argument186[shining sep]

flycc28UID: 2164453

TOPIC: ARGUMENT186 - The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.

"In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors."
WORDS: 392       TIME: 0:30:00+10          DATE: 2006-8-29

In this recommendation, the editor advocates that Professional Printing Company(PPC) should hire mainly older employees so as to increase the productivity and save money by reducing the need for supervisors. To substantiate it, the editor cites a survey of automobile factory workers, and points out those older employees needs less supervisor. Careful examination of the supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credibility to the conclusion.

A threshold problem with this argument involves the statistical reliability of the survey. The editor provides no evidence that the number of the respondents is statistically significant or the respondents were representative of the workers in general. Lacking specific information about the survey and the respondents, the editor cannot justifiable rely on it to draw any further conclusion.

Even if the survey can accurately reflect the auto industry, the editor unfairly assumes that supervision will also take effect in PPC. It is entire possible that PPC has already take some measures to supervise; it is useless and worthless for PPC to hire older employees to increase productivity. Moreover, other differences such as quality of employ and need for employ vary from the two factories, will make the PPC and the auto factory incomparable.

The editor assumes that old employees are more productive than the young people, although it may be sound and applicable in most situations, nevertheless it might be not effective at PPC, in short, chances are that young workers at PPC are more productive than old employees. Unless the editor provides specific information about workers at PPC, I can not accept the assumption that old employees in printing are more productive confidently.

Last but not least, money will not surely be saved, even if old workers can increase their productivity. Common sense informs us that older employees with more experience will ask for a higher salary than younger workers. Hence it is possible that the total expenses of PPC will increase although they save from reducing the supervision. It is presumptuous to conclude that PPC will save money without taking into account the factor.

In sum, the recommendation is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it, the editor should ensure the reliability of the survey and the respondent are representative of the overall workers. To better evaluate the recommendation, we need to know more concerning older workers are indeed more productive in printing.

Ajax555UID: 2241288

TOPIC: ARGUMENT186 - The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.

"In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors."
WORDS: 392       TIME: 0:30:00+10          DATE: 2006-8-29

In this recommendation, the editor advocates that Professional Printing Company(PPC) should hire mainly older employees so as to increase the productivity and save money by reducing the need for supervisors. To substantiate it, the editor cites a survey of automobile factory workers, and points out those older employees needs less supervisor. Careful examination of the supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credibility to the conclusion.

A threshold problem with this argument involves the statistical reliability of the survey. The editor provides no evidence that the number of the respondents is statistically significant or the respondents were representative of the workers in general. Lacking specific information about the survey and the respondents, the editor cannot justifiable rely on it to draw any further conclusion.
//批驳调查的数据问题，具体什么问题，最好落脚到文章中具体的数据上去，最好还写上这样错误的数据不会得到作者的结果，而会得到另外的结果。而且这一段让人觉得好短，连第一段都比它长。。。

Even if the survey can accurately reflect the auto industry, the editor unfairly assumes that supervision will also take effect in PPC. It is entire possible that PPC has already take some measures to supervise; it is useless and worthless for PPC to hire older employees to increase productivity. Moreover, other differences such as quality of employ and need for employ vary from the two factories, will make the PPC and the auto factory incomparable.
//批驳错误类比

The editor assumes that old employees are more productive than the young people, although it may be sound and applicable in most situations, nevertheless it might be not effective at PPC, in short, chances are that young workers at PPC are more productive than old employees. Unless the editor provides specific information about workers at PPC, I can not accept the assumption that old employees in printing are more productive confidently.
//批驳错误假设，批驳的不够，应该论述一下年轻的工人也可能创造更多的价值的原因


Last but not least, money will not surely be saved, even if old workers can increase their productivity. Common sense informs us that older employees with more experience will ask for a higher salary than younger workers. Hence it is possible that the total expenses of PPC will increase although they save from reducing the supervision. It is presumptuous to conclude that PPC will save money without taking into account the factor.
//这一段可以和上一段合在一起写，批驳作者的例子不能推断出获得更多利润和节约资金的结论。

In sum, the recommendation is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it, the editor should ensure the reliability of the survey and the respondent are representative of the overall workers. To better evaluate the recommendation, we need to know more concerning older workers are indeed more productive in printing.

驳论点都找到了
感觉反驳的力度还欠缺一些

MagicGlaiveUID: 2112081

TOPIC: ARGUMENT186 - The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.

"In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors."
WORDS: 392       TIME: 0:30:00+10          DATE: 2006-8-29

In this recommendation, the editor advocates that Professional Printing Company(PPC) should hire mainly older employees so as to increase the productivity and save money by reducing the need for supervisors. To substantiate it, the editor cites a survey of automobile factory workers, and points out those older employees needs less supervisor. Careful examination of the supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credibility to the conclusion.

A threshold problem with this argument involves the statistical reliability of the survey. The editor provides no evidence that the number of the respondents is statistically significant or the respondents were representative of the workers in general. 这一段完全可以多写点，一个perhaps就两行下来了，而且不用费什么脑细胞Lacking specific information about the survey and the respondents, the editor cannot justifiable rely on it to draw any further conclusion.

Even if the survey can accurately reflect the auto industry, the editor unfairly assumes that supervision will also take effect in PPC. It is entire possible that PPC has already take some measures to supervise; it is useless and worthless for PPC to hire older employees to increase productivity. Moreover, other differences such as quality of employ and need for employ vary from the two factories, will make the PPC and the auto factory incomparable.

The editor assumes that old employees are more productive than the young people, although it may be sound and applicable in most situations, nevertheless it might be not effective at PPC, in short, chances are that young workers at PPC are more productive than old employees. Unless the editor provides specific information about workers at PPC,建议少用主动，换成被动 I can not accept the assumption that old employees in printing are more productive confidently.

感觉你写4个匆匆忙忙，还不如好好写三个...
Last but not least, money will not surely be saved, even if old workers can increase their productivity. Common sense informs us that older employees with more experience will ask for a higher salary than younger workers. Hence it is possible that the total expenses of PPC will increase although they save from reducing the supervision. It is presumptuous to conclude that PPC will save money without taking into account the factor.

In sum, the recommendation is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it, the editor should ensure the reliability of the survey and the respondent are representative of the overall workers. To better evaluate the recommendation, we need to know more concerning older workers are indeed more productive in printing.有一个和我模版一样的，完了

没什么说得，写得很工整，就是觉得你不如少一段，写丰满点！
加油！