Issue207【Dark-Tournament小组】第14次作业

candyrealmeUID: 2368154

Issue207

"Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."

Before we come to the conclusion of the extremely high status that rituals and ceremonies do in shaping people's self-consciousness, let us have a deep consideration about the question that how many people nowadays have sense of honor of their conventional rituals and ceremonies, especially those born after 1990s? While it is true that rituals and ceremonies have played crucial roles in defining a culture to some extent, but how much truth there is in the assertion that societies or groups of people would have a diminished sense of who they are devoid of rituals and ceremonies? The above statement, as far as I am concerned, should be divided into three part to discuss since it lacks rigid support.

On one hand, one on can obscure the fact that rituals and ceremonies virtually contribute a great mass in boosting the development of both society and individual. If we cast a look back at the history of the whole world, it is possible to identify an evolution of rituals and ceremonies. Rituals and ceremonies, the manifestation of people's respect to others or fear of the unknown world, have been utilized as methods to comfort and please people and fulfill their spiritual needs. In a society where technology is not as sophisticated as modern world, knowledge accumulation is not as broad as today, information broadcasting is not as convenient as nowadays, it exists the possibility that rituals and ceremonies act as the fundamental element in shaping people's sense of who they are due to the fact that they have no other ways to show their authentic emotion. As Maslow's hierarchy of needs goes that all human being have five basic levels of needs: psychology, safely, belonging, esteem and self-actualization. By holding rituals and ceremonies, in the widest possible sense, many people could maintain what they thirst for as well as to satisfy others' needs. A typical case in point is the spring festival in China which was viewed as a traditional ceremonies to celebrate the get-together of a whole family, it was create chiefly to satisfy people's belonging needs in a society which transportation and communication was in their undeveloped condition. People, especially those old ones, could feel the existence of them and care from others to enhance the sense of who they are by raising rituals and ceremonies.

On the other hand, whether rituals and ceremonies still well worth our emphasis in such an advanced period is a controversial issue which each side has its advocates. Some people argue that as traditional forms, rituals and ceremonies not only sustain their original use, but also act as art expressions of human behavior in certain cases. Whatever else may be said, knowing the specific circumstance rituals and ceremonies have been used in is indispensable for a proper understanding of whether people's self-consciousness would diminish without them. Majority of common residents in many countries have thanks giving ceremonies as many Chinese do in spring festival; however, it is no longer the function as to make the lonely ones to feel their existence since people could express their affection any time they hope through the internet and mobile phone or by spending a few hours on airplane to meet face to face. "Turkey" is just a habit people still want to persist on, which is no more than a way to obtain joyous. Again, there are parallels with other rituals and ceremonies such as the famous adult ceremony; can we say that people have no idea of their identity if no one hold such a ceremony for him? The answer is definitely no. When asked about who we are, the primary things come to our mind must be our family background or our careers but not what rituals and ceremonies we stick to regardless of some extremely loyal believers of religious. Moving on to a wider theme, without rituals and ceremonies, to most people in the world, they will not get lost in the forest of self recognition.

Therefore, it is too presumptuous to judge the predominant role of rituals and ceremonies in sustaining people's self sensible. On the contrary, people are supposed to enlarge his own horizon and keep on fighting for his achievement if he is afraid of losing the sense of who he is.

草木也知愁UID: 2487572

文章上来一看就很清晰,不错啊
视觉效果很好,赞

Before we come to the conclusion of(that读起来更通顺一些) the extremely high status that rituals and ceremonies do in shaping people's self-consciousness, let us have a deep consideration about the question that how many people nowadays have sense of honor of their conventional(最好不要写,属于把攻击范畴缩小化,典礼仪式不光是传统上的) rituals and ceremonies, especially those born after 1990s(观察80后90初的思想动态呵)? While it is true that rituals and ceremonies have played crucial roles in defining a culture to some extent, but how much truth there is in the assertion that societies or groups of people would have a diminished sense of who they are devoid of rituals and ceremonies? The above statement, as far as I am concerned, should be divided into three part to discuss since it lacks rigid support. (CANDY的开头越来越纯熟精练了,羡慕啊,超赞)

On one hand, one on can obscure the fact that rituals and ceremonies virtually contribute a great mass in boosting the development of both society and individual. If we cast a look back at the history of the whole world, it is possible to identify an evolution of rituals and ceremonies. Rituals and ceremonies, the manifestation of people's respect to others or fear of the unknown world, have been utilized as methods to comfort and please people and fulfill their spiritual needs. In a society where technology is not as sophisticated as modern world, knowledge accumulation is not as broad as today, information broadcasting is not as convenient as nowadays, it exists the possibility that rituals and ceremonies act as the fundamental element in shaping people's sense of who they are due to the fact that they have no other ways to show their authentic emotion. As Maslow's hierarchy of needs goes that all human being have five basic levels of needs: psychology, safely, belonging, esteem and self-actualization. By holding rituals and ceremonies, in the widest possible sense, many people could maintain what they thirst for as well as to satisfy others' needs. A typical case in point is the spring festival in China which was viewed as a traditional ceremonies to celebrate the get-together of a whole family, it was create chiefly to satisfy people's belonging needs in a society which transportation and communication was in their undeveloped condition(不妥吧,这样说中国有些过头吧). People, especially those old ones(很好的切入点), could feel the existence of them and care from others to enhance the sense of who they are by raising rituals and ceremonies.(这么多的蓝色已经说明问题了,这篇文章写的确确实实高水平!!)

