Issue41【0906G背水一战三月小组】第五次作业 by gy2006211

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In an era with booming science and technology, people may surprise to see many nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, psychic and paranormal are still exist and are even prospering. Although they can satisfy human needs in some aspects, further reflection tell us that they are harmful for us human beings in the long run.

The first reason why I have such a view is that those nonmainstream areas of inquiry can make a person lost the direction and energy in his life. For one thing, if a young man comes from a rich family and the result of the inquiry is that he will be somebody and rich all his life, from then on, the rich young man do no effort because he believe that result. At that time, it’s hard for us to believe the rich young will be succeed in the future; For another thing, if that young comes from a poor family and the answer of the inquiry said that he will always be poor all his life, he may lost all his confidence in striving for a better living condition because he believe that is unshakeable destiny.

The further reason is that sometimes the nonmainstream inquiry above may make people lost the chance to survive. Some people especially the old ones when they get some illness they prefer go to visit the fortune teller to listen to his advice rather than go to see a doctor, when the result of the inquiry is that the patient’s illness is no serious and all that he should do is completely believe what the fortune teller said instead of take medicine, as a result, the patient’s illness becomes serious and it is very difficult to be cured, if he had choose the medicine at the very beginning, all the unlucky things would not happen.

Last but not the least, the belief of the nonmainstream inquiry may make you in trouble on the way to success. In management, a wise leader is the one that can keep calm and give clear instructions when faced with complex alternatives, it’s hard for us to imagine he make the instructions and decisions not by his mind but by the fortune teller’s answer.

Admittedly, sometimes the nonmainstream inquiry may do good to people under some special conditions, especially for the one who is in deep sorrow, the good result of the inquiry can bring hope to him and thus make him be more confident to face to the difficults.

From what have been discussed above, we may draw a conclusion that the nonmainstream inquiry may satisfy people’s minds sometimes, but it do more harm to people in many aspects and we are the god of our own destiny.

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In an era with booming science and technology, people may surprise to see many nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, psychic and paranormal are still exist and are（去掉，重复） even prospering. Although they can satisfy human needs in some aspects, further reflection tell us that they are harmful for us human beings in the long run. （最好不要原文重复，概括，最好在结尾表明自己的观点）
The first reason why I have such a view is that those nonmainstream areas of inquiry can make a person lost（lose） the direction and energy in his life. For one thing, if a young man comes from a rich family and the result of（as a result of） the inquiry is that he will be somebody （这是什么意思）and rich all his life, from then on, the rich（去掉） young man do no effort（effort是名词，may not make efforts） because he believe（believes） that result. At that time, it’s （it is 不要缩写，不正式）hard for us to believe the rich young will be succeed in the future; （。）For another thing, if that young comes from a poor family and the answer of the inquiry said that he will always be poor all his life, he may lost all his confidence in striving for a better living condition because he believe that（it 差个主语） is unshakeable destiny.
（你想论证什么观点，题目的意思是一些非主流观点在社会中起着非常重要的作用，而你应该重点论述这些观点对社会不起作用，而不是说明对个人的害处，或者你应该更进一步的论证是因为这些非主流的观点对个人会产生害处所以它们没有在社会中起主要作用，而不是单纯的说坏处，这点逻辑上要想清楚。）
The further reason is that sometimes the nonmainstream inquiry above may make people lost(lost是形容词，lose？感觉用 make people fail to seize应该好些，参考 ) the chance to survive. Some people especially the old ones when they get some illness they prefer （to）go to visit the fortune teller to listen to his advice rather than go to see a doctor, when the result of the inquiry is that the patient’s illness is no serious and all that he should do is completely（to，语法问题要注意） believe what the fortune teller said instead of take （taking）medicine, （差个连词and）as a result, the patient’s illness becomes serious and it is very difficult to be cured（may not cure any more）, （otherwise，）if he had choose（chosen，简单的语法问题一定要注意啊，影响分数） the medicine at the very beginning, all the unlucky things would not happen.（这句话太长，不要写这么长，容易犯语法错）
这段仍然只是在说非主流观点对人们的害处，还是没有论证题目的观点，与题目无关

Last but not the least, the belief of the nonmainstream inquiry may make you in trouble on the way to success. In management, a wise leader is the one that can keep calm and give clear instructions when faced （facing）with complex alternatives, it’s hard for us to imagine he make the instructions and decisions not by his mind but by the fortune teller’s answer. （这段非常不好，完全不知道想要表达什么）
Admittedly, sometimes the nonmainstream inquiry may do good （形容词啊!well）to people under some special conditions, especially for the one who is in deep sorrow, the good result of the inquiry can bring hope to him and thus make him be more confident to face to the difficults.（difficulties）
（你在开始并没有标明你的观点，这段你又承认非主流观点的好处，那你到底是赞同作者还是不赞同，没有表态啊！）

From what （I差主语，注意语法错误啊！）have been discussed above, we may draw a conclusion that the nonmainstream inquiry may satisfy people’s minds sometimes, but it do more harm to people in many aspects and we are the god of our own destiny.

这篇文章不太成功，你没有很好的明白题目的意思和你要反驳的观点，逻辑上存在着很大的问题，也没有什么事例，要找资料，建议你写之前先列提纲，先想清楚题目要表达的意思，再找论点去支持或消弱它。还有就是你要注意语法错误，这篇文章有很多错误，特别一些简单的语法错误是很会影响你的分数的。个人观点仅供参考。

不好意思，看得晚了点。继续加油哦！