Argument20 【☆09GRE作文冲刺组】swbai 2月11日作文

swbaiUID: 2600532

题目：ARGUMENT20 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."

In this letter the writer recommends limiting the number of rentals. To support this recommendation the writer cites the following facts about Balmer Island: (1) the population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months; (2) by limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals; (3) to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them land credible support to the recommendation.
First, the increase of the population does not necessarily indicate that the number of accidents will rise. Perhaps the population of Balmer Island is 99,000, which is only a little smaller than present. Perhaps there are a lot of tourists in the summer months, and in the rest of times, Balmer Island just has 10,000 residents, which is one tenth of its peak. In short, without ruling out other possible reasons for the increase of the population the writer cannot convince me on the basis of them that the number of accidents is increasing, let alone that the town council should limit the numbers of mopeds rented.
Secondly, even if the population of Balmer Island is increasing, the writer assumes further that the town council is sure to attain the 50 persent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals. Yet the letter contains no evidence to support this assumption. Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that the island fo Torseau only achieved the 50 persent reduction in moped accidents, yet the rental limits has been carried out for many years. In fact, perhaps the Torseau's town council may have published other restrictions to reduce the accidents of the mopeds.
Thirdly, the fact that the limit of the number of mopeds rented accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the recommendation. The number of privacy owned mopeds are not considered, which could make up the majority of the mopeds. Besides, the pedestrians maybe lack of traffic rules, for they may simply cross the road without caring about the traffics.
In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the writer must provide clear evidence--perhaps by way of a local survey or study--that the population is ever growing, the majority of mopeds are privacy or not, and in the accidents concerned with mopeds, whether the pedestrians obey the traffic law. To better assess the recommendation, I would need to know why the accident reduction happed in island of Torseau.

d596086UID: 2522476

In this letter the writer recommends limiting the number of rentals. To support this recommendation the writer cites the following facts about Balmer Island: (1) the population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months; (2) by limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals; (3) to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them land credible support to the recommendation.
我认为不要把题目内容如此详细的复述，第一耽误时间，第二被认为抄题凑字

First, the increase of the population does not necessarily indicate that the number of accidents will rise. Perhaps the population of Balmer Island is 99,000, which is only a little smaller than present. Perhaps there are a lot of tourists in the summer months, and in the rest of times, Balmer Island just has 10,000 residents, which is one tenth of its peak. In short, without ruling out other possible reasons for the increase of the population the writer cannot convince me on the basis of them that the number of accidents is increasing, let alone that the town council should limit the numbers of mopeds rented.

Secondly, even if the population of Balmer Island is increasing, the writer assumes further that the town council is sure to attain the 50 persent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals. Yet the letter contains no evidence to support this assumption. Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that the island fo Torseau only achieved the 50 persent reduction in moped accidents, yet the rental limits has been carried out for many years.（这句话前后表达的有点不清楚） In fact, perhaps the Torseau's town council may have published other restrictions to reduce the accidents of the mopeds.

Thirdly, the fact that the limit of the number of mopeds rented accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the recommendation. The number of privacy owned mopeds are not considered, which could make up the majority of the mopeds. Besides, the pedestrians maybe lack of traffic rules, for they may simply cross the road without caring about the traffics.
可以加一句说limitation这个策略不是最好的，而且很多其他方式可以考虑在内。 不然本段字数上显得单薄

In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the writer must provide clear evidence--perhaps by way of a local survey or study--that the population is ever growing, the majority of mopeds are privacy or not, and in the accidents concerned with mopeds, whether the pedestrians obey the traffic law. To better assess the recommendation, I would need to know why the accident reduction happed in island of Torseau.最后一段写得非常好，非常完整

总之A写出来都很客观性，大致都一样，按部就班就可以了。你文章中把错误点说的很明白，结构也不错。
如果时间多余，可以把body段多加论证，加一点反驳性的假设，会使文章更有说服力