Argument 53 【0906G 文以载道三月四月小组】2.8作业 by NormalFuJen

NormalFuJenUID: 2571208

153.The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.

"Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television-programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.-should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time."

提纲：
1：自1950年以来变化因素太多，可能是因为经济等因互的原因。
2：在家表现出暴力不代表真的有暴力。
3：90％不具有说服性。
4：prime 时间小孩子们是否在看电视呢？

The editorial claims that the steadily increased in violent crime among Alta's teenagers is primarily caused by the increasingly violent television programming during prime time. To support this assertion, the editorial cites several national studies and various statistics about violence on television. However, close scrutiny of the evidence lends little support for the editorial's conclusion.

To begin with, the editorial observes the parallel between the popularization of television and the increase of teenager violent crime; hence directly declare that the violence on television is responsible to that increase. However, the editorial fails to rule out other possible explanation for this trend of increase in violence crime among teenagers. It is entirely possible that a war has broken out there and people there have become violent ever since, including those teenagers. Perhaps the economy situation there has experienced a sharp decrease since 1950s, which deteriorate the spirits of residents there, making teenagers there becoming more and more violent. Without ruling out all other such factors, it is unfair to declare that violence programs on television are responsible for this rise.

The editorial cites the studies that young children display more violent behavior at home after watching a lot of violent images as strong evidence that the violent programs on television are responsible for the trend of increase. However, the studies only show us that children become more violent at home while tell us no word about what they behave in public. It is highly possible that their behaviors are normal and not violent at all. Moreover, violent behavior and violent crime are different matter at all, while the editorial fails to provide any evidence that this sort of violent behavior ultimately develops into criminal behavior.

90% of the survey conducted are parents who suggested less violent program should be shown in prime time is another reason for the editorial's conclusion. However, the editorial fails to provide information about the population of the survey. Perhaps people who attended this survey only took a tiny part of the total population of Alta. In this case, the survey could tell us nothing about the opinion of the majority of Alta, let alone persuade me to agree with the conclusion. To convince me of the conclusion, the editorial should provide us the percentage of the people who took part in the survey.

The editorial also links the program in prime time to the behavior of children unfairly. Perhaps children are busy with their homework at prime time while watch television programs mainly before 7 p.m. In this case, the television program in prime time has little to do with the behavior of teenagers at all.

In conclusion, the editorial is unconvincing as it stands. To strength the argument, the editorial's author should rule out other factors that may have effect on the rise in teenage violence as well as the representation of the survey. To better evaluate the recommendation, the author should provide us the evidence that teenagers are mainly watching television programs in prime time.

nohevenUID: 2447539

153.The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.

"Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television-programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.-should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time."

提纲：
1：自1950年以来变化因素太多，可能是因为经济等因互的原因。
2：在家表现出暴力不代表真的有暴力。
3：90％不具有说服性。
4：prime 时间小孩子们是否在看电视呢？

The editorial claims that the steadily increased in violent crime among Alta's teenagers is primarily caused by the increasingly violent television programming during prime time. To support this assertion, the editorial cites several national studies and various statistics about violence on television. However, close scrutiny of the evidence lends little support for the editorial's conclusion.

To begin with, the editorial observes the parallel between the popularization of television and the increase of teenager violent crime; hence directly declare that the violence on television is responsible to that increase. However, the editorial fails to rule out other possible explanation for this trend of increase in violence crime among teenagers. It is entirely possible that a war has broken out there and people there have become violent ever since, including those teenagers. Perhaps the economy situation there has experienced a sharp decrease since 1950s, which deteriorate the spirits of residents there, making teenagers there becoming more and more violent.(这个“他因”举得有点极端化，其实换一个比较日常的更具说服力) Without ruling out all other such factors, it is unfair to declare that violence programs on television are responsible for this rise.（这一段其实还可以结合“全国范围的调查不一定适用于某个地区”来写）

The editorial cites the studies that young children display more violent behavior at home after watching a lot of violent images as strong evidence that the violent programs on television are responsible for the trend of increase. However, the studies only show us that children become more violent at home while tell us no word about what they behave in public. It is highly possible that their behaviors are normal and not violent at all. Moreover, violent behavior and violent crime are different matter at all, while the editorial fails to provide any evidence that this sort of violent behavior ultimately develops into criminal behavior.（暴力倾向确实不能直接推出暴力行为，但论证不足；建议列举他因）

90% of the survey conducted are parents who suggested less violent program should be shown in prime time is another reason for the editorial's conclusion. However, the editorial fails to provide information about the population of the survey. Perhaps people who attended this survey only took a tiny part of the total population of Alta. In this case, the survey could tell us nothing about the opinion of the majority of Alta, let alone persuade me to agree with the conclusion. To convince me of the conclusion, the editorial should provide us the percentage of the people who took part in the survey.（我觉得这一段应该放在第二个论点上比较有利于形成层层推荐的效果）

The editorial also links the program in prime time to the behavior of children unfairly. Perhaps children are busy with their homework at prime time while watch television programs mainly before 7 p.m. In this case, the television program in prime time has little to do with the behavior of teenagers at all.
（还是论证层次的建议：个人认为作者将原有提纲中的1-2-3-4调整为1-3-4-2会更具说服力和层次感）
In conclusion, the editorial is unconvincing as it stands. To strength the argument, the editorial's author should rule out other factors that may have effect on the rise in teenage violence as well as the representation of the survey. To better evaluate the recommendation, the author should provide us the evidence that teenagers are mainly watching television programs in prime time.