argument167 by tuexy.qiu

Tuexy.qiuUID: 2350973

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.
*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.
WORDS: 337          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-8-4 20:54:57
The speaker here advocates a folk remedy as a drug for insomnia. At the first glance, the study presented by him or her sounds like good, we can easily found some logic flaws in contempation of this three groups of voluteers. As to show how unsubstantial the acclaim is, some analysises set forth in the following passages.
Verly obviously 30 volunteers is not so general before concluding a idea. And what is more, if those volunteers are just the junverils or just the older, then, it may sciencitically applied to the particular group, losing the respectiveness of the entire cummities.
During the first weeks, the voluteer continues taking their usual sleeping medication and slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. Then, does it indicts that the folk remedy works? As the patients accept the sleeping medication, then, their change of sleep states may just comes from  the effect of those drugs. While we cast a light to the second and third investigating weeks of patients, it may be that their sleep ameriolation all benefits from the drugs,  though they doesn't take it in the second week. It is possible if we consider that those traditional medications have a long drug-effect frame. And the effect can't embody in the very early time of curing. So it is freely explained the growing changing of the sleep quality. Therefore, we needs more sufficient evidences supporting the effect of the  lavender. To do so, we must firstly ruling out the factors of those medical drugs.
Finally, even the possibity that the medication is successfully ruling out, it also can't convince to believe the lavender can cure insomnia short period. Because the patients of study are chronic ones, then, what about other kind of patients, such as the very light, or serious? Does it have not the possibility that the lavender just can cure the particular chronic? So, we need more experiment control to further ensure the comterperiment of the drugs.
Naturially, if all those problems are ruling out, then it will provide us a very useful suggestion on curing sleep disease, especially when we consider that the folk remedy is very cheaper and personal.

coalaxixiUID: 2353397

The speaker here advocates a folk remedy as a drug for insomnia. At thefirst glance, the study presented by him or her sounds like good, (but) wecan easily found some logic flaws in contempation (contemplation?) of this three groupsof voluteers. As to show how unsubstantial the acclaim is, someanalysises set forth in the following passages.
Verly obviously 30 volunteers is(are) not so general before concluding a(an)idea. And(and 一般不做句首) what is more, if those volunteers are just the junverils orjust the older, then, it may sciencitically applied to the particulargroup, losing the respectiveness of the entire cummities.
During the first weeks, the voluteer continues(continued) taking their usualsleeping medication and slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. Then,does it indicts(indicate ??) that the folk remedy works? As the patients accept thesleeping medication, then, their change of sleep states may just comesfrom  the effect of those drugs. While we cast a light to the secondand third investigating weeks of patients, it may be that their sleepameriolation all benefits from the drugs,  though they doesn't take itin the second week. It is possible if we consider that thosetraditional medications have a long drug-effect frame. And the effectcan't embody in the very early time of curing. So it is freelyexplained the growing changing of the sleep quality. Therefore, weneeds more sufficient evidences supporting the effect of the  lavender.To do so, we must firstly ruling out the factors of those medical drugs.
Finally, even the possibity that the medication is successfully rulingout, it also can't convince to believe the lavender can cure insomniashort period. Because the patients of study are chronic ones, then,what about other kind of patients, such as the very light, or serious?Does it have not the possibility that the lavender just can cure theparticular chronic? So, we need more experiment control to furtherensure the comterperiment of the drugs.
Naturially, if all those problems are ruling out, then it will provideus a very useful suggestion on curing sleep disease, especially when weconsider that the folk remedy is very cheaper and personal.


Comments:
基本语法错误太多, 建议：考试时宁可少写几个词，留出5分钟检查一下。像单复数，动词(有s还是没s)，单词拼写，冠词(a/an)， 句子结构(句子成分，标点)
加油！
good luck!