Argument110【 超越自我小组】第二次作业by cartographer08

cartographer08UID: 2523568

Argument 110
Using Day Glow lights bulbs to improve students’ academic performance and teachers’ morale

The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.

"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."

In the memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School, the arguer concludes that Sherwood can improve student’s academic performance and teachers’ morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter. To support the argument, he cited the records that the attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops and grades decline during December and January, and that teacher’s resignation are also highest during these months. In addition, he reasons that the installment of Day Glow light bulbs with mimic sunlight increased the students’ grade point averages in Tundra Vocational School. However, this argument suffers from several fatal fallacies.

In the first place, the arguer does not provide direct evidence that poor lighting in Sherwood High’s classrooms affects student academic performance and teacher morale. It is common sense that many factors affect the student’s academic performance, and the lighting is just one. Maybe the bad weather in winter, like storms that block the rood to school, is the key factor that results in the low attendance rates, average daily class participation. And the disappointing teaching method leads to the decline of grades. What’s more, the number of teacher’s resignations doesn’t necessarily mean that the morale is impaired, perhaps although the number is highest, but it is still small compare to the whole and the proportion is still low, so the morale will not be affected.

Secondly, the arguer fails to establish a casual relationship between using Day Glow light bulbs in winter and students’ academic performance and the teachers’ morale. The mere fact that Tundra has receive the student’s grade points averages increasing after the Day Glow light bulbs were installed does not definitely come to the conclusion that it is the lighting improvement help to increase the grades. Perhaps the school has taken other measurements such as changing the schedule of classes or enhancing the quality of teaching, and that bring about the better students’ academic performance. And the experience in Tundra does not include any aspect about the lighting and the teacher’s morale.

Thirdly, the arguer commits a fallacy of false analogy. The argument bases on the result of an unrepresentative study that may only used in Tundra could not stand for all parts. So even if the installment of Day Glow light bulbs does have effect on the student academic performances, which of course have no warranty as mentioned above, the arguer could not guarantee that this measure would be effective in Sherwood.

To sum up, this argument is not persuasive as it stands, at least base on this memo. To make it more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning that it is the poor lighting conditions affect the students’ performance and teachers’ morale. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding the influence of bulbs with mimic sunlight on students’ performances and the teacher’s morale.

啊拉UID: 2527432

Argument110【超越自我小组】第二次作业by cartographer08

Argument 110Using Day Glow lights bulbs to improve students’ academic performance and teachers’ morale

The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.

"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."

In the memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School,(tips:以后写阿狗的时候专有名词第一次出现后可加括号缩写,如Sherwood Junior High School(SJHS),这样后文出现可以直接打SJHS代替节省时间) the arguer concludes that Sherwood can improve student’s academic performance and teachers’ morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter. To support the argument, he cited the records that the attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops and grades decline during December and January, and that teacher’s resignation are also highest during these months. In addition, he reasons that the installment of Day Glow light bulbs with mimic sunlight increased the students’ grade point averages in Tundra Vocational School. However, this argument suffers from several fatal fallacies.(老鼠发过一个argue开头的连接可以看一下~开头不用把没点要批得全都写出来而令人感觉是在复述~~)In the first place, the arguer does not provide direct evidence that poor lighting in Sherwood High’s classrooms affects student academic performance and teacher morale. It is common sense that many factors affect the student’s academic performance, and the lighting is just one. Maybe the bad weather in winter, like storms that block the road to school, is the key factor that results in the low attendance rates, average daily class participation. And the disappointing teaching method leads to the decline of grades. What’s more, the number of teacher’s resignations doesn’t necessarily(建议删除,没有必要意味着么…应该是并不意味着) mean that the morale is impaired, perhaps although the number is highest, but it is still small compare to the whole and the proportion is still low, so the morale will not be affected.(小猴啊,教师的士气和所谓的辞职是同一个东西…这段主旨是教师的辞职也好士气也好是被灯光所影响的,所以应该是批驳教师的情况和光照并无直接关系而不是辞职影不影响士气…)Secondly, the arguer fails to establish a casual relationship between using Day Glow light bulbs in winter and students’ academic performance and the teachers’ morale. The mere fact that Tundra has receive the student’s grade points averages increasing after the Day Glow light bulbs were installed does not definitely come to the conclusion that it is the lighting improvement help to increase the grades. Perhaps the school has taken other measurements such as changing the schedule of classes or enhancing the quality of teaching, and that bring about the better students’ academic performance. And the experience in Tundra does not include any aspect about the lighting and the teacher’s morale.(这段没有问题)Thirdly, the arguer commits a fallacy of false analogy. (每段TS尽量不要用这种ETS提供的错误类别抽象词汇…直接说错误即可)The argument bases on the result of an unrepresentative study that may only used in Tundra could not stand for all parts. So even if the installment of Day Glow light bulbs does have effect on the student academic performances, which of course have no warranty as mentioned above, the arguer could not guarantee that this measure would be effective in Sherwood.(这段不是和上段一个意思吗…)To sum up, this argument is not persuasive as it stands, at least base on this memo. To make it more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning that it is the poor lighting conditions affect the students’ performance and teachers’ morale. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding the influence of bulbs with mimic sunlight on students’ performances and the teacher’s morale.(argue的结尾不重要,可以粗略带过,省下时间狠狠的批驳吧!)

建议看一下这个帖子: https://bbs.gter.net/thread-416323-1-1.html

写阿狗首先要搞清楚作者的目的是什么~作者的目的在第一段中也被你看出来了,即arguer concludes that Sherwood can improve student’s academic performance and teachers’ morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter
那么我们所写的一切内容都是基于那些无法达到作者所得的结论的所谓”论据”,而不是从作者的文章中挑刺说你这个说的没道理那个说的不对…所以要找到文章的逻辑链,这样就不会再出类似第一段老师的辞职会不会影响士气的这种问题了…
纯属个人意见~仅供参考~~

啊拉UID: 2527432

这个颜色显示有问题...将就一下看吧...=.=