On the other hand, whether rituals and ceremonies still well worth our emphasis in such an advanced period is a controversial issue which each side has its advocates. Some people argue that as traditional forms, rituals and ceremonies not only sustain their original use, but also act as art expressions of human behavior in certain cases. Whatever else may be said, knowing the specific circumstance rituals and ceremonies have been used in is indispensable for a proper understanding of whether people's self-consciousness would diminish without them. Majority of common residents in many countries have thanks giving(Thanks Giving) ceremonies as many Chinese do in Spring Festival; however, it is no longer the function as to make the lonely ones to feel their existence since people could express their affection any time they hope through the internet and mobile phone or by spending a few hours on airplane to meet face to face. (和上一段照应啊,很精妙!)"Turkey" is just a habit people still want to persist on, which is no more than a way to obtain joyous. Again, there are parallels with other rituals and ceremonies such as the famous adult ceremony; can we say that people have no idea of their identity if no one hold such a ceremony for him(them)? The answer is definitely no. When asked about who we are, the primary things come to our mind must be our family background or our careers but not what rituals and ceremonies we stick to regardless of some extremely loyal believers of religious. Moving on to a wider theme, without rituals and ceremonies, to most people in the world, they will not get lost in the forest of self recognition.(这一段里观点很多也都很好,但建议可以分段来写,那样更清晰.而且开头提到的90初在这段没有说啊,这样不好,开头的东西在下文一定要有照应的)

Therefore, it is too presumptuous to(嘿嘿,这个句式好好好好熟悉) judge the predominant role of rituals and ceremonies in sustaining people's self sensible. On the contrary, people are supposed to enlarge his own horizon and keep on fighting for his achievement if he is afraid of losing the sense of who he is(不错的升华).

很赞这篇文章
CANDY大有长进啊,看这篇文章让人耳目一新
很佩服!!
我也要努力学习赶超了 哈哈

glamorouskyUID: 2459211

Before we come to the conclusion of the extremely high status that rituals and ceremonies do in shaping people's self-consciousness, let us have a deep consideration about the question that how many people nowadays have sense of honor of their conventional rituals and ceremonies, especially those born after 1990s? [为什么这一段有点读中文的感觉]While it is true that rituals and ceremonies have played crucial roles in defining a culture to some extent, but how much truth there is in the assertion that societies or groups of people would have a diminished sense of who they are devoid of rituals and ceremonies? [虽然这样形式很新 但是开头没有提出确切的论点这样好么]The above statement, as far as I am concerned, should be divided into three part to discuss since it lacks rigid support.
On one hand, one can obscure the fact that rituals and ceremonies virtually contribute a great mass in boosting the development of both society and individual. If we cast a look back at the history of the whole world, it is possible to identify an evolution of rituals and ceremonies. Rituals and ceremonies, the manifestation of people's respect to others or fear of the unknown world, have been utilized as methods to comfort and please people and fulfill their spiritual needs. In a society where technology is not as sophisticated as modern world, knowledge accumulation is not as broad as today, information broadcasting is not as convenient as nowadays, it exists the possibility that rituals and ceremonies act as the fundamental element in shaping people's sense of who they are due to the fact that they have no other ways to show their authentic emotion. As Maslow's hierarchy of needs goes that all human being have five basic levels of needs: psychology, safely, belonging, esteem and self-actualization.[终于见到了这个传说中的例子] By holding rituals and ceremonies, in the widest possible sense, many people could maintain what they thirst for as well as to satisfy others' needs. A typical case in point is the spring festival in China which was viewed as a traditional ceremonies to celebrate the get-together of a whole family, it was create[created] chiefly to satisfy people's belonging needs in a society which transportation and communication was in their undeveloped condition. People, especially those old ones, could feel the existence of them and care from others to enhance the sense of who they are by raising rituals and ceremonies.[例子撑起整段 有说服力]
On the other hand, whether rituals and ceremonies still well worth our emphasis in such an advanced period is a controversial issue which each side has its advocates. Some people argue that as traditional forms, rituals and ceremonies not only sustain their original use, but also act as art expressions of human behavior in certain cases. Whatever else may be[去掉] said, knowing the specific circumstance rituals and ceremonies have been used in is indispensable for a proper understanding of whether people's self-consciousness would diminish without them. Majority of common residents in many countries have thanks giving ceremonies as many Chinese do in spring festival; however, it is no longer the function as to make the lonely ones to feel their existence since people could express their affection any time they hope through the internet and mobile phone or by spending a few hours on airplane to meet face to face. "Turkey" is just a habit people still want to persist on, which is no more than a way to obtain joyous. Again, there are parallels with other rituals and ceremonies such as the famous adult ceremony; can we say that people have no idea of their identity if no one hold such a ceremony for him? The answer is definitely no. When asked about who we are, the primary things come to our mind must be our family background or our careers but not what rituals and ceremonies we stick to regardless of some extremely loyal believers of religious. Moving on to a wider theme, without rituals and ceremonies, to most people in the world, they will not get lost in the forest of self recognition.
Therefore, it is too presumptuous to judge the predominant role of rituals and ceremonies in sustaining people's self sensible. On the contrary, people are supposed to enlarge his own horizon and keep on fighting for his achievement[这是什么意思呢] if he is afraid of losing the sense of who he is.
写了这么多 楼主的文章给人干净而又一气呵成的感觉  集中攻破两个方面 值得借鉴 不过楼主gre词汇好像都不太用

[ 本帖最后由 glamorousky 于 2008-6-8 18:50 编辑 ]