issue48 超越自我小组

vryUID: 2288609

issue48
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

What is the purpose of the study of history? The answers might various from person to person. However, I assume that the main reason we are fascinated in the history is the desire to know and learn from the truth of the past so that we can perform properly in the future. And the purpose decides the way we study and handle the history. The continuous status of the emphasis put on individuals during historical study should probably meet the practical needs. And there might be three factors that determine the status.

first is that the individuals in the history are easy to learn from. Through the study of the individuals, we might find out the social and economical back grounds, the personal experiences, the education level, the values that were treasured of the winner as well as the loser. People read those biographies and follow the steps those great persons had ever started with and prevent the mistakes leading to failures. Therefore, from this sense, there is no reason for people to have interest on the insignificant ones.

The second one is that most biographers and historians were paid or attracted by the successes. In all ages, hitorical vitories,which were the major part of the history, weren't ever been recorded without names, which  requiring not only their descendants but also enemies to take into memories. And the ordinaries didn't have any chances to be recorded or mentioned, they were just considered as the same, one of the mass.

Thirdly, as the energy of the historians is limited, only few in the history can be actually studied and analyzed carefully, and there are always a great rest of people are omitted and forgotten. Considering the readers, they have no such persistent attention on the every individuals of the past. Moreover, there is few material of the insignificant people left to be studied, Which limited the scope of the history studies.

Moreover, although there is possibility that the impact of a group of people in a certain time is much heavier than the known individuals, they are just mass without individualities. It might be true that a historical event happened because of the insist of a thousand of people on one aim, but we'd better find out the leader of the event, as it was him that actuate the event. Despite the limited effect single persons can exert, without him, those were just one thousand people just like any other thousands.

However, the activities that the history studies put much emphasis on the individuals do have evil impact on the concepts of people today. Reader might perceive as that ordinaries are useless or being ordinaries is regarded as uesless.Apart from the hard work to be famous, some might adopt extreme ways to be noticed or famous , just want to be kept in the history.

hermituforestUID: 2354296

What is the purpose of the study of history? The answers might various from person to person. However（哪里有转折的意思:confused: ，中文总是但是。。。不表转折，英文可不行), I assume（这个貌似是事实，不要用I assume） that the main reason we are fascinated in the history is the desire to know and learn from the truth of the past so that we can perform properly in the future. And（这里也不是并列啊，改成so） the purpose（哪里有purpose:confused: ，上文貌似是reason） decides the way we study and handle the history. The continuous status of the emphasis put on individuals during historical study should probably meet the practical needs. And there might be three factors that determine the status.

（首段对于统领全文来说是很好的~~不过感觉你把题目简单化了，过于简单的逻辑不容易高分啊~~）


first（大写） is （好像是个chinglish。。。First好像不是名词）that the individuals in the history are easy to learn from. Through the study of the individuals, we might find out the social and economical back grounds, the personal experiences, （and）the education level, the values that were treasured of the winner as well as the loser. People read those biographies and follow the steps those great persons had ever started with and prevent the mistakes leading to failures. Therefore, from this sense, there is no reason for people to have interest on the insignificant ones.

（你的中心句是easy to learn from，后面却没有讲为什么famous few 的history 会 easy to learn，而是讲了从famous few 哪里可以学到什么。。可以叫做跑题吧。。。）


The second one is that most biographers and historians were paid or attracted by the successes. In all ages, hitorical vitories, which（为什么要用从句呢？都没有主句。。。） were the major part of the history, weren't ever been recorded without names, which  requiring not only their descendants but also enemies to take into memories. And the ordinaries didn't have any chances to be recorded or mentioned, they were just considered as the same, one of the mass.

（又有问题了。。。你没有说明为什么masses不会pay and attract biographers。。。别忘了中心~~）


Thirdly, as the energy of the historians is limited, only few in the history can be actually studied and analyzed carefully, and there are always a great rest of people are omitted and forgotten. Considering the readers, they have no such persistent attention on the every individuals of the past. Moreover, there is（are） few material（s） of the insignificant people left to be studied, Which limited the scope of the history studies.

Moreover, although there is possibility that the impact of a group of people in a certain time is much heavier than the known individuals, they are just mass without individualities. It might be true that a historical event happened because of the insist of a thousand of people on one aim, but we'd better find out the leader of the event, as it was him that actuate the event. Despite the limited effect single persons can exert, without him, those were just one thousand people just like any other thousands.
（本段没有中心句啊。。。是不是在说没有famous few 领导masses，他们就是一盘散沙~~感觉并没有论证的很清晰。。）

However, the activities that the history studies put much emphasis on the individuals do have evil impact on the concepts of people today. Reader might perceive as that ordinaries are useless or being ordinaries is regarded as uesless. Apart from the hard work to be famous, some might adopt extreme ways to be noticed or famous, just want to be kept in the history.（让步么？。。。好象不是结尾啊。。。:confused: 没有结尾么。。。我也总感觉写到后来不想写结尾了。。。可是看到这里还是感觉有一点不舒服。。。）

感觉虎虎这篇文章写得很匆忙的样子，是不是因为写的太赶了而没有太仔细思考啊？
首先，第一段还是不错的，很好的分析了题目统领了全文，但是决定了整体逻辑过于简单。
其次，中间段落角度还是很多的。。不错~~不过感觉有一点缺乏条理，像是一点点的拼凑的样子。。