caused the [decrease] of our income and the healing speed of other patients. Analogously, a nation is same as the hospital, for example Clinton sex scandal attracted the notices which should belong to the events of the whole nation and the whole world, such as the Kosovo crisis, the finance, the health-care reform and so on.

  Moreover, if the scandals cannot be controlled appropriately, they will deal too many aftermaths seriously and lead the affair go the opposite side. [Scandals caused too many disputations in the society, which along with the invariable view of people and the fragility of human can induce suicide or violence.] After the corruption of our pre-mayor was exposed, everyone in the city argue the event and the mayor anathematic ally, the only son of the mayor killed himself in his room, because people said he is feed up by the money of taxpayers and would be another person who is like his father. Did the little boy have any faults? He did not know what his father is even. What’s more, if the adherents of the protagonist in the scandal are unreasonable, a violent affair would occur. And the violence would lead to a series of society problems, such as the disturbance in some areas, blooding affairs, the fear of citizens, no confidence of the government and so forth.

In sum, even if the scandal can attract our attentions, it can deal many serious results. When we solute the scandals, we should control the degree of the deep and the extent, consider calmly, find the essence of the affair but not stay on the surface, finally treat with the problem thoroughly

安婧UID: 2156480

＃5红颜色的是我改过的。
TO mayl:
1、你在我的第二段中说的“缺少主题句中解决方法改进的分析，只在例子中提及”我不是很明白，望再次赐教。
2、关于superfluous，我确实是想说大家都没有多余的精力了。可以吗？
3、第四段中，你说的定语从句，我不知道怎么改。能帮我写一个吗？

再次对mayl,表示感谢！
其他同学看到了也提提意见吧，帮助安婧发现问题呀。

kito9695UID: 209685

安靖加油~最近考试，没时间互改~精神鼓舞一下~

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

特意进来看看安婧修改后的文章。这么认真的MM一定要多给你意见啊:)

1、        丑闻更能够吸引人们的注意力，并推动调查或研究的进展。
2、        丑闻吸引了人们太多的注意力，而不去解决本质的问题和其他重要事件。
3、        丑闻所造成的社会压力往往是事情走向偏激。
4、        在丑闻的处理问题上，我们要把握好度，冷静思考，找出事物的本质而非停留在表面，从根本上解决问题。
很好的逻辑，好好分析下去能是一篇好文章

  Are the scandals really useful in focusing our attention on problem in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Perhaps, the scandals can take captureour attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem,不是丑闻改进了方法，是丑闻使我们改变了方法。so,it should be and therfore we could improve the solution of those problems but they can also lead the [affaires] go to the opposite side.

  The scandals can take这词不是很好，再斟酌 our attention more quickly and improve the solution of the problem问题同上．另外建议尽量不要在文章中重复一样的句子; because the faults caused by someone usually attract more attentions bear more attraction than the duties he or she should do everyday, especially the famous ones. In the invariable days, people are used to the everyday work, the reports of the government and the bagatelles on TV and the internet. Hence, when a piece of lace news is reported, the world is boiled, everyone talk about it [when] they meet someone. The effect and speed, which are always magical, this way is much better and have more executions than the dull ways of speakers or reformers. the effect and spreading speed of scandals are so magical so as to make scandals more influential than the ordinary news made by speakers or reformers.For instant, the event of stimulant drug in international sport game. Generally, with the advance advent of the event [more and more] attentions focus on it. In order to solute the problem and control rein the effects the holder must find the most useful way as soon as possible. Because of the notice of the event, the knowledge of the stimulant drug of masses is increase involuntarily and the study on the anti-drug is improved.
有些语法错误要注意，给你化出来了，再修改，另外，有些词汇或句子过多得使用显得没新异，个别的给你替换了下．思考点还是不错的

  However, the scandals maybe attract too [much attention] of masses, instead of solving the essential problem and other important things. Several infants died in our maternity hospital in one day, because a delivery room was infected by bacteria. After this scandal was exposed, the maternity hospital had to receive plenty [journalists] to answer the same questions of them everyday. And under the stresses from the manager of the hospital and the Medias, our treatments and studies were dealt with carelessly because nobody had the superfluous energy to do them instead of answering and answeringbut just answer questions put foward by journalists which caused the [decrease] of our income and the healing speed of other patients. Analogously, a nation is same as the hospital,前面有类似了，这里再说重复．改为a nation would be in the similar status for example Clinton sex scandal attracted the notices which should belong to the events of the whole nation and the whole world, such as the Kosovo crisis, the finance, the health-care reform and so on.你这个句子不是很精练，有点中式，稍微改了下the attention paid to Clinton's sex scandal with Lewinsky too much outnumbered the attention which should be given to others issuese such as Kosove....
  Moreover, if the scandals cannot be controlled appropriately, they will deal ？too many aftermaths seriously and lead the affair go the opposite side. [Scandals caused too many disputations in the society, which along with the invariable view of people and the fragility of human can induce suicide or violence.] After the corruption of our pre-mayor was exposed, everyone in the city argue the event and the mayor anathematic ally, the only son of the mayor killed himself in his room, because people said he is feed up by the money of taxpayers and would be another person who is like his father. Did the little boy have any faults? He did not know what his father is even. What’s more, if the adherents of the protagonist in the scandal are unreasonable, a violent affair would occur. And the violence would lead to a series of society problems, such as the disturbance in some areas, blooding affairs, the fear of citizens, no confidence of the government and so forth.
这段每仔细看，你已经修改一部分了应该问题不大

In sum, even if the scandal can attract our attentions, it can deal many serious results. When we solute the scandals, we should control the degree of the deep and the extent,them consider calmly, find the essence of the affair but not stay on the surface, finally treat with the problem thoroughly

安婧有些单词的用法把握得还不是很好。另外，句型感觉还比较单一，可以尝试下多变以增加文采．文章大体的把握还是比较好的，无论丛审题还是层次。再对语言下下工夫旧可以了．加油

安婧UID: 2156480

精神鼓励也好，精神鼓励也好。
谢谢小别！

安婧UID: 2156480

谢谢Sally，今天没时间改了。明天连同被gtrand的小砖头砸了的A51一起改了贴上来。
小组好温暖！

似乎现在逻辑不成问题了（但都是每个提纲都会写半个小时左右的缘故啊。时间太长了的说）。我的词汇、语法怎么办呢？如何加强呢？因为写的时候根本意识不到词用错了，或者用的不恰当。

[ Last edited by 安婧 on 2005-12-21 at 00:52 ]

安婧UID: 2156480

Issue185 “Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.”(592)

1、        丑闻更能够吸引人们的注意力，并推动调查或研究的进展。
2、        丑闻吸引了人们太多的注意力，而不去解决本质的问题和其他重要事件。
3、        丑闻所造成的社会压力往往是事情走向偏激。
4、        在丑闻的处理问题上，我们要把握好度，冷静思考，找出事物的本质而非停留在表面，从根本上解决问题。

Are the scandals really useful in focusing our attention on problem in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could? Perhaps, the scandals can capture our attention more quickly and therfore we could improve the solution of those problems but they can also lead the affaires go to the opposite side.

  The scandals can attract our attention more quickly and quicken the speed of the solution, because the faults caused by someone usually bear more attraction than the duties he or she should do everyday, especially the famous ones. In the invariable days, people are used to the everyday work, the reports of the government and the bagatelles on TV and the internet. Hence, when a piece of lace news is reported, the world is boiled, everyone talk about it when they meet someone. The effect and spreading speed of scandals are so magical so as to make scandals more influential than the ordinary news made by speakers or reformers. For instant, the event of stimulant drug in international sport game. Generally, with the advance of the event more and more attentions focus on it. In order to solve the problem and rein the effects the holder must find the most useful way as soon as possible. Because of the notice of the event, the knowledge of the stimulant drug of masses is increase involuntarily and the study on the anti-drug is improved.

  However, the scandals maybe attract too much attention of masses, instead of solving the essential problem and other important things. Several infants died in our maternity hospital in one day, because a delivery room was infected by bacteria. After this scandal was exposed, the maternity hospital had to receive plenty journalists to answer the same questions of them everyday. And under the stresses from the manager of the hospital and the Medias, our treatments and studies were dealt with carelessly because nobody had the superfluous energy to do them but just answer questions put forward by journalists which caused the decrease of our income and the healing speed of other patients. Analogously, a nation would be in the similar status. For example, the attention paid to Clinton's sex scandal with Lewinsky too much outnumbered the attention which should be given to others issuese such as Kosove crisis, the finance, the health-care reform and so on.
  Moreover, if the scandals cannot be controlled appropriately, they will lead too many aftermaths seriously and lead the affairs go the opposite side. Scandals caused too many disputations in the society, which along with the invariable view of people and the fragility of human can induce suicide or violence. After the corruption of our pre-mayor was exposed, everyone in the city argue the event and the mayor anathematic ally, the only son of the mayor killed himself in his room, because people said he is feed up by the money of taxpayers and would be another person who is like his father. Did the little boy have any faults? He did not know what his father is even. What’s more, if the adherents of the protagonist in the scandal are unreasonable, a violent affair would occur. And the violence would lead to a series of society problems, such as the disturbance in some areas, blooding affairs, the fear of citizens, no confidence of the government and so forth.

In sum, even if the scandal can attract our attentions, it can lead many serious results. When we solve the scandals, we should control the degree of the deep and the extent, consider calmly, find the essence of the affair but not stay on the surface, finally treat with the problem thoroughly.

已经是第三稿了，谢谢楼上的各位朋友对安婧的帮助！

maylUID: 2162549

Originally posted by 安婧 at 2005-12-20 21:53
＃5红颜色的是我改过的。
TO mayl:
1、你在我的第二段中说的“缺少主题句中解决方法改进的分析，只在例子中提及”我不是很明白，望再次赐教。
2、关于superfluous，我确实是想说大家都没有多余的精力了。可以吗 ...

1.没有从理论上分析为什么improve the solution

2. 我感觉应该是足够的，因为当穷于应付记者，医生没有足够的经历来工作，你说呢？
3.What’s more, if the adherents of the protagonist in the scandal are unreasonable, a violent affair would occur, which would lead to a series of society problems, such as the disturbance in some areas, blooding affairs, the fear of citizens, no confidence of the government and so forth.
你真认真，一片文章改几遍，佩服你的精神

[ Last edited by mayl on 2005-12-21 at 23:13 ]

hzyj0322UID: 2155800

是啊是啊,我们组写这个题,过来找,才发现安婧同学的逻辑这么清楚,态度这么认真,学习啊~~
向你学习!!

安婧UID: 2156480

嘻嘻，谢谢夸奖。
我的逻辑也是一会儿清醒一会儿混乱的，小组成员对我的帮助很大的！韩小king也要在自己的小组里好好努力啊。有时间到我们小组去看看吧，加强交流，共同进步嘛。