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[活动] [TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 capricon2006的 第8次作业] [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-28 21:31:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
More and more land has been circumscribed as wildlife’s habitat by government in many nations. As to conserve genetic diversity, it is no doubt important for us to provide those animals closed to extinction an area with affluent resources. However, I think maybe it is of more importance to use land for ourselves than for endangered animals.

First, nowadays, land for cultivation has been less and less because of desert erosion, pollution and urban expansion. In addition, some agricultural land becomes no longer fit for any corn in the result of degradation. In developed nations, land for agriculture is used intensively and only single plant has been harvesting in the same land year after year. I don't think that such usage of land is behind sustainable development. In such circumstance, there is no misunderstanding that to let animals use that broad and fine land exclusively is not wise, after all, human is the priority.

At the second, the land without exploitation is a waste for us, isn't it? In some poor areas, millions of people are suffering famine. We should use that resourceful land well rather than only leave it intact for animals. This land can not only provide us many resources, such as coal, gas, wood and so on, but also meet the food requirement of starving people. Certainly, there is an important principle we should follow. We must use land in a sustainable way, or the land will not help us for long.

Maybe there are some good methods that both human and endangered animals can benefit from. For instance, we can turn some area with fascinating views to tourist sites. In this way, not only those endangered animals can be protected, but also local economy can be enhanced. In general, under laws of nature, we should place human rather than animals as the priority.
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发表于 2009-3-1 17:55:18 |只看该作者
More and more land has been circumscribed as wildlife’s habitat by government in many nations. As to conserve genetic diversity, it is no doubt important for us to provide those animals closed to extinction an area with affluent resources. However, I think maybe it is of more importance to use land for ourselves than for endangered animals. (首段先是让步,然后摆出了自己的观点,值得我学习)0 d2 W. \: P. ?% a' p6 `; \
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First, nowadays, land for cultivation has been less and less because of desert erosion, pollution and urban expansion. In addition, some agricultural land becomes no longer fit for any corn in the result of degradation. In developed nations, land for agriculture is used intensively and only single plant has been harvesting in the same land year after year. I don't think that such usage of land is behind(behind在这里意思是?) sustainable development. In such circumstance, there is no misunderstanding that to let animals use that broad and fine land exclusively is not wise, after all, human is the priority.(本段从农业用地方面写土地对人的重要性,举了发达国家用地的例子,结尾的三重否定句很精彩!)
At the second(改成second是不是和第二段开头对称些), the land without exploitation is a waste for us, isn't it? In some poor areas, millions of people are suffering famine. We should use that resourceful land well rather than only leave it intact for animals. This land can not only provide us many resources, such as coal, gas, wood and so on, but also meet the food requirement of starving people. Certainly, there is an important principle we should follow. We must use land in a sustainable way, or the land will not help us for long." V5 H/ R& A: }3 T
Maybe there are some good methods that both human and endangered animals can benefit from. For instance, we can turn some area with fascinating views to tourist sites. In this way, not only those endangered animals can be protected, but also local economy can be enhanced. In general, under laws of nature, we should place human rather than animals as the priority

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从结构和内容来看:文章开头先让步,接着用两段来说明自己的观点,最后小结。2文章用了不少从句,看不出什么语法词汇错误

总之,值得我学习

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板凳
发表于 2009-3-3 20:51:33 |只看该作者
多谢ls!!希望下次多交流

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RE: [TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 capricon2006的 第8次作业] [修改]

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