Argument183【0906G背水一战三月小组】第7次作业 by yunfeiyang4ever

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【攻击】
1. 调查可疑；不知道有多少公司被调查，有多少回应者，而且调查的范围也不知道；而且被调查者很有可能没说真话，因为说自己裁员可能表示公司的效益不好等等；
2. 即使调查结果可信，也不说明结论；雇佣新员工不等于不裁掉老员工，公司要维持管理、保证效率，而且要保持工资的平衡，如果只招人不裁人那么员工工资总数过高，使得公司财政紧张；
3. 课程也不一定有效；是否失落要看人们的性格；

【原文】
In this argument, the author concludes that employees of major United States corporations should not fear that they will lose their jobs in the near future. The conclusion is based on the survey that majority of companies expect to hire new employees. In addition, the author cites that the proliferation of programs and of workshops has made being laid off far less painful. A careful scrutiny the evidence reveals it accomplishes little credible supporting the author's claim, as discussed below.


To begin with, the validity of the survey is doubtful. In the first place, it is not informed that how many companies are surveyed and respond. If, for instance, 100 subjects are surveyed, but no more than 10 echoed, the conclusion would be highly suspect. Also, the samples might be unrepresentative of various corporations as a group. Perhaps the author only survey companies in his city, representing the all United States corporations. In the second place, the author assumes that the responds themselves are reliable. It is entirely possible that respondents would not be inclined to provide authentic and believable answer out of consideration for their company current condition. As we know, laying off employees is a symbol of the company being unprofitable. For that matter, seldom would acknowledge the depression of their company. Lacking any statistics about the survey and evidence that the respondents' reports are truthful, the author cannot convince me that the survey is trustworthy.


Even assuming above survey is reliable, the author assumes too hastily that employees should not be afraid of losing their jobs. Perhaps the new hires intend to replace many current employees. As we know, the total number of the company trends balance in the purpose of improving management. What's more, imaging that a company consistently hires new employees without firing others, the growing number of all employees' salary might lead the financial burden of the company. Therefore, no evidence is established that indicates that majority of companies would not dismiss hires when they make new hires.


Finally, the author assumes that proliferation would make being laid off far less painful. Yet the author fails to substantiate this assumption. As we know, whether disturbing or not depends on several major factors, such as the individuals' character, other than the effective of the proliferation. For instance, it is very likely that the pessimistic realizes that even making a tremendous effort could not seek a new job despites the proliferation is useful. If so, how can the author relies on such a confusion to reasonably conclude that the proliferation could eliminate the painful of the fired.


To sum up, the author has done nothing more than state an opinion with some anecdotal information included that proves nothing. To make it logically acceptable, the author must convince me -- perhaps by way of a reliable survey -- that the proliferation of programs and of workshops is useful. Additionally, without providing direct evidence that the majority companies should not lay off employees, the argument is based on nothing more than pure speculation and perhaps wishful thinking.

fireofnightUID??2447280

Inthis argument, the author concludes that employees of major UnitedStates corporations should not fear that they will lose their jobs inthe near future. The conclusion is based on the survey that majority ofcompanies expect to hire new employees. In addition, the author citesthat the proliferation of programs and of workshops has made being laidoff far less painful. A careful scrutiny the evidence reveals itaccomplishes little credible supporting the author's claim, asdiscussed below.
//挺好的开头，该列的几点都列出来了

To begin with, the validity of the survey is doubtful. In the firstplace, it is(we are) not informed that how many companies are(were) surveyed and(showing)respond. If, for instance, (assuming 否则后面的句子语法解释不通)100 subjects are surveyed, but no more than10 echoed, the conclusion would be highly suspect. Also, the samplesmight be unrepresentative of various corporations as a group(Good Point! I didn't think about that  :)  ). Perhapsthe author only survey companies in his city, (which could not be) representing the allUnited States corporations. In the second place, the author assumesthat the responds themselves are reliable(trusting可靠的/可信的，感觉还是有点不太一样的). It is entirely possible thatrespondents would not be inclined to provide authentic and believableanswer out of consideration for their company current condition. As weknow, laying off employees is a symbol of the company beingunprofitable. For that matter, seldom would acknowledge the depressionof their company. Lacking any statistics about the survey and evidencethat the respondents' reports are truthful, the author cannot convinceme that the survey is trustworthy.


Even assuming above survey(the survey mentioned above) is reliable, the author assumes too hastilythat employees should not be afraid of losing their jobs. Perhaps thenew hires intend to replace many current employees.(前后可以连成一个因果句) As we know, thetotal number of the company trends balance in the purpose of improvingmanagement. What's more(换一个连接用语吧，后面更像是举了个例子), imaging that a company consistently hires newemployees without firing others, the growing number of all employees'salary might lead(lead 是不及物动词 lead the company to have...or something like that) the financial burden of the company. Therefore, noevidence is established that indicates(indicating连续两个that...) that majority of companies wouldnot dismiss hires when they make new hires.


Finally, the author assumes that proliferation would make being laidoff far less painful.（merge 一下前后的句子） Yet the author fails to substantiate thisassumption. As we know, whether disturbing or not depends on severalmajor factors, such as the individuals' character, other than theeffective of the proliferation（红色部分放在句首好点：other than theeffective of the proliferation, whether.... 或者做插入语，放在or not 后面）. For instance, it is very likely thatthe pessimistic realizes that even making a tremendous effort could notseek a new job despites the proliferation is useful. If so(if so有点口语化，可以用In this/such case), how can(有点口语化，换成陈述句把) theauthor relies on such a confusion to reasonably conclude that theproliferation could eliminate the painful of the fired.


To sum up, the author has done nothing more than state an opinion withsome anecdotal information included that proves nothing. To make itlogically acceptable, the author must convince me -- perhaps by way ofa reliable survey -- that the proliferation of programs and ofworkshops is useful. Additionally, without providing direct evidencethat the majority companies should not lay off employees, the argumentis based on nothing more than pure speculation and perhaps wishfulthinking.
最后一段不错


LZ的逻辑比较严密，
可以在花点功夫在句子的雕琢上

大家一起进步


fireofnight