Argument51 【0906G 文以载道三月四月小组】 第二周第二次作业 on colett

阿狸UID: 2587762

The report concludes that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment against the secondary infections. To support the conclusion, the report cites an experiment of the patients. However, careful scrutiny/(a careful analysis) of the study  reveals that it accomplishes little toward supporting the report’s conclusion, as discussed below.
To start with, the etiological(这是什么词?冏）reasons of the different recuperation time of the two groups of patients can not be definitely considered to be related to the second infection, which is only the composer’s subjective opinion owing to even in the experiment there is no evidence about the possibility that it is the secondary infection that causes the delay in recoverment.（这句虽然我知道你想要表达的意思，但是你的表述方式可能会让迅速阅卷的监考老师产生误解；）稍作修改，把subjective附近的语序调整一下）. So we shouldn't easily make a conclusion that average recuperation time of the 2nd group was not significantly reduced. （这句逻辑表述也不严密，第二组康复时间未减少是既定事实，真正应该驳斥的是arguer从这个事实中得出的不严密结论，请再推敲）
What’s more, the composer misleads the readers severely by writing that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment according to the fact that average recuperation time of the 2nd group was not significantly reduced. Logically speaking, the mean dates can not be deputy of the whole population which is equal to the composer’s all patients. So I argue that this conclusion is not so definite.
Last but not the least, the background of the 2 groups are so different that the result of the contrast experiment is little valuable. Firstly we don’t know the damage degree of the 2 groups, which is absent（不准确，改为not considered) in the experiment but significantly effecting on the result. Secondly the doctors of the 2 groups are different, especially unequal when it comes to the level of treatment skill. Obviously we easily find the levels of the 2 doctors are different like the earth and the sky. (有点罗嗦；））In the field of treating severe muscle strain, the first doctor who specializes in sports medicine must have giantlike advantage but （改成while比较好） the general physician lacks（删去of) experience in this kind of treatment. So this contrast is unjust. Even there is no the factor of the second infection.（这句完全摸不着头脑）
In sum I hold the opinion that this report has serious errors which makes it almost of no value owing to the following reasons. The background, including the doctors and the degree of the damage, of the report is not the same，（非限制定语从句逗号要加上呀；）） which let the result absolutely far from the supposed main factors.（这里最好加个句号使行文更加有条理） And the opinion of the composer is over subjective according to the mean date. Finally the composer still have a lot of work to do to improve the report to make it perfect.   

很多长长绕绕的句子啊～不知是好还是坏～～囧
总体还是有很多闪光点滴～你的短时记忆能力真的很强大啊，解构你那些长句（有一段貌似只有一句话?囧）可把我这空空的脑瓜又给狠掏了一把～阿门！
但是知道你是很有实力的！加油！我要好好修养，元气大伤了……