argument142 我们的九月 第十九次作业

juzijuntuanUID: 2231815

TOPIC: ARGUMENT142 - The article entitled 'Eating Iron' in last month's issue of Eating for Health reported that a recent study found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease. Further, it is well established that there is a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease, and red meat is high in iron. On the basis of the study and the well-established link between red meat and heart disease, we can conclude that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease, then, is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease.
WORDS: 500          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-8-14

很混乱~~~
The author concludes that the it is the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease, based on the result of a study on the relationship of high levels of iron and increased risk of heart disease and a well-established link on large amount of red meat in diet and heart disease. However, the conclusion is questionable, for a careful examination reveals several flaws in some aspects.

First, the author cites the result of a study, which found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease, as evidence of his conclusion. The result is unclear, and it should demonstrate which kind of iron is the main factor that causes the increased risk of heart disease, for there are at least 2 kinds of iron in diet, cation and in compounds, besides they are different in the amount of positive charge carried. And whether the main factor of iron is included in red meat in diet is unproved. Thus, more information should be offered to clearly and supportively to demonstrate the conclusion.

Moreover, the link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease is uncertain in the argument and not strong substantiate the author's conclusion. There are two types of link. For one hand, if the large amounts of red meat in diet cause a increased heart disease, and red meat is high in iron, it is possibly the author's conclusion is likely to be reasonable. For the other hand, if the large amount of red meat in diet contribute to a decreased heart disease, and fact that the high levels of iron in red meat seems contradict to the result of study quoted in argument, and the author's conclusion is self-contradicted and illogical. Hence, such relationship between the red meat and heart disease should be illustrate clearly.

The last, even the large amounts of red meat in the diet results in a increased heart disease, it is not surely that influence is ascribing to the high iron in red meat. Because the kind of iron contained in red meat and whether they are as caution or compound is unknown, which is significant to heart disease, and whether they are absorbed completely or mostly, whether they are high enough to contribute to heart disease is unproved, it is possible that the iron in red meat is not the factor leading to heart disease and the level iron is under the limitation to affect heart. As a result, further information on the iron in red meat should be cited to bolster the author's conclusion.

To sum up, the author draw the conclusion based on the evidence of unclear result of study , a clearly and supportively illustration should be provided and further information of the kinds of iron that cause the increased heart disease and contained in red meat should be offered to make the argument more convincing and reasonable.

maggie-leeUID: 2220892

The author concludes that the it is （可以去掉，不然这个句子的结构好像有问题，两套主谓了） the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease, based on the result of a study on the relationship of high levels of iron and increased risk of heart disease and a well-established link on large amount of red meat in diet and heart disease. However, the conclusion is questionable, for a careful examination reveals several flaws in some aspects.

First, the author cites the result of a study, which found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease, as evidence of his conclusion. The result is unclear, and it should demonstrate which kind of iron is the main factor that causes the increased risk of heart disease, for there are at least 2 kinds of iron in diet, cation and in compounds, besides they are different in the amount of positive charge carried. And whether the main factor of iron is included in red meat in diet is unproved. Thus, more information should be offered to clearly and supportively to demonstrate the conclusion.

Moreover, the link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease is uncertain in the argument and not strong （to） substantiate the author's conclusion. There are two types of link. For one hand, if the large amounts of red meat in diet cause a increased heart disease, and red meat is high in iron, it is possibly the author's conclusion is likely to be reasonable. For the other hand, if the large amount of red meat in diet contribute to a decreased heart disease, and fact that the high levels of iron in red meat seems contradict to the result of study quoted in argument, and the author's conclusion is self-contradicted and illogical. Hence, such relationship between the red meat and heart disease should be illustrate（d） clearly.

The last, even the large amounts of red meat in the diet results in a increased heart disease, it is not surely that influence is ascribing to (be attributed to) the high iron in red meat. Because the kind of iron contained in red meat and whether they are as caution or compound is unknown, which is significant to heart disease, and whether they are absorbed completely or mostly, whether they are high enough to contribute to heart disease is unproved, it is possible that the iron in red meat is not the factor leading to heart disease and the level iron is under the limitation to affect heart. As a result, further information on the iron in red meat should be cited to bolster the author's conclusion.
其实你可以说是Red meat 里面的其他物质导致了心脏病，不一定要围绕着 铁 元素来说
To sum up, the author draw the conclusion based on the evidence of unclear result of study , a clearly and supportively illustration should be provided and further information of the kinds of iron that cause the increased heart disease and contained in red meat should be offered to make the argument more convincing and reasonable.

感觉二、四段说的东西有点重复