Issue185 清凉夏日 三组

cpuliuwenUID: 2203373

TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."


The speaker's assertion is that the revealment of scandals is a effective way to solve the problems by attracting attention from public. However, he/she unnecessarily(这个副词用得不太恰当,改成unfortunately或别的什么吧) overestimates the effect of scandals, while overlooks(overlooking) its side effects and other way(s) of solving problems. Scandal, be it good for attracting public attention(范文里似乎也见过这种结构,但一直不太明白是什么语法结构,还请指教), is not an ideal way to deal with troubles.(题目里并未说scandal是解决问题的好方法,只是说吸引我们的注意罢了,你下一段又说scandal可以促进人们解决问题,所以搞不清楚你到底是要赞成还是反对)
In some cases, scandal can draw public attention on the problems, and stimulate people to solve them. An apt illustration is in the academia field; the HISYS(Hanxin) DSP chip, announced as the first high performance DSP chip designed completely by Chinese, was proved to be cheating some days before. With lots of honor and prize given to HISYS group before the scandal revealed, it triggered a storm, focusing on the academic honesty in China. Without the HISYS scandal, academic cheating and corrupting (corruption)may continue and diffuse among China academia, which may lead to serious crisis.(没有从吸引人们注意的角度来分析,而仅仅说有了此丑闻就可以避免学术腐败好象不太恰当啊) Therefore, by announcing such scandal, the authority should be praised, for that it is necessary and critical for the development of science, and even for the future of the nation.

However, in some circumstance, revealing scandal is not a vise choice, especially for the scandals which is not critical but involving political leaders. Exposing(exposed) under the media and public, no one could act perfectly, the same as to the leaders. Revealing unimportant flaws or scandals of leaders blindly will reduce the authority of the government and the cohesion in the nation. Ironically,(while,加个连词吧,不然语法不对) losing a confident leader and a united nation, what we gain is just "interesting scandals" about somebody. Consequently, we must tolerant small flaws of leaders, in order to build a harmonious and continuous developing nation.(这段论证得不错啊):victory:
What's more, the scandals often attract much more attention on scandal itself than the problem behind the scandal. Considering the innumerous scandals involving superstars, lots of attention has(been) put on them, and the entertainment magazines are full of these, but, how many readers consider these scandals not as interesting anecdotes but a social problem? Only by the profound analysis and serious thinking, (这里用个倒装吧)these scandals could become a window of the problems behind them, and this is what we need for a scandal to function. In the age of information and eyeball economy, scandals can focus our attention on the problems, but to solve the problem is beyond the scandals' duty(ability). In this sense, what we call for is not more scandal(s), but the problems these scandals reveal, and but the solution of the problems. As a result, we may have placed too much attention on the scandal, which is only superficial, or merely the tip of iceberg.(这个比喻不太恰当,好象说还有很多丑闻没有被揭露似的)
With variable(various) experience and inconsistent values, people may never arrive on the same point in this controversial issue involving ethic and social consciousness. All the evidence analyzed above confirm my point of view in some cases, which is to solve problems, scandal is a choice but not the best one.

例子:the HISYS(Hanxin) DSP chip, announced as the first high performance DSP chip designed completely by Chinese, was proved to be cheating some days before. With lots of honor and prize given to HISYS group before the scandal revealed, it triggered a storm, focusing on the academic honesty in China.
海信谎称自己的芯片是第一个中国自主设计的高效能芯片被揭穿的丑闻
你的观点是丑闻能够发现问题但并不能解决问题,是否与主题有所偏离呢,因为题目就是说丑闻比演说家和改革家更能引起对问题的注意.
个人观点,欢迎交流!:handshake