Argument205 研究了两天范文，不知道有没有点进步，大家帮我看看，谢谢哦~

@amy@UID: 209096

题目
Argument205 The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.

"Last October the city of Belleville installed high intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined almost immediately. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. Since high intensity lighting is apparently the most effective way to combat crime, we should install such lighting throughout Amburg. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."

翻译：
去年10月Belleville市在其中央商业区安装了高照度灯光，那里的破坏公物的行为几乎立即减少。Amburg市最近开始在其中央商业区安排警察骑自行车巡逻，但破坏公物的发生率并没有变化。由于高照度灯光显然是震慑犯罪的最有效途径，我们也应该在Amburg全市安装这种灯光。通过以这种方式减少犯罪，我们可以使本市重新繁荣起来。

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提纲
（1） 安装高照度灯光和破坏公物行为减少没有因果关系。有可能Belleville也安排了警察巡逻，也有可能Belleville进行了大量的宣传和教育。Amburg破坏公物的发生率没有变化有可能是本来就非常低。
（2）即使高照度灯光真的有助于减少破坏公物的行为，不一定是最有效的办法，有可能有更合适的方法；即使是最有效的方法在全市安装这种灯光也不一定合适，因为会浪费大量的电。此外，这种方法也不一定对其它的犯罪行为有作用。
（3）犯罪减少了，邻里关系不一定就能改善，还与很多方面有关。

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字数：517 words
时间：没限时
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正文
In this argument, the arguer’s suggestion to install high intensity lighting throughout Amburg in order to reduce crime suffers several serious flaws as I analyze in the following.

First of all, the arguer fails to build the causality between installing high intensity lighting in Belleville and the declination of vandalism and also fails to establish consequence between arranging police patrols on bicycles in Amburg’s business district and the unchanged rate of vandalism. On the one hand, the decrease of vandalism in Belleville does not certainly result from the install of such lighting. It is possible that Belleville also begun police patrols on bicycles. It is also possible that propagandas or educations were made during Last October. So it is obvious that the arguer fails to consider other substitutes for the change of vandalism’s rate. On the other hand, the arguer only referred that vandalism in Amburg remains constant. A high possibility is that vandalism in Amburg always occurs rarely and nearly reaches zero. Thus, whether taking some actions or not may be useless and cannot reveal effect.

Secondly, granted that installing such lighting is really useful and the rate of vandalism in Amburg also needs to be controlled, there is no evidence to prove it is the most effective way, and whether it is feasible to apply throughout the whole city is also open to doubt. It is likely that there exist many other methods, which are more effective and much better than such lighting. In addition, to install such lighting all around Amburg is totally likely to cost a great deal of electricity, which means the huge waste of valued energy and the aggravation of government’s financial pressure and consequent taxpayers’ pressure. What is more, even if the method is the most effective way, it does not means that the lighting also can combat other crime except vandalism since there is only evidence about the effect on vandalism.

Last but not the least, assuming that such lighting does have effect on all kinds of crimes and can reduce the rate of crime, can the declining neighborhoods be revitalized surely? The answer is certainly not because the neighborhoods have relation not only to the crime rate, but also to the customs, life conditions and the like. For example, if most residents in Amburg are busying with works and have difficulties to afford the basic life demands, or if they have little spare time to chat with the neighbors, or if they always have no trust to others because of the custom, then even there is no crime in Amburg, it is also possible that the neighborhoods are very poor.

To sum up, the arguer is too cursory to make the suggestion because of his failure to make sure the relation among high intensity lighting and low vandalism rate and the revitalization of the declining neighborhoods, so to make his suggestion more convincing, he has to take the facets discussed above into account, that is, to study whether such lighting is really useful and whether Amburg need it, and to consider the genuine reason for the declining neighborhoods.

[ 本帖最后由 @amy@ 于 2006-2-13 09:48 编辑 ]

智恩UID: 2160717

开头很简洁，虽然只有一句话，但留时间写中间的，你中间分析得很好，最后写出这种argu得话，就至少也有5分吧
就是限时是个问题，我一限时就写得很泛,

@amy@UID: 209096

谢谢智恩和leedgen耶:hug: