Argument235 【0906G背水一战三月小组】第1次作业 By Yuanhuijun

yuanhuijunUID??2588920

Argument 235
提纲 ：
1.老年人数量增加，与听众数量减少虽然是同时发生 但不代表有直接的因果关系有可能是因为最近的节目的质量下降的原因造成的 并且 没有直接证据证明老年人就一定喜欢看政治报道。
2.音像店中的录制音乐销量下降不代表人们不喜欢摇滚音乐，有可能是由于经济萧条购买力下降和最近没有什么新的唱片导致的。
3.即便在邻近城市连续新闻受到极大关注不代表在我们地区一样受到关注 因为虽然是邻近城市但没有证据证明这俩个城市的居民的喜好一致 。并且，没有明确的数量和比例证明邻近城市的居民对政治报道很感兴趣 而且是在大选的这个特殊时期喜欢新闻不代表他们以后也会喜欢。

Merely,based on the unfounded and dubious indication,we can draw the conclusion that radion station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-ang-roll music to a continuous news format .To support the argue ,the auther points out the evidence that the number of older people in our listening area has increased dromatically and the toyal number of our listeners has recently declined.In addition,the author indicates that music stores report decreased sales of recorded music.he cites the result of a recent survey in support of this recommendation.at first glance ,this argument appears to neighboring citizens who are interested in becoming better informed about politice. Also,continuous news stations in this city have been very successfully convincing,but further reflction reveals that it omits some substantial concerns that should be addressed in the argument.From the logical perspective ,the argument suffers from three logical flows.
  the threshold problem with this argument is that the author personally think there exists correlation  between the dromatically increase of the number of the older people in our listening area and the decline of the total number of our listeners ,then consludes that the former is the cause of the latter.However, the argument fails to rule out other possible explanation for the toyal number of our listeners has recently declined.For example,the quality of repertoire descends recently and the broadcasting time is not  proper for commonage,Any of these factors might conduce that the total number of our listeners has recently declined .Also,there is a lack of evidence that appears to the older people care politics.
  Another problem that weakens the logic of this argument is that the auther contemplate music stores decreased sales of recorded music ,which show the people dislike rock-ang-roll music .For instance,due of enconomy questions that give rise to purchasing power to decline and due of lack new disc at recently,any of these factors might lead to this problem .
  
  Before I came to my conclusion ,it is necessory to point out the last flaw in this argument that because continuous news station in neighboring citise have been very successful so local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politices .Although our city nears this city that there is a lack of ecidence appears to the two cities' citizens have the same habbies,and there is no specific amount and proportion to demontrate that neighboring citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics.The status of the survay taken before the election doesn't indicate the people in the town are intrereted in the political news in any period other than elections.


  To sum up ,the arguer fails to substantiate his claim that radio stationKNOW should shift its programming from rack-ang-roll music to a continuous news format.because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend stong support to what the arguer maintains .To make the argument more convincing the auther would have to provide more infermation with regard to our area citizens'like.Therefore,if the argument had included the given factors discussed above it would have been more thorough and cogically acceptable.

结尾我不知道应该增加怎样的论述才能是文章更有说服力 请大家指教～
这是我第一篇作文 如果写作时候语法错误太多 语言不通等等问题还望大家指教～呜呜 这都是我改了又改的水平了 ～哎不写不知道一写吓一跳～～

yang1989UID??2534880

Merely,based on the unfounded and dubious indication,we can draw the conclusion that radion color=red(radio)/colorstation KNOW should shift its programming from rock-ang-rollcolor=red(and)/color music to a continuous news format .color=red(based是个插入语，merely开头注意要变成倒装句。又，最好文章第一句话不要用插入语。当然，这纯粹个人语感观点。)/colorTo support the argue ,the authercolor=red(author)/color points out the evidence that the number of older people in our listening area has increased dromatically color=red(dramatically)/colorand the toyalcolor=red(total)/color number of our listeners has recently declined.In addition,the author indicates that music stores report decreased sales of recorded music.he cites the result of a recent survey in support of this recommendation.at first glance ,this argument appears to neighboring citizens who are interested in becoming better informed about politicecolor=red(politics)/color. Also,continuous news stations in this city have been very successfully convincing,but further reflction color=red(refelction)/colorreveals that it omits some substantial concerns that should be addressed in the argument.From the logical perspective ,the argument suffers from three logical flows. color=red(是flaws,而且这个句式不好，wordy.既然你前面顺便对它对的错误都进行了小归纳，那这里可以顺便直接说In a word, I find this argument suffers from three main logical flaws. )/color
  
the threshold problem with this argument is that the author personally think there exists correlation  between the dromaticallycolor=red(dramatically) increase of the number of the older people in our listening area and the decline of the total number of our listeners ,then consludescolor=red(concludes)/color that the former is the cause of the latter.However, the argument fails to rule out other possible explanation for the toyalcolor=red(total)/color number of our listeners has recently declined.For example,the quality of repertoire descends recently and the broadcasting time is not  proper for commonagecolor=red(?你想写什么单词？)/color,Any of these factors might conduce that the total number of our listeners has recently declined .color=red(都讲到any of these factors了，那前面就多举几个factors嘛。)/colorAlso,there is a lack of evidence that appears to the older people care politics.color=red(这一层主要是讲线性不相关。这个political issue可以不放到这儿讲。)/color
  Another problem that weakens the logic of this argument is that the auther color=red(author)/colorcontemplate music stores decreased sales of recorded music ,which show the people dislike rock-ang-rollcolor=red(and)/color music .For instance,due of enconomycolor=red(economy)/color questions that give rise to purchasing power to decline and due of lack new disc at recently,any of these factors might lead to this problem .color=red（还是跟刚才一样，他因只举一个是不够的。还可以多凑个句子，何乐而不为？）/color
  
  Before I came to my conclusion ,it is necessorycolor=red(necessary)/color to point out the last flaw in this argument that because continuous news station in neighboring citisecolor=red(cities)/color have been very successful so local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politicescolor=red(politics。又，这个旁边城市的新闻站和本地居民的新闻兴趣没有因果关系吧。论者是把他们作为并列证据分别指向新闻广播会更成功、会更受欢迎。)/color .Although our city nears this city that there is a lack of ecidencecolor=red(evidences)/color appears to the two cities' citizens have the same habbiescolor=red(hobbis)/color,and there is no specific amount and proportion to demontratecolor=red(demonstrate)/color that neighboring citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics.The status of the survay color=red(survey)/colortaken before the election doesn't indicate the people in the town are intrereted color=red(interested)/colorin the political news in any period other than elections.


  To sum up ,the arguer fails to substantiate his claim that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rack-ang-rollcolor=red(and)/color music to a continuous news format.because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend stong color=red(strong)/colorsupport to what the arguer maintains .To make the argument more convincing the authercolor=red(author)/color would have to provide more infermationcolor=red(information)/color with regard to our area citizens'likecolor=red(preferences,like在实际生活中很少做名词。最多是用the like表示其他的类似物，比如说they grow apple,oranges, and the like.)/color.Therefore,if the argument had included the given factors discussed above it would have been more thorough and cogically (logically)acceptable.

总结：
1.注意拼写和基本语法，建议自己写完第一遍先不要管内容把语法和拼写检查一遍，这样对自己常犯的错误会印象深刻很多，下次就不会再犯了。拼写如果错多次以上要么说明是打字的手法问题要么说明是记忆问题，只有多练。如果是打字问题，建议可以没事打打范文，就照着输入，看怎么样打得又快又对。
2.基本结构有了。但注意论证细节。

yang1989UID??2534880

呃。对不起。代码似乎有问题。我也不知道为什么，可能看着有些吃力。先将就一下。我的评论都打了括号的。

yuanhuijunUID??2588920

3# yang1989

感激涕零啊 ～
由于电脑里没有WORD所以让你费事了 ～～虽然我自己检查过但是没太注意拼写！实在是给你添麻烦了。